Life is good, and I am enjoying myself and my GAL.
Today ex came by the House to be with the kids. They had missed their mom, so that was Nice for them. I packed my clubs, and was going for a lesson at the golf course (she is there to visit the kids and not me. She looked all weird and asked if I really had to leave. I just replied “is it a problem ?” Too which she Said “no I just need to sort it out in my head”. I left and had some Nice Time just for Me.
When I arrived home, d5 had been playing with a friend. Then the nejghbor daughter apparently had invited only d5 to play and she had left her friend to Go play with the neighbors kid. That was not a Nice thing to do, and my ex told Me and lectured d5 about it at the same time.
Here is the conversation roughly: W: d5, when you Go outside to play with a friend and another of your friends show interest in you, then you dont turn your back on your First friend, But you find a way so all of you Can play.
W: I am sure dad agrees. (Looks at Me with Big eyes seeking my validation) <—- I validated and then I just began laughing, because it hit me...
She sure did find a way to play when she was invited by someone who took an interest, and it might br bad humor, but i cracked up... she asked what was so funny, But i somehow didnt Think she would share my humor so i kept it to myself 😂.
On phone so excuse my grammar
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
Accidentally had a thought about this forum, and decided I would check in - It has been months, and alot sure has happened.
So, first of all, I am doing great, my house has sold, my kids have settled into the reality of "mom weeks" and "dad weeks", and thats all wonderful. They are small beings, so the transition could had been a lot worse, but we have been good at setting up the framework as coparents, so the kids are bothered as little as possible (padding my own shoulder here).
Will I ever forgive my ex for her deceit and betrayal? Absolutely not. We have a strict business like relationship, where our business pertains to the well being of our children, and that is all I want from her. I have no intentions of every reconciling with her, and even though I don't know whats around the next corner in life, I do know, that I can never forgive the trauma I have dealt with during the past 12 months.
Am I angry and hurt? Part of me will always be - Do I think about it daily? absolutely not. I have found new friendships, invested time in things that are important to me. I have put alot of time into things I gave up on because I compromised with my ex, as peope do in relationships - Its all good .
I feel like I mentally am in a great place as well as physically. I feel like I am the father I want to be, and I have so much energy and a desire to just be dad, when I have my kids. I actually think, I do more with them now, than when I was together with their mother - funny how things turn out.
3 months ago I met this gorgeous woman, who I have been dating for the past 2 months. I have been honest about everything, and she is a very understanding, caring and loving person. I had some issues at the beginning, because it felt "wrong" to share and recieve love from a person who was not my ex. I guess part of me was cutting the umbillical cord from my old life, and 12 years is a lot to just say goodbye to. Me and my new sweetheart (she is, and I smile writing this) have a great way of communicating and I just feel really happy and content.
So, life is great - but wow what a rollercoaster it has been! Thank you all so much for every piece of advice.
Some pieces of advice from me to any newcommer would be (and this is from the perspective of your wife having left you for another man - I know many stories are different):
Reflect on your relationship, and realize, that you are partially at fault for things going sour - however you are not to blame for her sleeping with someone else - thats just a lousy character trait.
Do not try to pursuade your wife to come back to you. You will loose yourself in the process and you will at the same time loose all form of selfrespect. <--- I look back, and I feel sorry for some of the things I did and said in order for her to just come back - because, I must have looked so weak, and so unattractive, and in the end, she would had still cheated, and that thought would had lured in the back of my head forever I think. <-- Some can live with that, most can't is my subjective opionion.
Go out and live life. It took my nearly a year - thats 360 days to get through this. Many ups, and many downs - but I made it. Read my thread, and you will see how many downs and ups there are in just my experience with this. However, I am on an upslope now - I am wiser, stronger, and I have learned so so much about myself through this horrible experience.
I wish you all the very best.
/Hurt
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
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