Maybe I know what to do 6

[neffer]

There´s a crowd here man!

Please stick with me guys.

I’m worth it

YAY!

There´s a crowd here man!

[DejaVu6]

Of course you are worth it Ozman!!! People here are just speaking from so much experience and you are not alone when it comes to LBS's not seeing the forest for the trees sometimes. We just know that IF there is ever going to be a chance for recon, you DRASTICALLY INCREASE your chances if you get on board with DBing sooner rather than later. That's why people get frustrated. They don't want to see you making the mistakes that so many of us on here have. Keep at it!! (((HUGS)))

[Ready2Change]

We just know that IF there is ever going to be a chance for recon, you DRASTICALLY INCREASE your chances if you get on board with DBing sooner rather than later. That's why people get frustrated. They don't want to see you making the mistakes that so many of us on here have. Keep at it!! (((HUGS)))

You drastically increase your chances by making changes sooner rather than later.

Add traits to your behavior that women in general find attractive.
Remove all traits that women find unattractive.
Add traits to your behavior that you know W finds attractive.
Wake up the next day and repeat.

[Ready2Change]

R2C. My intentions are to get some skills in the flirting and turning a woman on dept

I have to work everyday at turning my woman on. Things that worked in the past, might not work now or in the future. It is always a constant challenge.


How do I make her laugh? Laughing is a response to surprise. What she laughed at today, she might smile about the next time. The next time, no response. I do it again, I get the "Really??" look.

Same thing with turning her on. I am on skype 4x a day with her while I am gone. We will be talking about the kids or the dogs...Then out of the blue, I will say "Stop that..I know what you are thinking"... implying she is having dirty thoughts. With her, my communication is all about seduction. I entertain her. Confuse her. Make her miss me. make her wish she was here with me. If she is relaxed, I will tell her what I would be doing sexually with her if I was with her.


Of course, this will not work for you RIGHT NOW. You need to constantly be testing the waters and adjust.


Harmless flirting is different than seduction. You have intent with seduction. Harmless flirting is making the other person feel good.

[ozman]

Testing the waters with W? How?

[TBSakaJ9]

Women love men that call them out on their [censored]. The good women will make it easy on you, the will help you be the MAN. The crappy ones will test and test and test, never giving an inch, they will make it very hard for you, constantly challenge your boundaries, the decisions you make, etc.

Really anything you do now is going to be considered pursuit so I don't think you can really test the waters.

IMO you have to work on building her attraction levels, getting her respect, and getting her to a place to where she can't resist you. Get her in a position of chasing you vs you chasing her.

In general though you should always be gauging and taking inventory of your W's or GF's attraction levels. Taking inventory of her complaints and how she is acting towards you. It never ends and when you put it on cruise control is when crap like this usually happens. It happens because you deviated from what caused her to be attracted to you in the first place.

[ozman]

Hey guys. Hope everyone is well

So I just wanted to give you guys a GAL update. Friday I went to dentist with THAT pain. (You know how it feels). So just veged Friday night. Saturday I woke up with the flu. But it was like the fast flu cause I was feeling better that evening. Before I could come up with a GAL. W suggested we go buy some frisbees and take S and the dogs to the park. Couldnt help it that sounded pretty fun. We had a very good time

This morning feeling recovered fully I got up early and did my run. Which I’m really starting to enjoy. Got back. Cooked a late breakfast with the W then was out the door to help a buddy on his 69 truck. Really enjoyed hangin out with him he’s becoming a good friend. I realized I wasn’t thinkin about W too much and just enjoying myself

Got back we both cleaned house (equal amount). So I’m not bein a doormat!!

She wanted to get out of house for a bit to pick up some stuff we needed. So I offered to stay home with S so she could get some air. She’s bringing supper home

I accidentally called her “babe”. Waited for some sort of backlash but nothing so that’s cool. We are getting along better than ever. She dropped a few compliments which is ) nice

I haven’t paid this much attention to MYSELF in years I’m actually enjoying it. I have actually realized I’m gonna be OK no matter what. I want her. But I don’t NEED her. HOW ABOUT THAT.

Her moods have little affect over me so when she does get sour (which is rare). It doesn’t really affect me

I can just see Steve telling me “I told you so” lol. Hopefully I haven’t frustrated you guys too bad lol

I feel like I’m in a good spot. If she said she’s moving out and nothing has changed. I could handle it like a man. With dignity and in total control of my emotions

I actually have a desire to GAL now. It’s less of a struggle. And I’m enjoying the prospect of finding new things

I’m still struggling on figuring out how to make myself more attractive though. Ditto on the seducing side too

Anyways. Have a good’un

Oz

[Hallzy9]

Hey oz,

I can tell you are starting to get it. Not posting around the clock and far less questions about how to react to her behavior. Keep it up! I feel that accepting your sitch is a big step. At first all of our alarms are going off that we need to act now and do something! But once you settle in to the current events of your situation and accept it for what it is, it seems much easier to focus on bettering yourself and not trying to control the W. It is what it is. Keep up the GAL, it’s so important for your well being.

[Ready2Change]

I’m still struggling on figuring out how to make myself more attractive though. Ditto on the seducing side too

If you confidently confront your biggest fear, you are projecting strength. This is attract to your lady. If she leaves, you will be fine...better than fine, you will thrive.


One key is to let your wife be as emotional as she needs to be. You control your emotions. When she is sad, you are safe to come to. When she is angry, you are safe to come to. When she scared, you are safe to come to. You listen and understand her emotionally. If she needs space, you don't chase after her. When she needs someone to listen, you are safe to come to. Even if it is what you do not want to hear.

Just be there and study her face while she talks. Look at things you enjoy about her. Look at her eyes, then down to her lips...think about kissing them, but do not act...go back to her eyes. Think about good times you have had with her.


Google the feeling chart images:
Emotions and Feelings Charts | Three to five for Twenty-Four




Attraction and seduction is like a big onion with many layers.

[ozman]

That website is confusing