Midlife wife crisis6

[Wolfman]

Sandi one other thing. I always thought as a husband you try and be your best and give everything you can to your w. That’s what I did, in the process I made a bigger monster. I absolutely spoiled the hell out of her because I loved her and wanted her to have everything. And again you were right, I began to resent her because here I am doing everything I can for her and only ask for a little help and love. And I didn’t get those things. So I would try harder by doing more things and getting her more, to only be let down some more. Only now am I beginning to see how selfish she was and self centered. The forum has really helped me a lot. I am sorry if I didn’t always follow the advice on here, I was just so lost.

LH little by little I am taking back my balls. They belong to me and I am taking them back!!!

[Wolfman]

Things are getting bad at my parents house now. That’s where I am staying. I know Sandi you told me not to go back, I am ready to go back to my house and take back the MBR. Not to win her back but to get her butt moving with this. I am done with my m. I have so much anger and resentment for my w. I could care less about her!!! If she wants out let her make the moves. You all were right I should have never moved out. This weekend might get ugly. The only small fear I had was the child support. But you know what, I have to agree to it. If she decides she wants to take me to court guess what, that will mean that much longer I will be in the house. I never thought I would get to this spot. But enough is enough. No more “Mr. Niceguy” Right now I have a lot of emotions so before I act I am going to think this over.

[SoTorn]

You need to get to a point of indifference towards your W. Try to shed the anger and resentment. Not healthy. That is something that I have been working hard on. I refuse to be like my EXMIL. Bitter her entire life that her H left her when EXWW was younger. MIL never moved on and lives alone and is very emotionally and mentally unhealthy.

Not saying you would end up like that. There is just literally no point to be angry or resentful. This is where you focus on yourself. Does it benefit you to be angry and resent your W? I doubt it. So let it go. Because there is literally nothing else you can do about the situation besides accept it and move on with your life.

[IHCLACS]

Wolfman. This is nothing more than a business transaction at this point. You're name is on the deed? Take back what is rightfully yours. Take the MBR and half the house, and your belongings. She wants child support, draw up a parental agreement, have your attorney, or mediatorn or family probate, review and present it to hers. You take your emotions our of the equation, think logically, play hardball if necessary, put your ball$ in front of you, protect yourself, your assets, and your children. With friends like our WAS, who needs enemies?

[Ready2Change]

I am ready to go back to my house and take back the MBR.

I have so much anger and resentment for my w. This weekend might get ugly.

Listen to me. This is critically important:

You need to be in complete control of your emotions. Clint Eastwood is how you want to behave.

Before you go back, you have to forgive your W. Not for her, but for you. Do not let her control you. Forgive her now. Forgive her an hour from now. Keep doing this.

You have to release all you anger before you go back. Get in your car, drive someplace where you can park and scream and yell without anyone else hearing/seeing you. Scream it all out. Repeat as needed. Same thing for crying.


Get to a point of indifference.

[AnotherStander]

I have so much anger and resentment for my w. I could care less about her!!!

Wolf, if you cared less about her then there would be no anger or resentment. Do own your feelings but don't react because of your feelings. If you're going to move back that's fine, but it needs to be something you do calm and cool as a cucumber. Your W is not going to be pleased at all so be prepared for that. She may even try to change the locks on you, that's not legal but she may not know or care. Then you're left getting the police involved. Just be ready for anything, have contingency plans.

Right now I have a lot of emotions so before I act I am going to think this over.

Yes, good call!

[Ready2Change]

She may call the cops. She may file a restraining order. Be ready for anything.


Do you follow LB55?

[IHCLACS]

Wolf you better be emotionally centered if she does call the cops, and you better have that copy of that deed
ready with your name on it. That is why most people here advised not to leave the house or the MBR. You have a moral obligation to protect your children you have a legal obligation to protect your home and your assets. Since you left for over a month or more she does not have any legal grounds to have the police throw you out of your own home however she does and can possibly have legal grounds to claim abandonment with your children in Family Court. You better make sure that any encounter or interaction you have with her within the household is recorded, and or documented. Depending on your state laws you may be able to record her without her having to know about it but might not be able to involve a third party as far as evidence and laws. Check with your local state laws first. If she files a restraining order, she could make up any reason Under the Sun for justification of it, and you will have to go through the trouble of having it vacated. If she becomes the first one to file the restraining order, what I want you to do is file a counter restraining order against her for you and your children and you better have the evidence and proof that she is having an affair and that is affecting your children within the home.

I've seen my brother go through this you better be prepared and fight for your kids with all you've got

[sandi2]

Any updates?

[Wolfman]

I have not gone back yet. You all freaked me out about the whole restraining order. For those of you who don’t know I am living in my parents house. My mom is handicapped and have a live in aid to help. Well my dad is having an affair with the aid and he took off with her, leaving me with my handicapped mom. She wants me to help her get in and out of bed, change her, help her with all her meds. How much can one person handle. We just hired someone to help out, but my mom is already pissing her off.
I am really considering going back to my house and going back into the MBR and be prepared for the worse. If some of you are thinking I should get an apartment, I feel like why should I? I know I should have never given up the MBR to begin with. If she doesn’t like it she can move out. I am tired off this. All of this!!! Where is that “light” at the end of the tunnel? All I see is darkness. Another thing is, I didn’t want to move back to my house because my w is seeing what it will be like to be a single mom and have to deal with all the problems that come with running a home, since I did it all my own. I am so confused and stuck. And you all scared the crap out of me about moving back.
I haven’t been on in a while because I have been taking care of my mom and trying to figure out what to do. I think my situation has to be the most messed up situation on here!! Lucky me!!