WAW says I'm the "perfect husband and partner"

[Jamine]

And W's already sent a long winded text. She apologized for "freaking out" and said she's going to look into staying somewhere so I can have the house in may, and wants to set a goal for me to move out as memorial day. She also said that she wants to help each other transition after that...not really sure what that means.

I haven't replied to this yet. Going to take some time to think about it.

[Tryhard]

Why is she setting your goals ?

[Jamine]

She isn't. She tried to on the phone today, and I shut her down. I still haven't acknowledged the text message. I may just ignore it.

[Ready2Change]

Why is she setting your goals ?

I was about to ask the same question.

[Jamine]

Just to clarify, that was W's message to me after trying to do something similar on the phone. I outright rejected her telling me what to do on the phone today, and haven't responded to or acknowledged that message.

[Jamine]

The more that I read her last message, the more I realized that she didn't actually listen to me during our phone call. I feel like she thinks I'm just going to continue to be a pushover, she even mentioned "co-parenting" our dog if I stay in the area after D. I may stay in the area for a month or two in an apartment, but definitely not for a while.

How should I deal with this? I want to message her back telling her that she didn't listen to me, and these aren't her decisions to make, but I feel like that's not DBing... should I just continue to ignore the message, or should I tell her that I don't feel she was really listening to me in our last conversation, and maybe we should have a redo?

[ovrrnbw]

You say things simply, succinctly, and in a confident tone of voice:

"W, I will be staying in the home."

Don't discuss her not listening, how it's not her choice to make. She'll figure that part out on her own.

[Jamine]

I just got an email from W, she's looking at apartments now for when I come back home and wants to know if I'll help with that financially. She also told me now that "5 weeks is too long" referring to initial memorial day move out assumption, and that "3 weeks would be better".

I replied that I did not agree to any dates to move, and that I need more time to think about this.

[Jamine]

And...she's already emailed me back. She says that she knows exactly how things will be when I move back in, and that it isn't healthy for us to coexist in a house together.

We haven't even gotten halfway through our "trial separation" and she's rushing every step. How do I reply to this?

[Ready2Change]

And...she's already emailed me back. She says that she knows exactly how things will be when I move back in, and that it isn't healthy for us to coexist in a house together.

We haven't even gotten halfway through our "trial separation" and she's rushing every step. How do I reply to this?

H:"W, I agree. The way we have been interacting in not healthy for us. I am sorry. I wish things were different"