Thanks Sandi, I think I did detect humility in her. She said she has never done this in her life where she has had to be this humble. I diagnosed her as a Narcissist 7,8,9 months ago and a true Narcissist would never get to this point. They will not even lie like this and risk looking so wrong. My W has never made up with her parents after their blow out 9 months ago when she was in the wrong although I fell her wanting to.
I do see a change in her right now and although cautious I think she is now trying but I do know that there will be that withdrawal. Like neffer said I am trying to be the light....and a strong light to help where I can with that.
I told her about the tracking because my instincts where always right, the proof was just for validation to make sure I wasn't going crazy....but now I know...now I know...that intuition is most often right and I'm not playing this game anymore. Maybe she sensed that, maybe that is helping clear the fog.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Agree with sandi (ha ha ha ha...). Your W has a long way home now Lost. I did that journey. Lot of similar feelings. The end of the A and the fantasy life associated with that. Some days will be hard man, donīt press too much...
Being transparent and stopping the double life give us, the wws, some rest and the chance to release all the stress generated by the EA/PA. We are exhausted at that end. We need time to heal our foggy world.
Time, space, patience. Eyes open.
Iīm really happy for you man. Canīt tear at work, I need to go...
(((Lost)))
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Be strong Lost. Show her the light and the way home. Sandi said it well, challenges ahead but there is hope. This is good to hear lost. From the sound of it your W appeared to have been in a pretty bad place and you both need support on this journey forward together. Like neffer said, cant tear up... I have no tissue.
Keep at it buddy.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
Yes Sandi, I do understand that. She has been very transparent this week and has been just very different with her communication with me. Like neffer said and W confirmed I can see there is not the same stress level in her, she seems more relaxed and has been very open, wants to be with me, wants to do things with me and is talking about the future. All of this is happening this week without the alcohol.
I know it is still new but I am staying positive.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Not a bad weekend, not perfect, but better than last.
Spent Friday evening together, did some talking. W wanted to start wearing wedding ring again and I didn't oppose. I told her I am working to get there but I need time to. Still being transparent when needed and not overdoing it.
She spent Sat eve with some old neighborhood girlfriends at their house but stayed in touch. I scheduled some GAL time and we met up at home before 12. She made a point of texting and calling and a few pics (with her in them) throughout the eve. A bit of overkill but we had discussed in the past that when she is not doing anything wrong she had always stayed in touch. She said she wants to....she wants me to trust her...I told her it will take time to rebuild that and she knows, but acknowledged her effort.
She is still struggling internally, not she if it is withdrawal but definitely past issues are still lurking and she doesn't know how to deal with them. I cannot help but am still trying to be the light of support without bearing the full load of her pain.
We are looking at purchasing a small boat...she is financing but wants us to be able to spend more time together out of the house. We have always liked the water and this would be some good bonding time to get away from the everyday at home activities.
Long road still I know until she gets more significant help but no steps back and a little over a week since the last shoe dropped.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Thatīs good lost. Keep doing that GAL. One step after the other. Both of you need some time together and some time alone. Give her space. Meanwhile you need to keep a DB vigil. Know what I mean right? Keep getting into amoafwl and shining bright. Listen to her when MR talks, validate her feelings with a moving forward criteria.
Time and patience man (I donīt know how many times I have written this today...)
My best wishes for your family of 4
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Checking in..neffer and sandi I guess I was looking for your thoughts since you have experienced this first hand.
Last night W was hesitant to tell me me because she didn't want to upset me but let me know OM called from his work number which she showed me the missed call and that she recognized it and blocked it, as well as an email that he was trying to see if they could get together.
I told her I appreciated her telling me and her honesty. She reiterated that she is not losing me for anyone.
It's still early in the game but anxiety still comes over me. She could easily have not told me and could have set up other means of communication because she said she didn't want me to see the number and think they were in contact. They could have set up another means of communication so this didn't happen but he called her phone that she has given me the password to.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
