Hi Ginger - glad you are getting comfortable with your choice and that M is being supportive. You'll be in my thoughts when you go in for surgery.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think, if you're going to be worried about them or even about just the possibility of having to redo them at a later date (definitely a possibility, they were not really designed to last 50 years) then you'll be happier just having them out.
I really thought at first when they switched to saline implants that the problems I used to see in patients would go away but there can be issues with them too, and this cancer associated with some of the textured ones is scary. Even more scary is just the fact that they don't track these things - they really don't know if that cancer incidence is one in 3,000 or one in 30,000 for instance. The whole medical implant business is a mess and we don't regulate them well. (Take for example the Essure fallopian tube springs as a substitute for getting your tubes ties - what moron thought making them with nickel was a reasonable idea? Don't they know how many women are allergic to nickel - and how many of them don't understand that they are, but just think they get "infections" when they wear cheap earrings?).
M is continuing to be an even more stand up guy. My dad is suffering horribly from prostatits and hasn’t had releif in 2 weeks and isn’t expected to have it for at least 2 more. The kind of pain that destroys my dad? In his manhood, and that is killing him right now. He is taking me to surgery andncoming Thursday night but really wants to go home Friday night but I need to have someone with me. So I asked M and he said “of course” he just seems like all of a sudden like a super commuted boyfriend. And very loving. He says it a lot now. And is showing it again. It’s interesting.
I’m getting used to my boobs being gone. I realize how much I really never paid attention to them anyways. They aren’t making a huge difference in my world like this right now. I rarely show cleavage when I dress, I’m a pretty modest dresser. Once in a while I dress it up a little sexy, but not all that often. And sexy can be worn in many different ways. One compliment my ex would lend me was that I managed to dress sexy with class.
Work has been kicking my butt. I work hard long days. But my days fly by and I adore my coworkers. I’ll hopefully find some balance soon.
Off to AC tomorrow! One of my friend’s husband is leaving her. They have a long sordid story, but he fell in love with a coworker and now he’s moving out into his own apartment and they just told the kids. She’s gonna need some TLC this weekend.
Big week coming up, so I’m gonna live it up this weekend!
M really sounds like a great guy Ginger. He’s doing all the right things.
You are a beatiful girl. You have absolutely gorgeous eyes..the kind people photograph in magazines. I know I am not a guy, but I prefer smaller boobs. I miss my body pre pregnancy when I did not even have to wear a bra. I felt like I looked more chic and better in going out clothes cause no need for straps. Plus it’s so much easier to go running and exercise. I see all these aging women that get this cosmetic surgery on their faces so their eyes have this squinty look and it just makes them all look the same. I don’t find it attractive - to me it just looks obvious and false and I don’t understand why they want to look like that. I think it’s important to stay fit but equally important to embrace what makes you unique. It’s the confidence that is attractive.
Juju, thank you so much. You are a stunning woman yourself!
Accepting my physical self has always been difficult as I was a true ugly duckling growing up. I came around to accepting I am attractive even though I am not thin, I’m curvy and can be muscular. That’s my frame and I’ve learned to appreciate my unique look. I think I feel I’m not looking good, because I’m not feeling good.
I look forward to returning to exercise when I’m healed. And maybe be smaller on top will enhance my workouts . I need to get my eating completely under control.
I had a great weekend woth my girls. Got a little drunk, but not too drunk and played black jack for quite some time and didn’t lose. A young guy sat next to me at the table. Good looking. Beautiful wife and beautiful kid( he showed me a pic) I think he was flirting with me though. Maybe I still do have it, lol! But my heart and my mind remains in one place and that is with M. When this guy was flirting ( and he was very attractive) all I could think about was M. I think that’s a part of love.
Speaking of M. He was possibly going to come over tonight after he dropped his son off. Honestly, we haven’t been intimate in 3 weeks. No alone time. And the one night last Wednesday, I had my monthly visitor so he got his and I did not get mine. and now we won’t see each other until after my surgery and I’ll be out of commission for at least a week in that department. So tonight was our last night , plus I hate waiting over a week in between seeing each other but it is what it is.
Anyways, he got in a fender bender which was his fault going to drop off his son. He’s fine, his son is fine, his car is drivable, but there is some damage to the front. He cancelled coming over ( he could have, he just chose not to) I was seriously upset. Just sad about it. But he was just beating himself up so bad over this, you can tell he just needed to be alone woth this and wouldn’t have been feeling so sexy. I was just heartbroken for some reason he wasn’t coming over. I just miss him a lot. And it’s not the physical act of sex. It’s the intimacy of it that I am missing so much. And I just hate how little we get to see each other . But I listened to him vent. Was supportive and validating. He told me he loves me to the moon and back. I know he is in it. And he has really proven that as of late.so I guess I just have to hang on tight, get through this surgery And we will have our time. I promised him a very special weekend that is my treat. I guess this is real relationship stuff. And he is in it. I’m very happy for that. Big huge week ahead. I am soooooo busy it’s ridic getting ready for this surgery. But I can do it, I know I can
Busier than busy can be. Work has been absolutely insane, 9-10 hour days and passing out when I get home. Today is my first day I got out on time and had energy after work. D11 has a new friend over. Me, D11, M and our dogs were supposed to go to a park today and go for a nice walk. I have D all week until tomorrow night which is night before surgery. He had to cancelmfor a good reason and he felt so bad. He said maybe one day next week when he has his Son, we could all go together. First time offering up week time with his son.
He’s been unbelievably amazing. Incredibly loving, supportive, and helpful. He’s been like superboyfriend. And it’s awesome . He’ll be coming Friday after work . He will be seeing me at my worst. And if he sticks around after that.... that’s a good sign, lol.
Still dealing with some body image issues, but I’m working on it. But I’m dealing with them.
I was sprinting around the yard with the dog for some exercise and I didn’t have big heavy boobs when I ran. It actually felt good! So I guess that is a positive!
I'm terrible with my memory lately so I can't remember if your surgery was yesterday or if it is today, but either way, I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Thinking of you and hoping that the surgery went well.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Tha k you for the well wishes! I am spent and posting to Andrew aactually took a lot out of me.
Everyone said my results were excellent ( nurses and doctor) the anesthesiologist said I was the best patient. My pain isn’t awful. And I seem to just have small perky breasts. And I am ok woth that. I have a feeling bras will be unnecessary thisnummer with my strappy sundresses! Downside is I ended up with drains which I was expecting. I can’t take a real shower until they come out on Tuesday and I am scared my crazy dog will yank them out. The ex may take the dog for a night for me. He actually told me i can do an additional procedure which takes fat from one area of the body and puts it in my breasts to increase fullness. He was going to do it today if he could , but since I had the draining pockets he’s have to wait until they healed else they would work . But he seemd really happy as it was. I just like that I have options.
I am at peace with my choice.
M has went back to standoffish last night. I won’t even get into it. Clearly his issue. It upset me though. And I’m typically G fashion , I come out of surgery worrying about his reaction. And checked on HIM. I did come out of the surgical center woth a “praying for you 😘😘😘” text
I yelled at myself, Blamed it on anesthesia, lol, and I have decided to just focus on my healing.
