Persistent Endurance (Part 2)

[curtis7]

Read all of the threads here:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2831362

Reading through some of these now, this one struck me based on her verbal attack on me last night:

Your very best move here from a psychological perspective is to completely go the other way. You leave her versus her leaving you. Don't accept anything she's telling you about this being your fault, just outright reject it. Don't compromise on that, don't think you'll be a nice guy and meet in the middle, feel free to make her angry. She needs to believe that you consider yourself to be more valuable than the treatment you've been getting.

[curtis7]

I’ve been spending a lot of time contemplating what action I should take next. I’m leaning against boxing her stuff right now, I don’t want the kids to be exposed to that and have to answer their questions. Unlike my W, I’m not comfortable lying to my children. Speaking of which, my S asked if BFF’s D was still sick. My W said “Wait...what???” Then, she remembered that was the lie she told my kids as the reason they couldn’t go to BFF’s place when my W went off to her PA. Then she said, “Oh, she’s still very sick.”

I’ve gone dark towards her with virtually no contact (kids only) since her verbal attack on me over the phone on the way to her PA two days ago. She hasn’t attempted contacting me either. I doubt she’s picked up on how disrespected I felt that was, probably too late to tell her, I should have taken a stand as it was occurring.

I’ve spent all week with the kids while they are on Spring Break. We went to the driving range/putting green on Monday. I spent yesterday burning several trees that I had cut down over the past few months in the horse pasture. Today was spent with more quality time playing games with kids and tree trimming.

My only interaction with WW was small talk about her nails last night and her mentioning that a mutual friend might get a new puppy. Also, tonight she commented on my haircut from a few days ago and pointed out that the stylist missed a few hairs in the back. She got the scissors out and trimmed them for me.

She is staying at our house tonight because I plan to work tomorrow. I was dressed nicely when she got home and fed the kids. She asked if I was going out tonight and I said yep. I left shortly after to treat myself to a nice dinner followed by a trip to the gym.

I’m continuing to read stories of other DBers and recommended threads.

[curtis7]

Out enjoying myself with GAL tonight, W sends texts.
W: “I need to ask a question and I hope you will respond truthfully and quickly. ”
W: “Are you on a date? ”
W: “Totally okay if you are. Just curious. “
H: “No. I haven't given up on us”
Right or wrong response?

[LH19]

Family Fued X buzzer. Wrong answer!

Interpretation

W: Are you still my plan B
H: yes I’m still your plan B

No response required. Get up and dust yourself off.

[Ready2Change]

Better response:


H"No. The last thing I need in my life is another woman to make things even more complicated."

[Ready2Change]

She is projecting. She wants to justify her actions.

[curtis7]

Family Fued X buzzer. Wrong answer!

Interpretation

W: Are you still my plan B
H: yes I’m still your plan B

No response required. Get up and dust yourself off.

Yep, blew that one, right after piquing her curiosity.

[Ready2Change]

Remember, nothing needs a quick response.

You can always get feedback here first.

[curtis7]

She is projecting. She wants to justify her actions.

Agreed, if I was on a date, then she would feel better about setting up her next hookup.

[curtis7]

Since she is back from divorced BFF’s for tonight, she thought she was going to sleep in the MBR. She was sitting on a chair in the MBR texting someone nonstop. I walked in and said I need to go to sleep. She gave me a scowl, got up and walked out without saying a word.