What I learned from Wife's MLC- Part2

[Adam04]

kiro, good to hear from you.

Can you detect she is willing? What does your gut tell you? You may be hesitant with all your DB skills so imagine the help she will need.

communication and trust. you have the opportunity to work on communication, yes?

[kiro]

Hi Paco, sorry the reconciliation didn’t work out for you

[kiro]

Hi everyone

It was a FALSE ALARM!

You were all right. I was fooled by my own imagination and wishes when all the warning signs were clear in front of me.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad conversation. I think it was needed to help the communication going forward. STBXW came back to her senses and doesn’t want a legal battle anymore.

So we are back to where we were 2 or 3 weeks ago. Finalizing a few details and filing the papers for D next week. I ended up making 1 or 2 concessions that will cost me a little more but will avoid an all out war in courts and potentially leading to my financial ruin.

It still breaks my heart a little, but I want to get it over with before she changes her mind again and starts asking for more money.

[SteveLW]

Hi everyone

It was a FALSE ALARM!

You were all right. I was fooled by my own imagination and wishes when all the warning signs were clear in front of me.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad conversation. I think it was needed to help the communication going forward. STBXW came back to her senses and doesn’t want a legal battle anymore.

So we are back to where we were 2 or 3 weeks ago. Finalizing a few details and filing the papers for D next week. I ended up making 1 or 2 concessions that will cost me a little more but will avoid an all out war in courts and potentially leading to my financial ruin.

It still breaks my heart a little, but I want to get it over with before she changes her mind again and starts asking for more money.

kiro,

I would strongly encourage that you consult with an attorney. You don't have to hire them, but you should at least spend the $200-300 to have the agreement looked over. Divorce is a legal process and you need a legal expert to help you through it. I believe this can be done and still avoid an "all out war in the courts".

Knowledge is power.

[Davide]

Kiro,

I am sorry that it turned out this way. But better that you had clear communication up front so that you didn't have to linger wondering about what was going to happen. Get that legal stuff locked in and then you can get start moving forward with your life!

You got this!

[LH19]

You were all right. I was fooled by my own imagination and wishes when all the warning signs were clear in front of me.

K I am sorry to hear that the conversation wasn't what you thought it may have been. I am just curious as to what you heard wrong and how was it clarified?

[kiro]

This experience over the past 2 years have taught me so much. I am a totally different person now. I have a lot of scars, but I’m a lot wiser

Life is all about perceptions, although I also believe more strongly than ever in an Absolute Truth that transcends our senses and our subjective experiences. We can only experience this Spiritual Truth through our heart and by reading the words of God and prayers.

Surrendering and experiencing this Absolute Truth gives the heart and the soul true peace and contentment.

The rest of our worldly day to day life is all relative and ephemeral. The best example is my experience about 17 years of MR that seems to be totally different than my W’s. And the way I construct the memories of these 17 years in my brain is also a very subjective and relative process.

Same thing can be said of every encounter and conversation I still have with her. Different interpretations and perceptions.

[SteveLW]

This experience over the past 2 years have taught me so much. I am a totally different person now. I have a lot of scars, but I’m a lot wiser

Life is all about perceptions, although I also believe more strongly than ever in an Absolute Truth that transcends our senses and our subjective experiences. We can only experience this Spiritual Truth through our heart and by reading the words of God and prayers.

Surrendering and experiencing this Absolute Truth gives the heart and the soul true peace and contentment.

The rest of our worldly day to day life is all relative and ephemeral. The best example is my experience about 17 years of MR that seems to be totally different than my W’s. And the way I construct the memories of these 17 years in my brain is also a very subjective and relative process.

Same thing can be said of every encounter and conversation I still have with her. Different interpretations and perceptions.

Very well said.

[kiro]

Hi Steve,

I did consult with more than 1 lawyers several times and had the entire agreement reviewed by them. Overall, the agreement is actually quite good for me. I’ll be getting out of D with minimum damage. And I will have another consultation with my L before submitting the final amendments. I’m waiting for my L to call me back.

D is actually a quite complicated matter. I advise anyone going down this path to spend a few hours with a L to ask questions and understand the process before embarking in any discussions with S or mediators. It’s money well spent.

[kiro]

LH

What happened is actually quite funny and ironic. On Saturday, we had this long 2.5 hrs conversation. We ended the call in a very positive tone. Her final words were that she was open to the idea of seeing a therapist/counsellor and that we could leave things pending for now since we hadn’t yet filed any documents officially. She said she was really happy we had this conversation and we agreed that we will talk again to follow up.

All good so far, right?

Well, the next day (Sunday), she texted me asking if she could take an appointment with a new mediator to renegotiate the agreement implying that she wants more money. I texted back asking about previous day conversation.

Here is her answer

“what do you mean? I said I will think about it and get back to you.@

Everything else was back to exactly where we were before the 2.5 hrs conversation as if it never happened. It’s almost as if she had short term memory or some sort of memory loss disease or Schizophrenia.