It’s really something seeing your life summed up in 14 bullet points. Wow.
All of a sudden my wife seems very foreign to me. Like she is on a path I cannot follow. Like she is blinded by pain and loneliness and she is looking for something to fill the void
She probably has this wild crush on a guy who is mysterious and cool and new. (Like a new car). And when she comes home it’s to her husband who is
Not mysterious. Has a lot of debt Brought lots of baggage Chronically ill Weird balding spot from radiation damage
I guess I get it.
Something she said night of bomb drop. “I didn’t ask for this”. Then she brought up cancer.
Yup she is a different person. I miss the old her. But this new her is kinda like a child
I think I’m gonna go to this wedding. (It’s at a casino). And get my proof. Or maybe I don’t want proof. I don’t know. All I know is that for the first time I feel like giving up
It’s really something seeing your life summed up in 14 bullet points. Wow.
Most here all have the same bullets, maybe a few if different order like with the marriage first then the children. Or no children.
Here are the next two of the list:
15) OZ decided he needs to be happy without W. Oz GAL and does exciting things without W. Oz splits parenting responsibilities 50/50 with W. OZ is supper dad. 16) Oz learns how to be attractive to all women. He maintains his personal boundaries. He does not let fear control him.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Oz, I know you said money is tight, but go buy a box of 50 rounds. Go to the gun range. And put 50 holes in a paper target.
The concentration it takes. The focus it takes. The way that shooting consumes all of your attention. It will do your mind well! I wouldn't have traded the gun range for anything going through my sitch.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
and if you look at my stats in my signature, I was in the mode you are in for about 6-7 months, thought I was there then would spiral back. Back and forth, losing my mind for months.
Then I did decide that I have two kids, I want to be happy, I'm not doing this anymore. And I tell you I thought I dropped the rope about 10 times along the way....it's not easy.
And that's theTruth dropping the Rope 10 times along the way.
You could be good for days or even weeks or even months just trying to focus on yourself, and then all the sudden out of the blue you have a moment of weakness where you remember the past, and how things were. Then you have to remind yourself to not give in to that weakness and be strong and remember that the person that you are with now is not the person that you remember. it's cold but they don't love you anymore like they used to and I don't think of you the way they used to in that moment of weakness when you think of it. This is what essentially creates the internal struggles within ourselves. That you have to make a hard and concise decision on whether to walk away or not from keeping on dealing with the emotional pain that things aren't the way that they used to be, and any life looks better and more appealing than limbo. But what we secretly and really wish for is a work through these things in our marriage so that we don't lose it lose the person that we truly love. But we still have to put principal before passion if we ever are going to make the wiser choice. I'm willing to bet that a lot of you here if your W came to you immediately today and said hey let's reconcile? After all we put them through and all they put us through, you know that there's going to be some terms and conditions on both parties.
How do you grieve all this. What do I do with the last 10 years of good memories. The vacations. The good times. We didn’t have many bad times. We didn’t fight hardly at all. She always has bragged about our conflict resolution and how well we got along to other people
We filled each other’s gaps we would say. (Rocky movies)
How do you grieve all this. What do I do with the last 10 years of good memories. The vacations. The good times. We didn’t have many bad times. We didn’t fight hardly at all. She always has bragged about our conflict resolution and how well we got along to other people
We filled each other’s gaps we would say. (Rocky movies)
ozman. How would you grieve if your W were to have died on BD, instead of BDing you? It is very similar. It is okay to grieve. The loss is real. Do not run from your emotions. Just don't have your emotions shown in front of her. Go cry in private. Grieving is a process. Go through the process.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
How do you grieve all this. What do I do with the last 10 years of good memories. The vacations. The good times. We didn’t have many bad times. We didn’t fight hardly at all. She always has bragged about our conflict resolution and how well we got along to other people
We filled each other’s gaps we would say. (Rocky movies)
Yeah I bet you make a sharp couple of coconuts! Remember what I said? Take her to the zoo!
Make time for it. Do it in private. Do it in the car. Find a parking lot without too many people. Park and cry or scream....NEVER in front of wife. Get yourself back together. Then be happy while she is around. (Crazy I know). Cry quietly in the shower if needed. Put music on loud while in the shower.
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What do I do with the last 10 years of good memories. The vacations. The good times.
They are your memories. Keep them. If they make you feel good, then bring them to your mind when needed.
Anytime you want to feel good, bring up good memories. When W is spewing at you..tune her out and think about good memories.
You can handle this.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
