Yup...it´s about YOUR life Si. It´s about the ACTIONS you take.
Originally Posted by si13
Part of me wishes I had threatened to file.
Originally Posted by sandi2
She'll recognize what he's trying to do if he tells her, "I'm packing my bags........I'm walking to the door....... I'm opening the door.......I'm stepping through the door, have you awaken yet?"
Actions
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Man, just had an amazing lunch with AnotherStander. I sure am grateful to be able to sit down and talk the same langauge with someone about what's going on. Thank you so much AS. The time was invaluable.
Feeling encouraged to forge ahead. Seeing some things a little more clearly. Understanding some of what I'm resolved about.
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
It was my pleasure, sometimes it's hard to picture who we're talking to on the other end of these messages but you really impressed me as a kind, warm-hearted, intelligent person with a beautiful spirit and real love for your wife. I know it's hard to imagine now but you are going to thrive whether you reconcile or move on, there's no question in my mind of that. We'll have to do it again soon!
Man, just had an amazing lunch with AnotherStander. I sure am grateful to be able to sit down and talk the same langauge with someone about what's going on. Thank you so much AS. The time was invaluable.
Feeling encouraged to forge ahead. Seeing some things a little more clearly. Understanding some of what I'm resolved about.
Thats awesome! I have said it before, I will say it again. We should have an LBS meetup once a year. I would honestly attend.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
That would be cool. Too bad I'm in the NE. Me and my kid brother would move to TX in a heartbeat. He went on vacation down there for a week, was about to get on a plane to return home and wound up staying down there for 3 months with his buddy. The only reason he came home was because my father was on his deathbed in '12.
I would move down there in a heartbeat if it wasn't for family and S1. We are conservative country boys living in the greater NYC/NJ area.
AS if I ever come to big D again, we are meeting for lunch!
Would be a pleasure!
Originally Posted by SoTorn
Thats awesome! I have said it before, I will say it again. We should have an LBS meetup once a year. I would honestly attend.
Years ago there were some informal DB get-togethers that were organized, I can't remember where but it was pretty far from me and why I didn't go. The rules here about sharing private contact info have since been tightened up quite a bit which I totally understand. But it has definitely made such things all but impossible to organize.
Originally Posted by IHCLACS
Too bad I'm in the NE. Me and my kid brother would move to TX in a heartbeat.
I do like it here (born and raised), but one day I may retire to the Ozarks. I go there once a year and really love it there. I would love to have a small place in the woods, all natural beauty, no taking care of a yard. Just hike, kayak and work on my art. Man that would be sweet!
Si, this is the quote from the movie Swingers I was talking about, I've never seen the movie but these lines describe the "save your marriage by not saving it" dynamic quite well:
MIKE And what if I don't want to give up on her?
ROB You don't call.
MIKE But you said I shouldn't call if I wanted to give up on her.
ROB Right.
MIKE So I don't call either way.
ROB Right.
MIKE So what's the difference?
ROB The only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. See, you can't do anything to make her want to come back. You can only do things to make her not want to come back.
MIKE So the only difference is if I forget about her or pretend to forget about her.
ROB Right.
MIKE Well that [censored].
ROB It [censored].
MIKE So it's almost a retroactive decision. So I could, like, let's say, forget about her and when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her.
ROB Right...or more likely the opposite.
MIKE Right... Wait, what do you mean?
ROB I mean first you'll pretend not to care, not call - whatever, and then, eventually, you really won't care.
MIKE Unless she comes back first.
ROB Ah, see, that's the thing. Somehow they don't come back until you really don't care anymore.
