Midlife wife crisis5

[LH19]

You’re frustrating because you don’t listen, don’t know the fundamentals and you’re just wasting my time. Seems like you just want to use this forum as a bitch session which is your right I guess.

If you decide you actually want to put some work in I would be happy to help you.

[Ready2Change]

Just out of curiosity what happened to my other mentors? Steve, R2C, AS, LH, you all help me out. I hope you did t lose faith in me.

I am following along. Do you have anything specific?

[SteveLW]

Wolfie, I am here for you man! Just hadn't a lot to add.

[Wolfman]

LH you are right less complaining and more DB. My DB skills definitely need to get better. My biggest downfall is my lack of patience. Something I need to work on. I guess I keep hoping there will be one thing that brings her back. That hope is which keeps setting me back. I realize that now. No expectations, 180, GAL and live for my kids and me now.
Steve and R2C thanks for still being here.

[Ready2Change]

..... I guess I keep hoping there will be one thing that brings her back.....

The one thing that has the best chance of bringing her back is your consistent changes. Keep changing your behavior. Each change should be focused on being more attractive. Alpha male behavior.

[Ready2Change]

Steve and R2C thanks for still being here.

I want you to have a great relationship with your children. They need you. It is your choice to make this happen. It is yours to lose.

[IHCLACS]

Here's a morbid but interesting passing thought on my way home from work today. Early on in my marriage every once in awhile I would imagine what if my wife was dying in the hospital or what if she passed on and went to heaven, and what if I shortly went after that in my old age? Being that my spirit will be released from this world, all its faults and shortcomings sinful desires and Brokenness. How would I greet her in heaven? How would I act, think feel and be? Well I'll tell you one thing? I wouldn't have any doubts fear loneliness insecurities shortcomings guilt, anger blame rage and all the other bad behaviors. It wouldn't matter because the Earth would no longer matter to me in the ways of it. I'm not saying be a doormat, and lack self respect. But I think it's most of us including myself put our minds to this, not only will we be able to detach with love a lot faster, and get our minds and hearts off the Romanticism of it all. Just for the hell of it look up Romanticism and where it started it started in The Shakespearean era. Love lost all of its practicalities commitment and devotion, through hard work, and what we have is nothing more than a limerence drug addict based on sensuality sexuality and feelings today. And this era just keeps on ramping up the stakes. I keep finding a very amazing how we can have unconditional love for our children, but with our spouses at waxes and wanes? Why is that? is it really because we're coming down off the high of Romanticism? That we didn't live up to the expectations of someone else and what they thought things should be and how? in case you haven't noticed people divorce is a crisis not only in our culture but in others as well. Me me me me me Independence Independence Independence... that's all I hear? And sadly I'm guilty of it too. Be aware of this for yourself.

And learn what true love is, real love, unconditional love. Not Tit for Tat not disappointing not offending not impatient.

I think I'm just beginning to understand God's way.

[Wolfman]

It has been over 3 weeks since the mediator sent the paperwork to the lawyer. We were supposed to make an appointment to go in and look it over and sign. She has not mentioned anything about getting this done. I feel like she is up to something. I know a few posts back someone said I took the pressure off of her and that’s why she is not in a rush. My thing is how long do I wait? It’s a rhetorical question. I am starting to want to push this through. I do love my w but after a while when you get nothing and she shows no signs of coming around I am starting to feel like she is cake eating. Honestly it’s starting to piss me off. I have been very patient with her, I try very hard to validate her feelings. But enough is enough. I know people say on here you should wait a year before you move on. Look I will be honest with the people on here. Since my wedding ring has come off I have a lot of women flirting with me and getting a lot of looks. It feels great getting that attention again. If she doesn’t want me, fine, then I am ready to move on. I know some of you will probably “beat me up” for saying that. But the cake eating has to stop and I am the only one to stop it. Maybe just maybe if I start to push for this d, she will say, why does he want it? LH you said i am like her “big safety net” if she were walking a tight rope. Well it’s time for me to take that away. I also understand what that means. She might say let’s get it done. I have detached were I am ready to move on, GAL is in overdrive and enjoying life. I am ready for either path I may head down at this point. I am better than plan B, I am plan A and it’s time for her to see that or move on!!

[SoTorn]

Hey man. Its your life. Only you can decide if youre truly done. Yes they cake eat and will continue to do so. Feeling the complete loss of you may or may not bring them back.

I decided that I want attention from other women. I decided that I wanted to know what it was like to have a good womans attention. I met another woman. I dont see her often but she is very kind to me. I decided that a PA and being badly mistreated for the last few years was a dealbreaker.

I am happy. My kids get most of my attention and because of that they are doing well. I am moving on. I will be moving out soon. As soon as I find a place. I feel good about it and feel its the best thing for me.

That being said, if you have any hope or faith that your M will survive, keep on DBing. Because moving on, especially dating another woman will most likely ensure that will never happen. Im ok with that for me. Are you ok with that for you?

[LH19]

W,

I am curious on what your IC has to say about your emotional stare right now.