I understand i will earn my respect back. But I feel like it’s too late in the game. With her buying me out. The house could be hers in a month. Then I have to be out. Since I moved out she has felt some pressure. I posted about how she locked herself out of the house and basically had a nervous breakdown. She has complained to me already how she has to do everything around the house. Like you said I was basically her butler for a long time, now she has to take responsibility.
Last edited by Wolfman; 04/02/1905:22 PM.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
If I remember right, you said you moved out for your own sanity, and it had nothing to do with buying you out. It was until we all told you to move back in that you brought up the buy out. WAWs/WWs are notorious for not following through. I have a feeling that we'll be voting in the next presidential election before she ever buys you out.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
2 things. Steve you said they are notorious for not following through. My w has followed through on everything so far. She found the mediator, made all the appointments, brought him money yesterday to start the paperwork. She does not back down or slow down.
Ready2change you even agree it is most likely over too. Me moving in is going to enrage her, she will feel disrespected, and not be a good environment for my kids. If this was a few months ago, or if we haven’t even gone to a mediator then I would be moving back in today. Unless I am truly missing something please tell me? I don’t she will look at me with respect because I moved in, she will look at it as he doesn’t listen he is doing whereever he wants again.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Stop BSing yourself you are being ruled by fear. My ex filed in March 2017 and everything was finalized and she moved out in July 2018. Are you going to live with your parents for the next 1-18 months? Are you still paying the bills?
2 things. Steve you said they are notorious for not following through. My w has followed through on everything so far. She found the mediator, made all the appointments, brought him money yesterday to start the paperwork. She does not back down or slow down.
Well, sometimes that's the case. We see a lot of sitches here and most of them have a lot in common but no two are exactly identical. Most of the time if you remove all pressure the WAS will back off the D, but there are cases where they are full steam ahead no matter what. Wolf, for now I would suggest staying where you are and seeing how things shake out. If she does indeed proceed then you will have to be out soon anyway. But if she suddenly puts it into neutral, then you might go ahead and move back because then you would have a reason (IE, if she doesn't file then you don't get your settlement and you can't afford your own place).
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Me moving in is going to enrage her, she will feel disrespected, and not be a good environment for my kids. If this was a few months ago, or if we haven’t even gone to a mediator then I would be moving back in today. Unless I am truly missing something please tell me? I don’t she will look at me with respect because I moved in, she will look at it as he doesn’t listen he is doing whereever he wants again.
You are correct. She will rant and rave and try to make you miserable. Deep inside she might have a kernel of respect for you, but yeah, outwardly she'll never show that.
It's interesting that you did so much of the housework. Usually when a WAS goes AWOL that's one of their standard excuses. Yours is an excellent example of how someone can be a dutiful husband doing all the heavy lifting around the house and STILL get BD'd, which just kind of shows that they're just looking for excuses to justify BD. If you did ABC then you got BD'd because you didn't XYZ, and vice versa.
she will look at it as he doesn’t listen he is doing what ever he wants again.
So???
You are doing what is right for your kids.
W:Angry"H, bla bla bla ba WHY ARE YOU HERE!!!!! bla bla bla" H:calmly holding eye contact "I believe it is best that I stay here" W:"Bla bla bla" H:"I understand you feel that way" walk away into Master bed room" W"BLA BAL BLA #$^%@# BLA BLA $#($Q# BLA BLA $#q#$&!!!!!!" H"I like it in here. You are free to sleep where ever you want" W"BLA BAL BLA #$^%@# BLA BLA $#($Q# BLA BLA $#q#$&!!!!!!" H"I an sorry you feel that way" W"BLA BAL BLA #$^%@# BLA BLA $#($Q# BLA BLA $#q#$&!!!!!!" H"It must be hard to feel that way" W"BLA BAL BLA #$^%@# BLA BLA $#($Q# BLA BLA $#q#$&!!!!!!" H"I will have to think about that" W"BLA BAL BLA #$^%@# BLA BLA $#($Q# BLA BLA $#q#$&!!!!!!" H"I have not decided"
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
It's interesting that you did so much of the housework. Usually when a WAS goes AWOL that's one of their standard excuses. Yours is an excellent example of how someone can be a dutiful husband doing all the heavy lifting around the house and STILL get BD'd, which just kind of shows that they're just looking for excuses to justify BD. If you did ABC then you got BD'd because you didn't XYZ, and vice versa.
Depends on how it is done. I did 90% of the housework prior to BD. But I did it very passive-aggressively, muttering the whole time. Angrily even. Before she went wayward, she come into the kitchen when I was cleaning it, loudly and angrily, and she be like "stop, I will do it!" And I would say "Nope, you had your chance!" (She is a SAHM.)
So yes, while I did a lot around the house it wasn't done in a happy, constructive way.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
