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Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I've implored the 180 and Last resort and been the best chill person I can. Getting stuff done around the house normal chores and taking care of the kids and a bit more and been conflict free for almost 3 week.
Now i'm seeing her mildly pissed off like Mort said I might bc I'm ruining her thought pattern of what she thought I would stay like. I'm not persuing or starting relationship convo's . But I feel Sunday she tried to bait me into an argument bring up moving on and apartments and space.
I stayed cool and told her "you need to do what you need to do" We ended the night by her going to the spare bedroom and all was cool with just a "good night" to each other.
Monday night she could have stayed at the house but decided to come for the walk with the dog and then Tuesday night offers to get me cookies and milk before we watch our DVR'd shows.
Thoughts? Is she reacting to the pull back or being nice to set me up for a bomb?
Still no papers after being threatened weeks ago maybe even 2 months ago that "if you want the process to go faster then you do it" . I responded I don't want any of this except to make it better and work on it.
I guess no papers is good news and I'll just keep on keeping on and DB'ing do my best 180 and killing her with kindness and household responsibilities.
Be very careful with the killing her with kindness and chore responsibilities. You don't want to come off as a beta male man servant. Concentrate more on be busy by getting out and being mysterious.
Keep your expectations at zero. Usually when you take the pressure off it slows the process down.
Remember, limbo, while it is torturous, is the gift of time! She could have filed immediately, and be rushing towards S and D. When that doesn't happen, view it as a second chance! And you are spot on with your approach. DB. 180s. Be kind in the face of her anger. Forge ahead. Many vets here say: hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Now its looking a bit more like Bi Polar of some level. It does run in the family (brother was diagnosed with it)
Where do I go from here? I'm going to see our GP tonight so he can say I'm all good with my current dosage of Zoloft and Clanazapan (both are being taking bc of this marital turmoil).
But I'm going to bring up her moods and symptoms again. She has seen another doc in the practice and I'm her HIPPA contact so hopefully we can work out a plan.
Now its looking a bit more like Bi Polar of some level. It does run in the family (brother was diagnosed with it)
Where do I go from here? I'm going to see our GP tonight so he can say I'm all good with my current dosage of Zoloft and Clanazapan (both are being taking bc of this marital turmoil).
But I'm going to bring up her moods and symptoms again. She has seen another doc in the practice and I'm her HIPPA contact so hopefully we can work out a plan.
Thoughts?
Are you trying to fix her to help her? Or are you trying to fix her to save your marriage?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
