What do I do? Ignore ?

[JimmyRig]

How can I try to get her to do a phone consultation or even see if she did do something I feel like I might be able to work thru it and forgive?

Or do I just sit, be my best and wait for papers?

[AnotherStander]

She is out of work for another week or two and plays Words with friends with me non-stop yet Friday night at her moms house watching movies with the boys she texts me b4 coming over to not sit next to her or think we are a couple bc this is unfixable.

They all say stuff like that. That's a reflection of how she feels right now, but it may very well change down the road.

She also mentioned that when she heals she would like to move back into our house but only if i'm gone or we split the week where she would go to her parents house which is close and I would go to my parents which is a half an hour further away from work and friends.

That should be a big fat NO from you. Why should YOU be inconvenienced because SHE wants to split up. You are having to go through enough as it is, she's going to have to deal with the headaches of finding another place and all that.

How can I try to get her to do a phone consultation or even see if she did do something I feel like I might be able to work thru it and forgive?

Do not try to make her do any kind of counseling, it never works. If you mean a phone consultation with a DB coach then that is for you, not for her.

[JimmyRig]

I did say no to the moving out and plus her parents live so close and 10-4 on the DB counseling.

Thanks

[Ready2Change]

Hi Jimmy,

Where there is smoke there is fire. You have seen the smoke, no need to confirm the flames. Go looking for the flames and you will get burned. No need to get burned.

The smoke:
" Signal App" and "T'was a little awkward"


It is important for you to "act as if" you have seen the flames (confirmed A).


You are to become Alpha Male.

You do not want to be with a woman who does not want to be with you. You do not want to share your woman with other men.

You agree that is is not working for you either.

[gzabetas]

Great reply Ready2Change.

And AnotherStander as well further up.

Keep up the good work guys, as many of us read these post replies and it pertains to us as well.

Sometimes I with there was a AnotherStander a Ready2Change, a Steve85, LH19, Ihcacls etc (and more, sorry I forget) wired in my head especially at night when I get the most anxious..

[neffer]

"If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past.
If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future.
If you’re content, you’re living in the present."

I got that from DnJ´s posts.

Live the present, face reality. Cool, calm, collected.
Time and patience are key factors.

Keep DB

[AnotherStander]

Sometimes I with there was a AnotherStander a Ready2Change, a Steve85, LH19, Ihcacls etc (and more, sorry I forget) wired in my head especially at night when I get the most anxious..

LOL! The only difference between you and the "vets" is time. You'll get there. Believe me I spent a lot of sleepless nights myself after BD, tossing around all lost and confused, mind racing a thousand miles an hour. I think more than anything I come here just so you and others know you WILL be OK, and even awesome :-) I was as low and lost and despondent as anyone here, and I don't have any special superpowers that got me to where I am now. If I can do it then anyone can do it, I really do believe that.

[Ready2Change]

Great reply Ready2Change.

And AnotherStander as well further up.

Keep up the good work guys, as many of us read these post replies and it pertains to us as well.

Sometimes I wish there was a AnotherStander a Ready2Change, a Steve85, LH19, Ihcacls etc (and more, sorry I forget) wired in my head especially at night when I get the most anxious..

OMG, I would have so much fun.

[gzabetas]

Thanks again guys. You guys coming back here to offer that time gained wisdom is gold for us. And you do it on your own. Thats a rare exception these days.

I am located here in Greece and I have read many of your responses as a sort of "scripture" to my sister who is consoling me these days and we have these 'a-ha' moments.

I dont know, but I wish my psychologist could be half as good as you are. I write down all these notes to get his insight, and his response is so generic and flat. Nothing like the expertise here. Only difference he is 3 dimensional.

For instance I read a great description of MLC by DnJ yesterday on the MLC forum which was so spot on it was crazy.





Thanks again!!

[JimmyRig]

How many have heard and how many times has it been heard "let me tell you the marriage is over, I dont mean to hurt you but........"

Go. And of course please add some of the always awesome guidance and wisdom bc once again I feel like I'm circling the drain. grrŕrrrree.