The first chapter of Divorce Remedy is aptly named "Start with a beginner's mind".
Oz, you really need to go back to square one. You're in deep water and you don't know how to swim well. You don't have the basics down but you're trying to read the tarot cards on a pair of skivvies? Slow down, breathe, think. Give her the space she is looking for. Use that space to learn and grow in all areas of life.
How many times have you read the welcome post?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Ok guys. They were old undies . Just haven’t seen them in a while. I actually still don’t think she is having an A but regardless you are right. I’m gonna Alpha up. I actually looked in the mirror today and thought for the first time in a long time. “Damn you look kinda good”. Not gonna lie it felt really nice. When she got home from work ( I stayed home with sick S today) she opened up about her job, the people there, how she felt about her job, everything. She just kept talking. I didn’t say much, looked her in the eyes and validated when appropriate. She laughed, talked about the stuff that sucked etc
I realized that my go to position when listening to her is looking away with my arms crossed (closed body). I stood and kinda had a cool open body position. I felt attractive standing there. I gave her compliments when appropriate (one about her looks, one about her skills as a mother). She was very bummed she couldn’t be home with S while he is sick. She is an amazing mom.
Have no idea if this is alpha or correct DBing or not but it felt nice.
Ovvrnbw. Your right. You guys are all right. I just need to chill. Hard for me to do. Thanks for everything. I appreciate your guys interpretation of how things are going.
Thank you everybody
Last edited by Cadet; 07/09/1907:23 PM. Reason: combine posts
Mornin. Feelin good so far today. W was as friendly this morning as she has. Even since BD. trying not to read into it. She is staying home with sick S today.
Trying not to read too much into it.
May sound stupid but how did I do last night?
Also how do I make her feel sexy in a non needy way?? And how do I get out of friend zone?
Last edited by ozman; 07/09/1901:33 PM. Reason: Missed a question
Lh19. I do think it’s bull. I’m asking how to get out?
She hung around me this morning and it really felt like she was waiting on an ILY. I actually thought about for a split second but didn’t. She is changing pretty quickly (for the better).
It was really awkward for a couple seconds. I walked out to pickup. She followed me to get some papers and then just stood there like waiting tentatively.
Me : well..... Her: well have a good day Me: you have a good day too... Her: just standing there staring at me. Nervous laugh. Walked away
She is attracted to me I can tell. It feels like I need to make a move but I’m trying to keep my instincts at bay.
I think part of her love language is being heard. I think the eye contact is actually helping a lot.
Steve. Haven’t made any plans for weekend yet. S is really sick. I’ve been worried about him.
I also have a genuine question. If your W is at a tipping point of wanting to come back to R. Isn’t it our job to give a little nudge?
I learned about this from a neighbor who picked up in something was off between W and me. The she said “I don’t think she is having an A but she has thought about it. Like she is weighing her options” And really needs someone to talk to because she is emotionally disconnected from you. But she always opens up to me and you can tell she is looking for an emotional connection.”
My neighbor is very intuitive and has actually counciled some couples back from bad things
The 4 of us were visiting last night and neighbors W told me today
“When you walked outside and started visiting with us. Your W looked like she was judging you. Scrutinizing your every move. Like she was waiting for you to mess up”
Neighbor thinks W haven’t decided anything but is trying to weigh pros and cons
^^^^ Hypergamy in a nutshell. Weighing options, lack of respect, sexual and emotional repulsion, scrutinizing every move waiting to undermine and criticize. Plan A, Plan B, or Plan C ? Get it?
