Steve I need to re center, relax and re focus. I really DONT have time to be away from home. GAL and leaving her with a special needs child I GUARANTEE will piss her off. Not help my cause. I DO Not know how to behave around her on a minute by minute basis. I just don’t.
And why have the things at the house waited until now? If they've waited before then they can wait now. When you aren't spending time with S1, you should be 1) out doing things 2) busy around the house. Strike a balance. I feel that you are uncomfortable not being around her so you are making excuses to stay home.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
ozman I feel you. Its a tough choice between maintaining your home, and maintaining your sanity. Chunk down your priorities and extend what you have to do around the house, and get out and do something pleasurable for you, or you are going to be completely focused on your misery on your situation. Benn going through 10 months if hell of this. Go out alone if you have to. You have to get used to the idea and the emotions that your W is no longer on your top priority list. YOU ARE! Its you, your kids, your family and friends, then you're W if she needs and possibly deserves it. You have to consider it from theyre side. They are unhappy for whatever reason. Lack of connection, lack of feelings, validation, stress overload, MLC, etc. Its doesn't matter. Learn from what mistakes you made and PRIORITIZE YOURSELF FIRST, because another person cannot complete you, and in the M you are no longer ONE or WE. Its back to I.
I’m starting a bankruptcy. All the involved paperwork. I’m also trying to get old tax stuff taken care of
My past mistakes were prioritizing myself first. That’s what I keep saying guys. The DBing approach for me is to change nothing except help more around the house!!!
I really am stuck!
Last edited by Cadet; 07/09/1907:18 PM. Reason: combine posts
1 complimenting her looks 2 bringing her her coffee 3 helping more around house
You guys agree with all these?
Sometimes. Depending on the person, the sitch and the timing.
They may help in your sitch. Try them. Watch her reaction.
If you make coffee for you, pour two cups and bring her one.
Pull equal weight in maintaining the house/cars/child care etc. Don't just plop on the couch and watch TV for hours while she is doing all the work. She will resent you for this. Same thing, do not do everything while she does nothing.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
