DIL came over tonight and let me know that STBX has started introducing "J" to the family. He introduced her as his GF to a cousin.
She did some digging and realized that it was the same J that I thought he had been with.
So...for 3 1/2 years he had a girlfriend.
Of course I was sad, and grossed out, but then I was relieved.
It all makes sense now. I was out of the country and came home to find out he went to an attorney.
He started seeing her that summer.
He told me the divorce was because we had too many arguments. I was not a good wife. I had issues etc etc.
So now I know.
He is trying to play it off to the kids that this is a new relationship.
I told DIL what I knew and that it wasn't my problem anymore.
GF isn't much to look at but she was his partners old assistant. She transferred jobs shortly after they started seeing each other. She was going through her own divorce when they hooked up. She has two young children.
I don't understand the cheating. But more than that - why the deceit. For so long.
I gave him chance after chance to just tell me.
I'm glad the divorce is almost final.
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
They will deny even in the face of evidence. There are very few that just come in one day and admit they met someone, have been cheating, and are leaving to be with the OP. In fact, the very few couples that start their Rs in adultery and end up together long-term and married will usually change their "how we met" history to leave out the part about cheating on one or both of their spouses at the time. It is the way people rationalize things that are obviously morally bankrupt to themselves.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Last edited by job; 01/09/2110:07 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
