Lol. Definitely not fart. Ok I will not flirt. I will continue on the path. It’s funny life can really throw you a curve ball. Most people look forward to the weekends, I don’t anymore. Other than to catch up on sleep. I hate the weekends. If I had more single or divorced friends it would be better!! Also my birthday is coming up and that has me down, again thinking about everything she did for me last year. I know one day at a time. I miss the family dynamic. I miss the “wife” who use to value family time. Who loved spending time together. I have to get use to this new dynamic. One thing that definitely does not help, my w works with a bunch of divorced women. So they just feed her how “great” it is to be single and how they go out and party.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
You need to train your mind to avoid some thoughts. Live into reality. Learn to love yourself so as to be living into YOUR present and facing YOUR future. It´s not an instantaneous change. It´s a process. It´s detaching from your current environment. Free yourself.
As Steve says, do what works. Keep your road to amoafwl. Be consistent with yourself.
Keep shining for the kids. Keep DB.
Be strong Wolf!
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Hey Wolf. Im half you brought up " wish I had more single and divorced" friends. I signed up for meetup groups for that back in Jan. for unvoupling uncoupling and such I haven't attended any yet. But maybe we both should? I know its like admitting to ourselves, this is really happening to us, but hey it's support? Right? I know from our perspective they are enablers? But maybe it might help us to go out and be social with some people going through similar experiences?
Neffer I am trying so hard to train my mind. I am trying to keep busy to distract myself. But there are so many little triggers. The first one is getting up alone, it [censored] and I always would talk to my w in the morning. It’s funny how when I go out I look to see how many people are married, by looking if they are wearing a wedding ring. I know it’s dumb. It some people I see wearing a ring look and act like train wrecks and they are married. I sit here and say how is this person married and I will not be soon? When I take my kids to dinner seeing all the couples together. Again, I k ow I shouldn’t be focusing on that but it just happens. I know it’s a process but I am trying.
IH maybe I should sign up for that. It’s so depressing when none of my friends call to hang out. I am always the one to call and get together. I need to find more single people to hang out with. At least I got back into playing baseball and going to the gym more. I put 20lbs of muscle back on. That’s how much I lost at the beginning of this whole d thing. I know she has to notice that, I know she won’t say anything, but so many people have told me how good I look now, not from cocky point of view it’s just I lost so much weight I looked terrible. I’m going to read DR again and look for “bright” spots. When my mind goes negative I try to focus on something positive then. Definitely not easy but I am trying.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Someone tell me when it starts to get easier? I know I need to detach more but it’s so hard. We have an alarm on the house with a doorbell camera. Yesterday she took away my access. So I can no longer see who rings the doorbell or approaches the house. I know I don’t live there anymore but I am still paying half the bills. I love how she feels how she can pick and choose what she wants and doesn’t want. Like me paying half the bills but then takes me off of that. Or back in February we had a vacation planned. We planned it before we were separated, and she kicked me off the cruise without even talking with me about it. That was before I found this website. Do I say anything about the alarm? Or do I just let it go? I am so tired how of this. I want my heart to move on. I deserve so much better. Another thing. I know she can do what she wants but there is such a double standard. When I have the kids, I have the kids. I don’t get a babysitter and go out. Yet again, she took the kids to her parents house so she could go out. Now if I did that, went out on the night I had my kids, she would flip out. I have said it before, she is going through a midlife crisis. Not the woman I married. So sad this is what she has become!!! I am sad, that the woman I married is gone. That the life we built is gone. That I have to literally start my life all over again. Struggling. Please help. How to become better detached. Please help how to deal with this depressing feelings.
Last edited by Wolfman; 06/02/1912:56 PM.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
