Midlife wife crisis5

[LH19]

W,

Not only does she have a head start but she also knows that at any point she could have her old life back. It’s easy to walk the tightrope when there is a big safety net underneath. Like AS said we can tell your demeanor by your postings. If we can then I am 100% positive the woman who knows you better then anybody can.

Right now she can seek out her new life while Wolfie is at mom and dads pining away for her hoping she’ll change her mind.

You are making this way to easy for her.

[Wolfman]

Today was a great day I took my kids to the city to see the car show. We walked around a little and grabbed a bite to eat. We had a great day. One funny thing to report. When I got to the house to pick up the kids my w said you are a little early. I said I like to be early(she would always complain that I was late, not true but anyway). Then she said why are you all dressed up? Aren’t you going to the city? Just so you all know I am wearing jeans, a button down and sneakers. I said we are going to the city. She said, you never dress up like that. And she said I notice you have been dressing differently lately. And then made a face like what’s this about. I said thanks, I said I’m just in jeans and a shirt. But thank you. I packed the kids up and left. It doesn’t phase me that she noticed I just thought it was funny. I always make sure I am happy, happy and upbeat around her.

[Wolfman]

LH what do you suggest? Sorry just saw your post. I definitely don’t want to make it easy for her.

[Ready2Change]

she said I notice you have been dressing differently lately.

I would step up all of these:

1) Start off by living a healthy lifestyle. Make healthy choices when eating. Drink plenty of water. Get good sleep. Exercise regularly. Take care of your body. Work out. Alcohol in moderation. Set a goal to reach, and then maintain, your ideal weight.

2) Make good grooming and hygiene a ritual. Accentuate the differences between the sexes.

3) Dress with style - fit, compliment, cohesive, unique, personal touch

4) Attitude (state of mind) – Happy (smile), Cool (Open and relaxed body language), Calm (slow), Confident (eye contact), humorous, seductive (ozz sex), Depth (mysterious, surprise ), Sincere , Interesting, Engaging

5) Awareness/Flirting ( 93% of communication is non verbal (body language) – study and enjoy what you find attractive and your body will naturally follow your thoughts. It is the ladies job to catch and hold a mans eye, several times if needed. This signals it is OK for him to approach. It is the mans job to approach the woman.

6) Social proof - Enjoy interacting with everyone, especially attractive members of the opposite sex. Maintain your personal boundaries with everyone.

When speaking, use a deeper tone. Slow down the words. Increase the volume. Get on youtube and look up charisma matrix.

[Wolfman]

R2C thank you for that. After BD in 3 months time I lost 20 lbs and stopped going to the gym. Well, my weight is back up, I gained the 20lbs back, all muscle because I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week. A few months ago I bought a whole new wardrobe. Around her I am happy and upbeat. Last night was weird. She came home late I was asleep on the couch. She woke me up and I said thank you for waking me up. Usually she walks away right away. This time she lingered by me. Asked me how my day was and how the kids were. I responded that they were good and we had a great time in the city. She thanked me for taking the kids to the city. I said you don’t have to thank me, those are my kids too. I joked with her a little and made sure I needed the conversation and said I’ll see you tomorrow. I don’t know I felt like she wanted me to stay and talk to her more. Everyone on here is going to think I am crazy I almost felt like she wanted me to kiss her. I don’t want to look into things too much and I know you all will tell me don’t over analyze and I won’t, it just felt that way. Almost like a sexual tension, I have not felt that vibe from her in a long time. Again, not over analyzing and getting hopes up. Just an observation.

[LH19]

W,

I think what’s happening now is you are taking the pressure off of her so she is feeling more safe and comfortable around you. Here is where you have to be careful about not accepting being in the friend zone.

Keep the convos brief and light “your welcome” was suffice. Then sorry got to run.

You’re doing better but I am concerned about your expectations. You know when some says “I don’t want to offend you” and you know you’re about to be offended?

It’s the same with you when you say “ I’m not reading into things” you’re reading into things.

Keep the pressure off and be scarce. Scarcity creates value.

[Wolfman]

Thanks LH. I don’t want to be in the friend zone. I hope that’s not what she is seeing it as. I hear keeping it scarce, what about a little flirty humor? Or is that pressure? She reaches out to me almost every morning for the past week. I want you to know I don’t have any expectations. I am just doing what DR says take note of what works and what doesn’t and observe.

[LH19]

W,

There’s no doubt you’re in the friend zone. When she reaches out what is a typical text? Can you give me an example of your interpretation of flirty humor?

[Ready2Change]

... I almost felt like she wanted me to kiss her. ...like a sexual tension, I have not felt that vibe from her in a long time.....

I am a firm believer in "All is fair in love and war."

You, as the man, are in charge of the romance and sex department. How are you "learning and practicing new skills while maintaining your moral boundaries?" Do you have other woman pursuing you? Or giving you similar vibes?

Do not kiss your wife. Make her want to kiss you. Let her come in for the kiss. Give her your cheek. Kind of the opposite of the guys that offer a cheek and then turn at last minute and give the girl a kiss on the lips. This has to be playful on you your part.


Do you have new skills for the bedroom? Will she be surprised by your behavior?

Look over this post:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2061094#Post2061094


It is your job to seduce you wife back. Do not make it easy for her. Have fun doing it.



This stuff is hard and takes a lot of work.

[Wolfman]

LH when she reaches out it’s mostly about the kids. Or we are trying to figure out who’s doing what with the kids. Flirty humor, When she says she can’t sleep, I would say that’s because you miss me in bed. Very light so she knows I am not serious. R2C I do have 2 women pursuing me. They have been pretty forward. These women give off a very strong sexual vibe. I like the idea about the kiss, turning my head. I will keep up the “I am hot vibe”. Today she is getting her hair done, she keeps texting me about the kids. How are they? What are they doing? How’s the weather over there? I keep all my answers brief and to the point. I also don’t respond to the texts right away. I have a lot of skills in the bedroom. That has never been a compliant on her part. I have gotten a lot more toned up and a lot of other people have noticed so I am sure she has. I know she won’t say anything. Just he other day I went out for my brothers birthday and one of the girls who was 20 was hitting on me. So with some women pursuing me lately and getting hit on my confidence has really gone up. I feel like I am going back to the man that she fell in love with. I want to thank all of you for constantly hitting me with those 2x4’s. I know I still have a ways to go but I will continue to DB.