Damn Steve. Something just clicked. I don’t know what. But something did. Let’s see if this is right
1 When she Bd me, in her head, she ended the marriage, whevwassnt wearing her ring, it’s just over
2 I DID go into super husband mode. Which seem to puss her off at first. Then she actually told me she appreciates it
3. I asked her who you talking too a while back “my sister, but it doesn’t matter” was her reply. Because in her head she can text whoever she wants cause we are done right?
4. She became nicer to me and more drawn to me because I removed pressure. But it didn’t mean anything just that we know each other and she is comfortable and I’m just a friend
5 it’s all over and I have a tiny chance but it’s not likely
Am I right?
Not bad.
However:
6. By going back to removing all pressure and pursuit, giving her time and space, she may eventually decide that she wants to recommit to the marriage. BUT this could take a long time....
So the question is, do you have the patience to see where this ends up? Or will continue to do things that will assure and faster, though not what you want, outcome?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve always hits the nail on the head and you need to listen to the advice you get here....but it will take getting the same advice 100x until it sinks in....it is NOT easy to get there!
You will never know how this will end up but your #5 should be that the man you were before BD is over. You were a man that attracted this woman and somewhere you stopped being that person. We all did, it is 100% a recurring situation here just with different spins.
Your pre BD self is over.....you need to get yourself back!
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
and if you look at my stats in my signature, I was in the mode you are in for about 6-7 months, thought I was there then would spiral back. Back and forth, losing my mind for months.
Then I did decide that I have two kids, I want to be happy, I'm not doing this anymore. And I tell you I thought I dropped the rope about 10 times along the way....it's not easy.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
5 it’s all over and I have a tiny chance but it’s not likely
Steve's partner was sending OM very personal photos before his sitch turned around!
Suppose we ended it today, what would be our next steps? GAL, 180 what holds us back in life. Suppose we didn't end it today, what would be our next steps? GAL, 180 what holds us back in life. I have no burning desire to download Tinder today--GAL, 180s, wait and see what shakes out maximizes our chances.
I think it clicked. Like I feel awake. I was under the illusion she was really conflicted about what to do. I’m starting to think she isn’t. She may have had the tiniest of second thoughts from my 180s and lack of P&P. But I took it for more than it was.
I gotta go find myself
What are my chances of reconciliation. Give it to me straight. If I dB perfectly. What’s my chances
1) Oz was single playing in a band. Not much experience with women. 2) Oz meets W. 3) Oz gets her pregnant. 4) Oz marries her. 5) special needs S is born.
5) Oz and W move to rural area and OZ is a farmer. W deals with SN son while OZ works alot. W tells oz she has never been faithful before 6) Resentment build up over time W is unhappy 7) OZ and W move back to her town. 8) W is texting alot and has secret lunches with co-worker 9) Sex life [censored] 10) Oz gets bomb dropped 11) OZ becomes super husband 12) Oz finds DB site 13) Oz gets all kinds of confusing advise.Some or all seams foreign or conflicting. 14) Oz wants to gets his balls back from his W, but he doesn't know how.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I think it clicked. Like I feel awake. I was under the illusion she was really conflicted about what to do. I’m starting to think she isn’t. She may have had the tiniest of second thoughts from my 180s and lack of P&P. But I took it for more than it was.
I gotta go find myself
What are my chances of reconciliation. Give it to me straight. If I dB perfectly. What’s my chances
Only she knows that......and you DO NOT want to ask her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
What are my chances of reconciliation. Give it to me straight. If I dB perfectly. What’s my chances
Anywhere from 0-100%. I have seen examples where someone DB's perfect and they do not reconcile. Other examples of people doing everything wrong and the spouse has a change of heart. Each sitch is different.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
