Any thoughts will be greatfully recieved. Update well it is so much modernised in me without wh in the house. Getting use to lacking the kids off eow (well no that's not true, it is something I never envisioned I would ever be doing) work keeps me butchering that time but I am also GAL as well. First time i have ever eaten on my own in a restaurant, but it was liberating and I am a people watcher, so it was nice.
I have realised I am starting to mirror wh emotionally and I don't like it. I am short and rude act like wh can quickly exit. This I don't want, this is not the person I aim to be inreal life, it is only wh I am like this with.
As for sex, yep sorry sigh,had a good night,few drinks and wham its like we slip back. This is NOT happening ever again
So your H left you for OW and you continue to sleep with him and have R talks?
I’m confused: have you read any of the links or posts here? Why are you okay taking another woman’s leftover scraps of YOUR H?
Do you think women with self confidence do that? Can you describe how a woman with a high self value would behave in this scenario? Maybe that’s a place to start.
I’m sort of at a loss of what to stay. I made a lot of mistakes but never for one second allowed my H to play me like this. As long as OW was in the picture in any capacity, he knew not to come anywhere near me. I deserve better. I deserve it all.
Maybe this starts with you and why you think you deserve this. You think you deserve it simply because you allow it . So sadly you are causing additional harm in your sitch. Strong and confident women would tell a guy like this to F off. Then she would flood herself with self care, support and GAL. .... this over time is also what has them ending their As and begging to come back.
Maybe start by waking up every morning and reading Sandis rules. I’m not sure actually, I don’t understand what your goals are here.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
Just had to pick myself off the floor, but thank you. My goal is to have my family back intact hopefully if not to have a respectful and meaningful co parent relationship. My wh knows I won't be having anymore, support and self care was and is my priority. I have a close friend who supports me and understands why I would like my wh back. I do read Sandi 's rules and I rest my head everything knowing that I was enough today. I have taken back me from my wh and he knows how that this lady ain't for turning. This was the last bit of control he had over me, making me feel guilty and sad for him but no more. Self respect and self love comes first wh chose his life, I am choosing mine, a life where people who are in my life want to be in it. Today has been a good day with one little low, bloody song REM everybody hurts. Well I still made it a positive in my book, turned it up loud and sung along with gut wrenching zone and tears streaming down my face looking like a extra from kiss. My God Michael stipe you are a brilliant songwriter and for that I thank you
So puzzling over what to do. Fathers day up and coming, I offered wh last week to swop weekends so that he gets to spend the weekend with the kids, said he would get back to me on that. Hasnt and know I have made plans with the kids for the weekend. I can offer for wh to eat with us on the Sunday, but would that be classed as pursuit?? I know how I felt on mothers day and got to spend it with my kids which I appreciated. Gifts are made and are from the kids, not me. Just dont want to come off looking like the bad guy again, but I dont want to give up my time with the kids at the weekend
I can offer for wh to eat with us on the Sunday, but would that be classed as pursuit?? I know how I felt on mothers day and got to spend it with my kids which I appreciated. Gifts are made and are from the kids, not me.
No that all sounds fine since the kids will be there and it's really centered around the kids spending time with H. Just don't have any expectations that it is changing anything and you'll be fine. No R talks either. Just focus on it being a nice, relaxing time with the kids.
Wh iniated talk on kids meeting ow, on my weekend, said no, went mad asked wh to leave. I am steaming, so I have blocked all contact to wh and told wh all communication via email and only regarding the children. I told wh that I will not facilitate visits when it is my time with the children. What wh does when he has them is beyond my control.
I am angry and upset, previous to this I had ask wh to look at gottman as all communication is conflict at the moment, and I think this would be a good area to start, no wh went straight in triggered me and I reacted
Wh iniated talk on kids meeting ow, on my weekend, said no, went mad asked wh to leave. I am steaming, so I have blocked all contact to wh and told wh all communication via email and only regarding the children. I told wh that I will not facilitate visits when it is my time with the children. What wh does when he has them is beyond my control.
It is certainly understandable that you are upset about that! My only suggestion is STICK TO YOUR GUNS! Maintain that "no contact" boundary. Don't respond to calls or texts. Only reply to emails about the kids.
Another email asking for a copy of marriage certificate, not replied should I go with the standard. I want to work to save this marriage, but I wont stop you, I wont be helping you.
Jesus all I want to do is knock some sense into this person. Wh is not listening to my feelings, then why start a discussion, wh is dismissive of me as long as he gets what he wants
Another email asking for a copy of marriage certificate,
The approach we suggest is you don't do any D work yourself, but you also don't do anything to interfere with the process. If you have the marriage certificate and he's requesting a copy then go ahead and send it to him.
Originally Posted by SoloUk
should I go with the standard. I want to work to save this marriage, but I wont stop you, I wont be helping you.
No not in this case. Just go ahead and send it, no other response.
Originally Posted by SoloUk
Jesus all I want to do is knock some sense into this person.
