Relationships are a two way street, a give and a take, per se. I agree w/Dawn, you have just as much say in this relationship as he does. I realize that both of you work, but it seems a bit odd to me that if he says he loves you, that he would want to spend more time w/you, i.e., even w/o the kids being around. You have been in this relationship long enough that holding hands and kisses shouldn't be something that is hidden from his son.
You are a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate woman who deserves a man who will be there for you not matter what. You deserve so much more and M needs to either step up to the plate and explain just what is his problem.
Maybe it's time that you not be so readily available to be w/him and give him a taste of what it's like not to be around when he wants to do things. Sometimes what is good for the goose is also good for the gander.
Ginger, I want to see you happy.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
G - I agree pull back and see what happens. Let him drive the bus for a while. I know when the Dr. pulls back some I like to chase. It sparks my interest.
Girl - be very careful here. It's true that you deserve love and have a right to speak up about your needs (and no,sex once every two weeks wouldn't have worked for me at your age and doesn't work for me now) - BUT - don't forget the big elephant in the room which is the gaping emotional hole from your mother that you keep looking to fill with a relationship. That causes you to go into an even deeper funk than is justified on occasion. Your default position is expecting to be abandoned.
Now might be a good time to read (or reread) Why Men Love B!tches. You are a goddess and he's lucky to have you. But your expectations need to come from confidence not fear of abandonment.
And I'd stop focusing on the PDA in front of his kid. Look, I was 15 when my mom started dating the man who became her second husband. It was a year after my father's death and I was totally intellectually ok with her dating again at that point. It STILL made me EXTREMELY uncomfortable to see them together. I wouldn't rush it with his son, and you need not to take that as a personal rejection of you because it isn't.
Last edited by job; 06/18/1908:05 PM. Reason: edited a word
Last edited by job; 06/20/1902:13 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
