I wonder if her sexual assault from high school (she never dealt with it) has any lingering effects to any of this. I guess its up to her to figure out.
Here's my attitude about that- almost everyone goes through some kind of traumatic event growing up. If she went on to a successful career and a happy marriage for many years afterwards then she chose for it not to shape her life, and GOOD FOR HER. So no, it probably has nothing to do with your current situation. My XW was heavily abused by a boyfriend when she was in college including numerous death threats and waking up in the middle of the night to him standing over her with a steak knife poised over her chest. Despite that we had a wonderful relationship for over 20 years and I feel it had no bearing on BD, S or D.
Yes, we are living separate since Feb 1/19. She was here for two months after her dad died late March but she would go back to her place 1 or 2x/week if it was convenient (appointment in the morn or baseball game late).
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
W texted me early in the day to see if I was able to be home by 8pm tonight (her night with our S, at my house) so she could take a last minute cancelation with a psychiatrist she was hoping to see.
So, she's currently (unless she's lying) in her first session with a psychiatrist.
10 days ago she said she only had "issues" when she was with me and she didn't think she needed to see anyone. She said she was happier on her own. I guess this is why one of the rules is believe nothing they say and half of what they do.
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
Does anyone have experience with a WW who leaves behind a child? This has to be pretty rare right? Especially for someone who was an involved mother previously, and a good one.
I suppose we may see a lot of it on this forum but this is a small subset of the actual population.
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
Does anyone have experience with a WW who leaves behind a child? This has to be pretty rare right? Especially for someone who was an involved mother previously, and a good one.
We do read about from time to time. It is difficult to understand how a mother could not want to be with her small child, but didn't she tell you she did not want any responsibilities? Here's the thing about WW's.......they want to be free from whatever they see holds them down. Maybe it is their MR, their child, their church, their parent(s), or whatever requires their obligation. In other words, they shun whatever/whoever cramps their style.
What does your lawyer advise, should your W refuse to sign separation agreement?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi...we didn't talk about what would happen if she doesn't sign. I'll ask once they send me the proposal.
I understand what you are saying about the WW. And she's disregarding all of her previous close relationships. Her mom is a recent widow and was upset the other day bc my W never calls her to check in on her. Yes, my W did say she wanted to run from responsibilities.
I'll continue to be the lighthouse. The only reason we are doing the S agreement (and after 2 weeks she is still yet to see a L) is bc she hasn't been contributing a fair amount during this.
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
Yes as Sandi said it happens. Previously doting and loving mothers (fathers too) suddenly wanting nothing to do with their children. It can be extremely difficult to come to terms with, it just really highlights how your W is not the same person you knew and loved. She may come out of it or she may not, it can't be predicted. I can't remember if Michele said this in her books or if it was one of the vets here, but when they disconnect the go in this order- spouse, children, family, friends. When they reconnect (if they ever do) they do so in the opposite order.
Does anyone have experience with a WW who leaves behind a child? This has to be pretty rare right? Especially for someone who was an involved mother previously, and a good one.
I suppose we may see a lot of it on this forum but this is a small subset of the actual population.
Not as rare as you might think. WWs are especially susceptible to this phenomenon.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
