Hit by the dreaded ILYBNILWY part 2

[mikeyb]

Original thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2834746&page=1

Quick Recap:

M: 31 W: 29
Married 2yrs together 12

W: Works overnights
M Worked Overnights until 10/18, then to days

Lived with room mates 2 1/2 years, moved to our own place 11/17. W best friend moved in with us with 2 kids
Watched W best friends kids every weekend until 1/19
Went into depression being unhappy with my living situation, not getting quality time with my W due to opposite schedules and weekends consumed with the best friends kids, and my own insecurities
Spent money I shouldn't have during this time, ended up behind on bills, truck repossessed 10/18 redeemed 2 days later.
Started to make changes to get out of how I felt in 9/18 by going to days for more time with the W, dentist over my insecurities.
MIL took over finances to help us out.

11/23/18 BD ILYBINILWY/Divorce
Agreed to work on things by separating in house. Lasted 2 days then W was back in MBR with me.
late 12/18 find out she had no intent to work on things, she apologized for leading me on and said it was wrong. Same behavior continued for about 3 weeks.

After about 3 weeks W started sleeping in guest room again, then a few days later took the rings off.

Not a whole lot between then and February.
early 3/19 W and I discussed taking over bills and came up with a plan together.
3/10/19 W approaches me with papers to file for Simplified dissolution of marriage.
3/11/19 W wants to abandon our plan to take back control of finances and keep the MIL involved but with W managing it. I oppose this. I told her I would not contribute to filing for D, she says she is going to move out and I said do what you feel you need to. She gave no timeline on when she will but she knows financially I can't afford where we are at on my own.

And here I am now. Continuing everything I have done the last 4 months for myself.

[mikeyb]

Today she came to me about the filing paperwork again asking if I was going to fill them out. I said no, if this is what you want then you need to fill them out. She said I can't fill out your stuff, I said yes you can and anything you need I will give you to do it. She continued to fight me on it. But I stood firm, and said you fill it out with what you propose and I will review it and tell you anything I don't agree with.

She finally said, fine I will do it then and that was that. It was very hard for me to do it but I did. She also said she plans to move out in 2 months and will give the landlord notice at the beginning of may (our lease is month to month) I also told her I will be taking back my paycheck. She fought me on it and said I was going to screw her over. I said how else do you expect me to save money if I don't see any of my paycheck, besides $150 to get me back and forth to work.

So ya, there's where I'm at now. Still working to do what I need to and GAL, if she comes with the papers filled out I will do exactly as I said and go from there.

[ovrrnbw]

When my W asks the same question, I've stopped repeating the answer and gone to: "W, we discussed this already. You remember, right?"

There's nothing wrong with you separating your finances either. Now just get out and get busy. How many hours are you working right now?

[mikeyb]

When my W asks the same question, I've stopped repeating the answer and gone to: "W, we discussed this already. You remember, right?"

There's nothing wrong with you separating your finances either. Now just get out and get busy. How many hours are you working right now?

I'm working 40 hours a week. Finances are now separated I took back control of my money. I spoke with the MIL about this and why. She had no idea the W had papers already or planned to move so she agreed with my decision to take back my money and said it is the right move to make. She knows I will be in a tight spot to come up with the money I need in such a short time.

[Tryhard]

Can you put I any extra hours for more cash ? Showing you have your finances wired tight and improving things is going to be a big attractive element I think. Do you agree ?

[mikeyb]

Can you put I any extra hours for more cash ? Showing you have your finances wired tight and improving things is going to be a big attractive element I think. Do you agree ?

I wish I could put more hrs in. But they are not offering any overtime right now. When they were I did take it. I was also ubering/Lyft driving in the weekends but now the W is throwing a fit that I always have her car and she won't allow me to use it on the weekends so that gig is gone.

I do have an app that I wrote that brings in some extra income every month, but that income varies greatly from $50-$300

On to the latest: The W and her best friend went out last night to do a bar crawl (even though we don't have the money to do so, she said her friend paid for it all, she also doesn't have the money to do so she should be focused on getting her and her 2 kids a better place to stay with heat/hot water. But whatever, irritates me because we spent money to pay her gas in the house, diapers for her kid etc. and that helped contribute to this sitch I'm in) and now tonight they are gonna be here watching movies. So I'm going to go out to see captain marvel. I got a movie theater that is 2 mins up the road but I'm gonna get a Uber up there so I can have a few drinks and just relax and enjoy the movie. I'll be by myself but I'll enjoy it.

[Tryhard]

Cool mike , sounds like you are doing well . Writing an app sounds ultra geeky cool. I am going to guess you ain’t the gym type . Why not do something out of your comfort zone ? I hope you are still getting on with the kids , maybe take them out one time ?

[mikeyb]

Cool mike , sounds like you are doing well . Writing an app sounds ultra geeky cool. I am going to guess you ain’t the gym type . Why not do something out of your comfort zone ? I hope you are still getting on with the kids , maybe take them out one time ?

When I say kids I am referring to her friends kids. Together we have no children, we were trying for a year up untill BD. As for the gym, I was going for about a month but had to cut it out of my finances at the time. I plan to pick it back up in the future.

And for the app, ya I just had an idea about 2 1/2 years ago and just went with it. Sitting at about 500K downloads and was even featured on the windows store. It's been a hobbie of mine to write code so to have some income from it is even better.

[Tryhard]

Yes I did mean the friends kids. I am in awe of you writing a successful app. I want to ask more but don’t as it would identify you . Sounds like you are moving the right way . Keep it up dood

[mikeyb]

Yes I did mean the friends kids. I am in awe of you writing a successful app. I want to ask more but don’t as it would identify you . Sounds like you are moving the right way . Keep it up dood

Yes I still get along with the kids very well. They love me to death and I love them just as much. I've been a big part of their life for the last 1 1/2 years. Going through all this does kind of suck from that stand point as I won't see them anymore. Occasionally I do watch them but not as often as I used to. Anyway, I'm going to get heading to the movie theater. Decided to walk there and save $6 grab a bite to eat, have a few drinks, and uber back after the movie.