When not in front of her, cry 100% of the time if you have to. In front of her, you are an alpha male. YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR HER! That is how you should feel, and conduct yourself. There is nothing respectful or attractive about a crying, weepy guy. So in front of her you are a rock. You should be taking the attitude that "you are leaving me? YOUR LOSS!" It is hard to cry with that perspective.
Get angry if you have to (internally, not outwardly). Have an attitude of how dare you blame me for your mess! Use that to keep from being the sad, "woe is me" guy.
Steve, you got this. Dudes with our name are strong. Independent. We don't need a woman to know our worth! So find your worth internally. You are awesome, whether she stays or goes! BE AWESOME!
I definitely don't feel that way right now, but I know you're right. I feel like a failure.
Things will get better.
Steve, you are 37. You have been out of high school for 20 years now, right?
Are you still friends with the people you were in high school? I am assuming like the rest of us the answer is no, except in a few very rare cases. Are you a failure for that?
It takes two to make a marriage. Only one to make a divorce. There have been spouses that did everything right and still got left by their spouse and D'd. There is only one person you can control on this blue ball hurdling through space, and she ain't it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Do not get baited into ANY interactions. You have one chance to do this right. Give her what she wants. Separation.
It is extremely important that she misses you. That she worries about you.
This will be tough, because we need to finalize and agree on the separation agreement. I'm not sure how to do that without having a conversation in person.
Do not get baited into ANY interactions. You have one chance to do this right. Give her what she wants. Separation.
It is extremely important that she misses you. That she worries about you.
This will be tough, because we need to finalize and agree on the separation agreement. I'm not sure how to do that without having a conversation in person.
Let her own it. She is the one separating.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
What are your GAL plans tonight? Tomorrow? Sunday?
Tonight, going to the gym and getting a drink and a bite with friends. Tomorrow, I see my trainer, and then heading upstate to a friend's lakehouse with a few guys, having a boys weekend type thing. I'll head straight there to the airport, flying to Europe on some business.
Do not get baited into ANY interactions. You have one chance to do this right. Give her what she wants. Separation.
It is extremely important that she misses you. That she worries about you.
This will be tough, because we need to finalize and agree on the separation agreement. I'm not sure how to do that without having a conversation in person.
Let her own it. She is the one separating.
I'm not sure that's possible - there are going to be things that she won't be able to access. Additionally, I have to BD her that I am sticking firm that she has zero rights to anything pre-M.
I don't see her until Friday. When we went through the first parts of the agreement, we both realized that there's data that we both need to chase down in order to come to the table with everything that we need.
Her view is that we should get through the agreement as soon as possible, so that we can have it behind us and move on with creating space. I have zero doubt that I can fully detach and go no-contact at that point.
Hey SteveS just getting updated on your sich. Im sorry you're hurting buddy. But on the upside, it sounds like you have great GAL plans. I know its not the same without your W. Its going to take some time to get used to life readjusting. I can't even say the same yet, im still IHS on my sich. I can say that when things get so far, there is a part of you that lets go, and a part of you that holds on. One day you are thinking "Ahh freedom!" and another day you're thinking "I miss things the way they used to be." There is another side and Im sure you will eventually get there.
