MLC partner ? opinions plz ? - long post apology

[MrBrside]

Curtis,

In my case, life moves on and I’m just making the most of what I have.

WW is still with OM, and this has affected my children. I don’t ask any questions, but he is there a lot, and I gather she ignores them when he is.

Little unsettling the other day when I pulled up at the WWs house to drop my girls off on a Sunday night at 7pm ( WW hadn’t seen them since Friday AM ) and OMs car was there. My Eldest ( 7 ) saw the car and said “oh xxx is here again” – To which my middle daughter ( 5) replied “I really want to kill him.. She then told my eldest that they could smash his head with a stick because she hates him”.. And if she killed him mummy and daddy could get married. Eldest then chipped in said she hates it when he is there.. I was literally dropping them off at this point and didn’t know what to say / how to respond.. So said nothing. I don’t mention their mum / him to my girls and never ask about homelife, but it is interesting how much children pick up on and process.. Not mentioned to the WW as there is no point.. She would turn it on me.

Whatever happened had an impact on my 5 year old, as WW rang me the next day accusing me of being a crap dad for not realising she was poorly as she wasn’t right when she got home.. Nose bleeds and wouldn’t sleep. I refused to get into it, didn’t mention the comments daughter had made about the OM and stated the fact that she was in high spirits when she was with me an hour before.. then sent WW a WhatsApp picture of my 5 year old smiling with her cousin 43 minutes prior to the 7pm drop-off.. That ended the conversation / accusations. I suspect that my 5 years old got worked up / upset with him being there, but again its out of my control.

Met the OM for the first time the other day.. I say met – I dropped my youngest off at 8.30am before taking the other 2 to school and he was there, so he came out with WW and said Hi to me.. I just said hi back.. Again, I don’t blame this guy for this Sitch, so left them to it..

Also found out that the WW went out on Saturday for a girls night and left OM to babysit the youngest for the night.

Re your question about how it gets better for detachment. You just crack on with life and enjoy what you can control. While my WW was living in our home, I saw her every day - there are the lies, the deceit, the sneaking about, the nastiness – Her frustrations that she was stuck in a house with me, but wanted to be with him. There was never any nice conversation.. Just a desperation on her part to escape ( coupled with the stress of buying a house, and she doesn’t handle stress well )

Once the WW was gone, you see it less and begin to stop even thinking about it. I can honestly say if it weren’t for the children, I would never see my WW again and block all types of communication. Re my attitude towards the WW and how I interact.. my thought process is to think of her as just another parent in the kids playground who you have heard nasty rumours about ( for arguments sake, let’s say a thief or petty drug dealer) .. i.e. consensus is they aren’t a nice person… With this thought process, its easy to apply to day to day interactions. If I was dropping my children off at school, I would say hi to any parent who acknowledges me, even a thief / dealer. Would I strike up a conversation with a thief or drug dealer… Hell no never.. Would I want a thief or drug dealer stepping into my house.. Not a chance. Thinking like this makes it easier to keep the conversation to a minimum and stops the past “nice” memories from clouding judgment and restrains me from striking up normal conversation like she wants ( I’ll come to that in a sec ) - . In my eyes this isn’t a nice person I am speaking to here. My partner of 8 years is gone.. Ive seen made examples on the board – “on holiday, in a coma, dead” – either way, I don’t know her.. All’s that’s left is a selfish lying and deceitful individual.. So I will treat it as such – ie polite but I have no intention of being what we were..

As for me.. I’m making the most of the free time when I am not with the girls. I have 2 classic cars that have been neglected / gathering dust for years ( since I met the WW ).. So I’ve built a spray booth in my garage, and the plan is to get these on the road. I’ve done a lot of jobs in the house.. I painted the girls bedrooms a few weeks back, so they love them. Garden and exterior are well maintained now and look smart. I have always done the “gym” thing, but really I just maintained to keep off the middle age spread… Gone were the days of getting bigger and I got complaisant when I got with the WW.. Never Fat or out of shape, but never focused . I’ve started to watch my diet and increased my protein intake from 80g to 240gs a day, so seem good improvements there in 4 weeks.
I have also changed back to me before the WW.. Lots of new clothes ( nothing expensive, but new ) , always wear nice aftershave, haircut every 4 weeks, Car is always clean and tidy etc – I now have time for this, and I don’t have her spending killing the bank account.

My main enjoyment though is my girls. I will be honest and say they are very hard work and mischievous. My ex never really liked to do much as a family as she found it stressful ( her stress boundaries were at a different scale to mine ) – an example is making pizza from scratch – that sent her over the edge once because of the mess of the dough. Or on Halloween.. Doing the pumpkin was “stress” because of the mess it left on the table before it got cleaned. Trips to the local park were ok.. Trips further afield in the car rarely happened as she didn’t like the girls arguing / being kids in the car. It stressed her out, hence she never wanted to do these things.. Holidays were a sore subject and she dreaded them. Looking back, she lay on the lounge sun lounger for the majority while I was in the pool. So two of my girls are on cloud 9, as we are doing loads of stuff together and lots of day trips. My 5 year old is fine once she is out with us, and enjoys herself - but has no enthusiasm to go anywhere a lot of the time, as she just wants to “watch TV”.. This is a serious problem in my opinion, but that’s all she does at her mums house.. So I’m trying to figure out how to handle this. It also frustrates the other 2 as they just want to go out for the day and they love coming to dads and doing things as a change from “the TV” which they get at their mums. I took them to Wales for a week in May and they loved it and we have done a couple of day trips to the beach since then.. So they are happy girls – Although they are becoming addicted to 2p slot machines. Again, what I find interesting is perceptions even at a young age.. My youngest ( 2 nearly 3 ) asked me the other day why daddy takes them to places but mummy doesn’t.


Back to the WW like I mentioned above. The fact I keep any correspondence to a minimum obviously frustrates her, but at the same time gives her nothing to argue about or try and use against me. This board has taught me a lot, especially about how to handle my WW.. So I don’t give in inch.
I keep texts to a bare minimum and only reply to what I consider valid questions that warrant a reply. Over the last 20 messages, 16 are her, 4 are my replies.. I tend just to ignore anything unless it’s a valid child related question, that’s actually necessary / relevant. She often texts asking “ are the girls ok” on my weekends, to which I ignore. If there was an issue, I would let her know. So again, in my eyes its unneeded small talk, which I have no intention of getting into. Again, I know this frustrates her, but If I’m with my girls, why would I waste my quality time replying to her.

Re her attitude to me - When she first moved out, it was weird.. she kept asking me to facetime the children on her nights, but would try and spend more time chatting to me than my children. I don’t give her that chance now. When she comes around to collect the girls there is ALWAYS a compliment which I totally ignore ( she is always left on the door step ).. She always has something to say – “ooh your house looks spotless” – “is that a new t shirt, its lovely” – “hmm you smell really nice.. is that a new aftershave?” – “you’ve had your hair cut, it looks nice” – “The plants in the front garden look beautiful in bloom” – etc…. I always ignore what she says, and I know It annoys her, as she often says “did you not hear me, I said xxx”
This is the norm now. On Saturday she told me how well the T shirt I was wearing fitted me – I ignored.. So I got “did you not hear me.. I was just saying how well that t-shirt fits you” – On Sunday she commented that I was wearing that new aftershave that she liked – totally ignored her on both occasions.
She also constantly asks me if I would like to “facetime” tonight.. even on days when I have seen my girls ( i.e. they leave mine at 10am on the Saturday morning) . Wondering if this is her checking what I am doing in the evenings.
Maybe she is just being nice, maybe she just wants to be civil, maybe it’s a temp check.. I’d rather she just got the girls and went TBH. – Maybe the Vets have an opinion on this ?

But like I said in my previous post, the best thing to come out of all of this is the quality time with my girls and the things that I have learnt / learning on this new journey.
Sandi posted about WW / WAW / MLC in another post and mentioned the heart hardening. My WW made very emotional decisions / demands. As a partner ( I highlighted this I my initial post ) I always pointed out why the emotional decision was not logical / practical / sensible. Reading up on this, I suspect my lack of validation and pointing out the logic instead had an impact on her heart / feelings towards me, regardless of if my intentions were always for the good of the family. – I need to remember this in a future relationship.
The biggest learning curve is how to be that better father. I may have not chosen this route, but I will make the most of it, and ensure I don’t make the mistakes the WW is making. The girls will never see me in bed with another woman a week after I introduce them, the girls will have quality time with me and not “me and my partner while I ignore them” and I won’t spend my time with them glued to the phone, when with them.. Even if I meet somebody eventually, kids come first.
Red flags are another big thing for me. I mentioned this in a reply to “Vik11” yesterday. I know from my own experience that when your head is “in love” rational goes out of the window. I also mentioned in my initial post - I ignored some old inappropriate messages to her boss – They were way before we got together, but in hindsight it showed she wasn’t the nice person she proclaimed to be… Her morals and mine differed and I ignored it due to the “new love buzz”. I wont make that mistake again, and I wont date a lady who ignores her own children to spend time with me.

[MrBrside]

Hi again,

looking for a little advice on how to handle a call from the WW..

As i mentioned on my last post, the split has affected my 5 year old more than the other 2. She just wants to watch TV and has just gone into her shell.. She really has changed from confident and outgoing last year.

WW has noticed this as well to a degree.

I was going to take all 3 of my girls to Majorca in a month for a week. Last night D5 said she wanted to stay with WW, but i havent seen WW to discuss..

Get a text this AM.

WW: Hiya, can we chat later tonight about girls, summer holidays and things.

Me: would rather text and not sure what you mean by "things"

WW: We need to discuss summer holidays. I also think *D5* can sense you dont like me and she keeps saying we arent friends. Its bothering her.

WW: You got 5 mins now

I didnt reply to the last 2 messages - so she called me anyway...

So in her mind we need to show the kids how we like each other and we are still friends. Her suggestion is that we start doing things as a family together !!!!! (yes WTF !!! ) - An example she gave was "lets all go the park together this weekend".. The girls will then see that we are friends and they will be happier.

I shot this down and point blank refused. Kept the conversation short and just said i didnt want to speak to her full stop - and at the park, and the girls would see this so it would solve nothing - and even if she came the park, i wouldnt be near her anyway, as when at the park i would be interacting with the girls... Not playing happy families with her .

She didnt want to accept this and says its what we should do - and she will call me tonight and discuss further.

I am clear in my mind about this.. I dont want to spend 10 seconds in her company, let alone a park trip.. BUT just mentioned to a person at work who says i need to think about my girls and do this for them.. Let them see mummy and daddy happy together etc.. This really doesnt sit well with me, as i think it will be all fake.

Anybody else been here? thoughts / suggestions?

thanks

[AnotherStander]

So in her mind we need to show the kids how we like each other and we are still friends. Her suggestion is that we start doing things as a family together !!!!! (yes WTF !!! ) - An example she gave was "lets all go the park together this weekend".. The girls will then see that we are friends and they will be happier.

First I will say that my XW and I continued to do things with the kids to make things easier on them. We kept doing joint birthday parties, and Christmases. We still do in fact. So I get where she is coming from, and it's not a bad idea -IF- both of you are comfortable with it. But it doesn't sound like you are, so I wouldn't force it.

I shot this down and point blank refused. Kept the conversation short and just said i didnt want to speak to her full stop - and at the park, and the girls would see this so it would solve nothing - and even if she came the park, i wouldnt be near her anyway, as when at the park i would be interacting with the girls... Not playing happy families with her . She didnt want to accept this and says its what we should do - and she will call me tonight and discuss further.

When she calls then tell her it's not an option, but that you think the kids should get some counseling. This really isn't something you can force. If you can't stand being around her then as you say, the kids are going to sense that if you try to force it and the whole thing will do more harm than good.

I am clear in my mind about this.. I dont want to spend 10 seconds in her company, let alone a park trip.. BUT just mentioned to a person at work who says i need to think about my girls and do this for them.. Let them see mummy and daddy happy together etc.. This really doesnt sit well with me, as i think it will be all fake.

Follow your heart on this. If you feel it won't work then I can almost guarantee that it won't.

[curtis7]

WW is still with OM, and this has affected my children. I don’t ask any questions, but he is there a lot, and I gather she ignores them when he is.

Eldest then chipped in said she hates it when he is there.. I was literally dropping them off at this point and didn’t know what to say / how to respond.. So said nothing. I don’t mention their mum / him to my girls and never ask about homelife, but it is interesting how much children pick up on and process.. Not mentioned to the WW as there is no point.. She would turn it on me.

Met the OM for the first time the other day.. Again, I don’t blame this guy for this Sitch, so left them to it. Also found out that the WW went out on Saturday for a girls night and left OM to babysit the youngest for the night.

My 5 year old is fine once she is out with us, and enjoys herself - but has no enthusiasm to go anywhere a lot of the time, as she just wants to “watch TV”.. This is a serious problem in my opinion, but that’s all she does at her mums house.. So I’m trying to figure out how to handle this. It also frustrates the other 2 as they just want to go out for the day and they love coming to dads and doing things as a change from “the TV” which they get at their mums.

...the girls will have quality time with me and not “me and my partner while I ignore them” and I won’t spend my time with them glued to the phone, when with them.. Even if I meet somebody eventually, kids come first. I wont make that mistake again, and I wont date a lady who ignores her own children to spend time with me.

Help,

Thanks for posting an update. You are being a great father to your girls and they will remember these rough times in their life forever. You were the strong parent that gave them the attention and support they needed. You certainly have your priorities in order.

My kids are being affected by WW and OM too, although she doesn’t bring him around when they are with her, she has a tendency to neglect the kids, puts them in front of the TV all night and is glued to her phone with OM. Kids are intuitive and they feel it. I would have a hard time encountering OM, you may not blame him; however he is a party to tearing apart a family. No decent human being encroaches on that. I would be furious if WW left my kids with OM.

I tried to highlight the impact to my WW once on the texting around the kids, she just lashed back. It is counter productive to try to get them to see the error of their ways in their selfish state of mind and inability to appreciate rational thought.

My D4 also only wants to watch TV, all she knows from being with W. I attempt to combat this by getting her to play games with S8 and I, setting up artwork projects, taking them to the park, or going in the pool. It’s helped curtail TV time, but still a work in progress. Kids love it at my place, so much more to do and a ton more attention from the parent. They may eventually rebel on going to W’s house.

I completely agree with your views on the importance of kids with your next partner. Monitor that closely to ensure your values align. I also am not a fan of phone addictions, so that is a big red flag for me.

Wishing you the best!

[MrBrside]

AS,

thanks for your input. I decided not to speak to her last night and have decided i won't be doing family things with her. My girls are my family now and she chose to walk away to her OM. I dont see why she should get to pick and chose what "family" stuff she wants to do. Birthday parties are a bit different, and i will attend these.. Things like "family" time at the park dont fit well with my mindset. She made her bed, and i always remember her saying "oh the girls will be fine once we seperate" - maybe reality as hit, that these things do impact on children.

The ironic thing is all this is she has done excatly what her father did to her family when she was 3, right down to moving the OW into the house weeks after he moved away from her mum. It has always affected her and her first memories are of the day her dad walked out on her mum and her mum was crying and begging him to stay. She always reflects back on how she cried on the stairs and its the earliest memory she had.. So says " the girls will be fine" just shows what she forgets / choses to ignore.

Curtis,

I would have a hard time encountering OM, you may not blame him; however he is a party to tearing apart a family. No decent human being encroaches on that. I would be furious if WW left my kids with OM.

I think this varies on each person and situation.

In my case, there are a few things which make me think he is just a pawn in this.

Since she went WW she only spoke lies - like most WWs. Not just to me, to everybody she knew.. Self preservation is key. I know she lied to her mum about what the MC said and messages to OM1 and OM2. I know she lied to all her friends. I know from texts that they exchanged that she lied continually to the OM3 when they started messaging.

When we came to sign the seperation agreement, she refused based on the date we seperated ( 8th December 2018 ) - she point blank refused and demanded i change this to the end of October. She was messageing OM2 in October and met / exchanged numbers with OM3 ( with now ) in early November 2018 - His wife had died on the 31st October 2018 and they were messaging 2 weeks later ! I suspect he was in a bad place, and she probably told him she was single. I cant think of any other reason why she would demand to change the seperation document date ( ie in case he managed to see it and thought, hmmm... she told me she was single in November )

I also know she was messaging him through December slating me etc, but at the same time cake eating and telling me how we need to make it work.

I think her personality also has a lot to do with it.

Like i mentioned on my initial post, before our 3rd and final trip to the MC, the MC called me to dicuss a few things / get and update and mentioned that my WW showed cluster B disorder traits. i started to look into it and i'm sure she has either vunerable narsasism or Borderline PD.

How he is feeling now, is how she made me feel 8 years ago. Again, if you read my inital post (i hadn't read up on BPD at that point i dont think ) i mentioned how we fell in love very quickly. I have also mentioned in another post how i ignored red flags.. I was totally love bombed, and it was totally out of character for me! - She did my gym induction when i joined a new Gym and by the time i'd got to work 20 mins later, she had friend requested me on facebook.. I asked her put a few days later and WW messaged me hundreds of times over the following weeks / months.. She showered me with attention, amazing porn sex and love - and gave me a key to her house less than 2 weeks after meeting her. I stayed in my own house approx 5 times before i rented it out 6 months later from the day i got a key to WWs. 3 - 4 months after out first date i got "i need to tell you something.. the pill failed... i'm pregnant"

Even as i read what i had wrote, i cringe.. It isnt me and the "me" from 8 years ago was a very confident, sensible and rational "Alpha" bloke. I had morals and values, yet ignored bright red flags..

I have kind of gone track on my reply, but the principle is the same... I know how this OM3 must be feeling. His wife has just died and he now has a fit and attractive lady with big fake boobs giving him porn star sex and telling him how amazing he is. At this point he probably believes every lie she told him, and has no idea of the lies.. So i cant blame him for being blinded by her - As i was as well.

[AnotherStander]

I decided not to speak to her last night and have decided i won't be doing family things with her. My girls are my family now and she chose to walk away to her OM. I dont see why she should get to pick and chose what "family" stuff she wants to do.

She's got to learn that she can't make demands of you anymore, she gave up that "right" when she walked out on you.

Birthday parties are a bit different, and i will attend these.. Things like "family" time at the park dont fit well with my mindset.

I agree, birthdays with a group are much different than playing "pretend family" at the park.

I would have a hard time encountering OM, you may not blame him; however he is a party to tearing apart a family. No decent human being encroaches on that.

You're right, but that's for the WAS to deal with. She's setting up shop with someone who is perfectly willing to mess around with a married woman, so she's fooling herself if she thinks he has any loyalty to her. It's just a matter of time before he's messing around with someone else on her. Sometimes that's not the case and they build a lasting relationship, but based on what I've seen over the years I'd say a WAS/OM relationship has about a 5% chance of lasting much over a year.

[ovrrnbw]

I'm bumping your thread because I want to know what kind of car you're buying this weekend. I think that is update worthy.

[MrBrside]

Wow..

I never expected this thread to be bumped.

So to answer your question.. I’ve a lovely 600 mile round trip planned to purchase an Impreza RB 320… Not to everyone’s taste, but a car I have always wanted ( I already own an Impreza RB 5 ) – both of these are limited edition Impreza’s in the UK..

They dropped in value a few years back but WAW wouldn’t entertain another car… These are shooting back up in value ( I’m paying £5000 more than I would have in 2014 ), so want one before they get to silly silly money..

Scenes as I’m back commenting on my own post, ( I tend to comment on other posts but never intended to resurrect this one - I genuinely feel like I was a different person who wrote some of this stuff.. I never intended on updating this thread, as it was a different time and definitely a different life. ) I’ll add an update

Life is going great. Like really great

I’ve been at the same company for 19 years, and a staff member ( she’s been here 6 years ) commented the other day how I am a different person now compared to how I was for the last 6 years. Another staff member who has known me for the 19 years said “actually he’s not , he’s just back to how he was before he met WAW”

My own mother has commented on how she is so happy that me and WAW separated - “you became a different person when you got together and were never really happy”

So when I say great, I feel like I did when I was 30 before I met the WAW. The only added bonus now is my children into the mix.

I think the treat of the car this weekend will be the icing on the cake 😊 apart from the silly MPG and extortionate road tax.

I have changed a lot in the past 8 months.. well not so much changed, just gone back to how I was before I met WAW and then slid into that provider roll.

And on reflection I think that’s what I became, which didn’t aid my situation..

I became complaisant compared to the me in 2010 – Less gym time, same old clothes, same old routine.. Not attractive qualities

My mindset now is back to 2010 – yes I provide for my children, but the focus is on me, my children and having fun.

As for the WAW – she still trying to use the kids as leverage but i refuse to speak to her apart from hi and bye on drop-offs.. Everything is done over txt and she still try’s to push the boundaries – but I stay strong, which usually sees her make random threats.. But they hold no weight and I just ignore.

No doubt she is Cluster B – Either BPD or NPD -maybe a bit of both – But at least I understand why things were the way they were for 8 years.

She broke down like a baby in November when she told me she had made a parents evening appointment for us – I just said Id booked my own slot with the teachers as I wouldn’t be going with her.

Her and OM3 broke up ( I actually guessed because she started to harass me over txt multiple times a day with random stuff ) in October. Sounds odd to write, but I wished they hadn’t as she suddenly wanted to see the kids more ( she often asked me to have them on extra days )

Mutual friend told me a few weeks back that they are trying to make it work again – which suits me as she has already asked me to have the children for an extra weekend in March… I’m indifferent on it really – Which again is a 180 to 12 months ago. I just want to be left in peace – Ironic really – 12 months ago I wanted that magic bullet to fix this – now I just want her to leave me in peace.

I came here as a typical provider – the same as so many other LBS – looking for a way to fix the situation.. Typical Mr nice guy…

With the help of the Vets on here, reading ‘no more Mr Nice Guy’ and ‘Dads starting over’ site I am back to the guy I used to be…

I dress well, gym dedication has paid off, and I smell nice – I get lots of compliments – which all adds to the confidence.

I wont make the same mistakes again – I’ve leant a lot in the last 12 months and feel truly fortunate.

For any new LBS – Life is hell – your head is a mess – you can’t eat – cant sleep – We have all been there… BUT ….

Focus on you – drop the rope – move on with your life – Life has so much to offer – so go and enjoy it..

My username is from my favourite song – Mr Brightside – The Killers…

This sums me up

“Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all

Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
Cause I'm Mr. Brightside”

[Pommy99]

This is a great uplifting post. I haven’t read your whole thread - I’m not sure I can right now because no doubt it documents the pain of the last 12 months - and sometimes reading about other people’s pain intensifies my own, even though the advice and information is so valuable, as is not feeling alone in what I’m experiencing So reading your post, and hearing how you’ve come out the other side, is really uplifting for me right now and I’m so glad I’ve seen that this morning!

I’m torn between wanting the magic bullet that you describe, and admitting that perhaps too many years of bad marriage have happened and it’s time to be brave and move on. (I also think my WAH may have NPD (this is the opinion of my IC, and my family have picked up on several traits consistently over the years).).

I hope your new car brings you lots of fun. Takes me back to the days of going to the WRC - which is what I did when I was “me” ! Drive safe!

[MrBrside]

Hi,

Thanks for your feedback

This is a great uplifting post. I haven’t read your whole thread - I’m not sure I can right now because no doubt it documents the pain of the last 12 months

Fortunetly for me, there wasnt 12 months of pain. I posted a lot on my sitch when all this hit, but my mindset changed quickly - hence i having updated in 6 months. I think peoples mind sets differ - If you look at my comments to the Curtis thread, i want to shake this guy and say - no shout ... WAKE UP !!!

Reality hit the day my WAW accused me of making up a story about my grandads stroke, just to stop her seeing OM..

That was the end in my head. Decission was made, and out of principle i will never change that..

I’m torn between wanting the magic bullet that you describe, and admitting that perhaps too many years of bad marriage have happened and it’s time to be brave and move on. (I also think my WAH may have NPD (this is the opinion of my IC, and my family have picked up on several traits consistently over the years).).

My honest take on this is - they saying love makes you blind... And as a man, you want to provide, to keep the family together, to support - no matter what... I believe i was blinded.

If you do read back on my initial post, i am carefull about what i write. I dont paint the true picture of things - people often comment about how "thats how the WAW was feeling at that moment" - I think the same applies to the LBS - at the initial point of posting, i loved my WAW and saw everything through rose tinted / love tinted glasses.

Once i woke up ( i do reference it i think - but i have no intention of reading about my old sitch - i find it embarassing that i lost soo much self respect ) after the Grandad stroke comments, everything changed. I started to look back and reflect on the emotional blackmail, the threats, all the lies - a lot of stuff that was always there ( even from early dating days ) which i chose to ignore.

I look at this situation as a learning curve - We go to school to get educated - with the hope that it will help us make a better life ( career etc ) . This was just another few years at WAW school - good times and bad - but i learnt a lot, and i will use what ive learnt to improve myself, and ensure i dont fall into the same traps again.

Respect is key
And never get complaisant

Drive safe!

Safe - and Sideways ;-)