And boom. We talk about finances. Back to square 1.
Sure wish I could go back and do it all right. If it was her it would be easier. But it was me who caused the problems. Me who caused the pain.
That makes it so much worse
So we just went through our wedding pics ( her doing not mine) and tree away bad ones( we had a terrible photographer). Very awkward. Don’t know what o think of it.....
Last edited by Cadet; 07/09/1907:19 PM. Reason: combine posts
Steve. I was working in office. Boxes piled high. It’s what needed done. I have a lot of old papers and stuff in there I needed to get trough and it’s the room that needed the most unpacking. She came in there. Grabbed a box that had our wedding album in it. (NOT MY DOING). She then pulled out the pics and handed half to me. She said “ here go through these and let’s throw away bad ones ( we had some that were really blurry). We then put all the good ones back. Then the next box, then the next and so on...
What was I supposed to do? So no and leave the room? I didn’t know what to say
She started off in a great mood. Asked a question about finances while I was cooking. I answered it. She has been in a crap mood the rest of the day.
So yea. I was staying busy. Am I supposed to leave a room when she walks into it?
Last edited by Cadet; 07/09/1907:20 PM. Reason: combine posts
I can’t just leave the house like that and go off galavanting while she’s at home with S. Plus S was puking all over today with fever. I gotta stay home with him tomorrow
I can’t just leave the house like that and go off galavanting while she’s at home with S. Plus S was puking all over today with fever. I gotta stay home with him tomorrow
ozman, you're going to continue to struggle unless you drop the excuses.
Look, when we get BD'd every ounce of our instinct is to be around our WAS 24/7. It feels like the right thing to do. It feels safer that way. It feels like that's how we remain in control. To be away makes us frightened, wondering what she's doing, anxious, and worried. But based on statistics it is the wrong approach.
*Things have to be done around the house." "S1 is sick." "I can't just go off and leave her at home." All garbage. You know why? Because when you two are divorced you won't be around to help her with any of that. She'll be home alone, or with an OM, no matter what needs to be done around the house, if S1 is sick or not. Period.
She declared the marriage dead. She said she wanted a D. Well..... Maybe she needs to learn what that will be like. That's part of the point of GAL. And detachment. Nothing woke my W up faster than realizing what not having me around really meant.
Ozman, I'm sorry to say, but at your current rate it's only a matter of time before you push her or if the marriage entirely. We've seen it here before with LBSs that didn't really want to DB.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Oz , you are getting some great advice . I know how hard it is and your emotional instinct is going haywire. You need to change your focus if you want to succeed . GAL is more important than you can imagine in so many ways . It gives you and her a break , it changes your focus away from her every little move , it will improve you core happiness and loads more .
You are in a better position than most my friend and that means you have to start listening to the people trying to help you . You sound like a great guy , you can do this , you CAN do it , it just takes time
