Had a chat with my NMMNG coach right beforehand, just to make sure I was in the right frame of mind.
Got there a bit earlier than her. When she sat down, immediately said I had a hard stop in an hour. I then set a boundary that while I was happy to work through our separation agreement, I would not agree to anything without consulting my lawyer and that I would strongly prefer that we discuss the logistics of our near-term budget as opposed to anything long-term.
Knowing that one of her chief complaints in the MR was a lack of follow-through on things that I said would do, as well as lack of cooperation, I came prepared with documentation of everything she had questions about in regards to the agreement. Easy 180. She was not prepared, which she assigned to being busy at work.
After getting through the documents, I asked her how things were going in her life, and practiced validating and really actively listening. She mentioned in the context of the discussion and how she was doing that if she was sure of what she wanted, she would have just served me papers, and that my continuing to follow-through and cooperate was meaningful for her, as that was one of her biggest complaints during the R. (For some background, I made/make significantly more money than her, and I routinely made decisions without consulting her and actively resisted making changed to our budget, such as saving more, etc., all of which made her feel like a non-partner. She's right about this one.)
Didn't need to get into anything argumentative or non-constructive regarding asset separation, although I assume that since she now knows I've met with counsel, that I also now know what the law says.
Instead, we mostly just chatted and had a friendly light meal at the local diner. I projected confidence and we fell into a very easy rapport, mostly talking about one of our friends who is going through a really, really ugly break up, as opposed to us, which has been amicable to date. Didn't design it this year, but this dude makes me look amazing in comparison.
So, all in all, not bad. I firmly set my boundaries up front, set the expectation that I had to leave, kept somewhat mysterious of what my plans were, and otherwise tried to visibly show 180s and validate. Also, weirdly, she showed up kind of frumpy and not put together, whereas I made sure to look and smell sharp. I was still attracted to her but it was..not the same. Anyway, probably reading too much into it.
