Hello everyone, I will outline my sitch and see if I can explain where I am . 1 year ago I checked out of my relationship with my woman . We have been together 7 years and I delayed getting married ( she wanted to ) I moved into the spare room and became increasingly detached from the world . I had a drink problem that got worse over time . 2 weeks ago I discovered my F was in a sexual relationship with a younger man . She says it is just a bit of fun ........ I haven’t touched a drop yet and went to the doctors and got referred to a specialist. She helped me and is supportive. I am due to meet the dependency clinic on Thursday. So for a year I have put this wonderful woman through hell and it is breaking my heart . All the usual, cannot eat , sleep , mind on this constantly . We have spent time together,even gone out twice to a restaurant. She says she has no loving feelings towards me and I agree . She reached out to me many times in the year from hell , but in the end I pushed her away
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Thanks very much for the acknowledgement and threads . I have been lurking a while and read through a lot of the links . I have DR and have been using some of the suggestions , but it is very hard
We have discussed selling up before BD and I just played lip service , she knew this also . She is scared of her financial future going forward . I made all the usual promises of change and how I would spoil her to make up
I asked for 2 weeks 1 week ago to give me a second chance . I know she has just said this so I won’t go back to drinking, but it has given me false hope
We have discussed selling up before BD and I just played lip service , she knew this also . She is scared of her financial future going forward . I made all the usual promises of change and how I would spoil her to make up
The problem I have is I was in effect a wah. So my 180 is listening to her , validating and supporting her BUT it is draining when I am distraught and she is conversing on her phone with her new friends she has made . I asked in the 2 weeks to not see OM whilst she decided. She said she was unwilling to give up something that makes her happy , which is fair enough
