It is really funny how on point the comments in this have been. Now that I'm saying "no" and showing indifference to her emotions she is getting furious. I'm expecting the crying to come anytime now.
I've been here searching for a silver bullet to stop the bleeding and fix things and am coming to the realization that a silver bullet does not exist.
There's nothing I can do to convince my WW to leave. If she wants a divorce, that's on her. She can do what she needs to do (using her Mommy's money). Until then, I just have to stay calm, use the detachment language and be patient.
All of these things are really easy to say, but hard to do.
I will continue to be strong. I will not give up in me.
I fell for the bait and switch. She convinced me to go talk w/ our Pastor. I thought she was doing this out of a place of honesty. Instead, she's using it as an opportunity for him to convince me to bend to her will and agree to a separation agreement.
I have said, I'm only going if you are interested in building trust again and piecing together a relationship from dust.
She said she would. She also asked that I sign a paper napkin that agreed to items re the kids. She also said that I have to agree that she will be allowed to still communicate w/ OM. I said I'm not signing anything and won't sign anything unless that guy is 100% out of the picture. Trust and honestly only works if it comes from a sincere place in the heart. She is looking to manipulate me into a situation that works for her (moving towards separation) while still getting to see her boyfriend.
I stink because I didn't shut up. I should have kept quiet. I'm so mad at myself.
