Last night, I felt her staring at me frequently. I went about my business, continue with my GAL house activities and investing in the kiddos. Our routine prior to BD would be to shower together. Last night before bed, she asked...are you going to hop in the shower tonight? I said, yes, I am a little sticky after Jiu-Jitsu and an afternoon run. She said cool, turned on the bathroom heather and turned on the shower. I brushed my teeth and hopped in. As usual, she has an entire routine before getting in. I was in there a good 5-7 minutes and had finished my shower. I hopped out and dried myself off. She kinda gave me this sideways glance. She then asked a question when she jumped in. I was pleasant, laughed, and was engaged with her...but moved on to bed where I started reading. I asked how her shower was and we exchanged small talk. I went back to reading. As I was falling asleep I put my book down. She turned off the light, rolled over, put her hand on my chest and said, I love you babe. I told her ILYtoo and went to sleep.
This is not standard protocol. She said ILY for maybe the 2nd time wince BD. AND, I think that was the second time she touched me for the day (the 1st was questionable as I got a new pullover and she said it looks so comfy and ran her hand up and down my arm).
This morning, I certainly engaged with her asking how she slept, etc. She asked about what I had planned today and I asked her in return. There is something a bit different here. It feels like she is looking at me more, wanting more conversation, etc. She hasn't said that explicitly for sure. However, she also asked if I was leaving the M last week. Should I be doing something differently? Should I be engaging with her more? Should I start showing more affection? I am NOT giving up my GALing...having too much fun. I want to give her space and I want her to come to me. However, one of the reasons for the BD was that I didn't initiate enough, etc. (you guys know the story). Thanks for any input!
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
Should I be doing something differently? Should I be engaging with her more? Should I start showing more affection?
I would say no to those things, just keep doing exactly what you've been doing. It is clearly working so you don't want to change anything up for now. If you get aggressive with her then it's likely to send her running. Keep playing it cool! Remember Michele says to celebrate the baby steps but do it INTERNALLY.
I am aligned with AS and LH. It appears to be working, why would you change a thing?? Keep up what works!
I will say, that I knew my W was back completely after she starting saying ILY again. Keep expectations low. Don't dwell on it. But certainly take note of changes.
You got this!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks guys! Appreciate the guidance and support. I really like where I am. I do miss the physical affection, but enjoying where we are in the R and my GAL.
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
Thanks guys! Appreciate the guidance and support. I really like where I am. I do miss the physical affection, but enjoying where we are in the R and my GAL.
In my experience, once the ILYs start, the return of physical affection isn't far behind. Unless her ILYs are in sincere (and they could be), but I find that most WAWs that aren't completely wayward do not tend to be that manipulative. In my case, my W wasn't going to say "ILY" unless she meant it because she didn't want to give me "false" hope. Most WAWs follow that line of thinking.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks Steve. Although you never know in these situations what is truly going on...but my W is not manipulative by nature, hates insincerity, and has been very transparent throughout this process (especially in MC where she clearly feels “safer”. With that being said, I will continue what I’m doing and not generate any expectations or timeline.
Thanks again. Always means a ton having someone on your side and giving you support.
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
Something just feels off. I don't know what it is... Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just ok with whatever way this turns out. I never thought I'd be here...focusing on me, gaining my own happiness, not needing her so that I can get through my day. I even have been thinking about where I would potentially move if we end up apart. It's interesting for sure, and will be interesting to see how it all turns out. How I come out on the other side. Different for sure...
Weird little comment from the W at dinner. The 5 of us were sitting around the table talking about S11. He'll be an only child for 5 years after D18 leaves this summer and S16 leaves in 2 years. The two older ones commented about what it'll be like with just him. W says, "Screw that, he'll be able to fend for himself...me and daddy will be traveling all over the place." She started laughing...I laughed and just added an inside joke about the piano teacher staying with him the whole time. First time I've heard her talk about the future more than a couple weeks out.
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
