I am starting to get very hateful towards my w!!! I am seriously losing a lot of love for this “monster”. I feel like it’s time she just becomes a colleague. We are in the business of raising our children. I am tired of being Mr. Niceguy. I will treat her like a colleague for now on. It’s sad how much love I have had for this woman for so long and quickly diminishing. I really don’t know if I even want her anymore. The one thing I have seen. She is becoming more and more angry in general. How she just wants to get away from me and the kids. So much she booked a 4 day trip with her girlfriends. And she says she deserves it. Lmao you deserve a vacation for destroying a family??? Go for it. I could use the piece and quiet. She has become so miserable it’s unbearable and I feel bad for the kids!! I think she is starting to notice my detachment. Because she thinks I am being mean just being cordial to her. She asks me all the time what’s the problem. I say everything is great why? She is not use to be not being lovey dovey with her and always been concerned with her. Man I wish I did this sooner. It was just hard for me. The rope is slowly dropping.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
I've been divorced for a year it's a thousand times better then WW bs! You'll get there too if you put in the work.
No more whiny posts from you about your w. Start posting your GAL activities, goals, plans for the future, how you're improving your relationship with your daughter.
Took the kids out today to a bouncy house place with their friends. Then took the kids to a playground and then dinner. Afterwards went back to the house w was not there so I stayed with them and had a good time just goofing around with both of them. My d will have fun with me when w is not around. When she is around she tries to show her how much she hates me. Tomorrow going to try and hustle in my real estate career. Going to go to the gym first then hustle. Don’t know if it is a no no but I have been seeing someone who I am really started to get interested in. Looking forward to seeing this person tomorrow night in the city. It’s nice to have someone who cares about me just like I care about them. This person and I have such a good time and have a lot in common and have the same ideas on what we expect in a relationship.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Another rough day. My w was just spitting fire. All because I went to the house to pick up my d and my d gave me a hard time as always that she doesn’t want to go with me. So of course w takes out on me that it’s my fault that we should have left right away. I asked my w a couple of days before if it was ok for me to bring some stuff over to make breakfast.
I don't understand your purpose in preparing breakfast at W's place, when you know how your D acts about leaving with you. Have you tried my suggestion of telling your W you will pick the kids at xx time and to have them ready to leave when you pull up in the driveway? That way, you bypass the drama in the house, plus it puts the responsibility of having the kids ready on her shoulders, instead of everything being your fault. Don't go inside the house to plead with your D. If she isn't waiting by the door, then leave without her. Your W will get fed up with her, and will see that D gets her fanny in gear. As long as you persist in going inside, it's going to fall on you.
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My d was saying she didn’t feel good but every time she has to go with me it’s the same excuse. W said it’s not fair that she is a prisoner in the house. I said I understand how you could feel that way it must be frustrating. She gets so mad when I validate.
Perhaps she feels you are patronizing, rather than sincerely validating.
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Again I said I can see how that can be frustrating.
Since this seems to make her angry, try saying something else, rather than repeating yourself. Check out Wonka's validation cheat sheet.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
IMO you are not even close to being ready to date and this reeks of your codependency tendencies.
I get what you are saying. I’m just dating. Codependency? Look I loved my wife and family and yes it is hard for me to go through this divorce. I have dates 2 other women already and I was not attached to them. As a matter of fact I stopped seeing them, not the other way around. So I didn’t need them. And those things just happened. This is one of the ways I am GAL. I am dating. It nice to see what else is out there. Makes me wonder how I ever fell in love with my wife. These other women had been very caring treated me like a king which my w never did. The reality for me is I have been in This situation for a year. I fought hard for my w and has done nothing. I have no more fight in me anymore. I want to live and enjoy the company of another. I don’t know LH how you did it for 2.5 years. There is no reason for me to fight she is a very stubborn woman and would rather die than admit she was wrong. Besides she ABSOLUTELY loves this new life. Where I have the kids and she can go out all the time and party. She is NOT coming back. I have a better chance of hitting the lotto. Seriously!!!
I wish things worked out like Steve did and is working things out. But that will never happen. This is what my w does, she cuts people out of her life permanently. Granted we have kids together but we will NEVER be a couple again. Honestly I don’t know if I want to anymore either. Dating has opened my eyes to how I should have been treated in this relationship. As an equal. Not me doing everything for her since day 1. I listen to these other women how they handle life and responsibilities. My w, all she did was complain about life. She had the nerve to say to me a couple of times, That she never thought that she would ever have to cook, clean or work. I mean really. She knew my profession when we got married. All she ever did when we got married was complain about how much she hates to cook and clean. Work has its ups and downs for her. I have said it before and I will say it again. I was duped into getting married. She just wanted to be the first out of her friends to be married. I see that now. She wanted to be first to have kids. And now she feels like it was all a mistake because she is “missing” out on life. She doesn’t want to be a mother or a wife anymore. That’s enough of my rant for now!!!
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Another rough day. My w was just spitting fire. All because I went to the house to pick up my d and my d gave me a hard time as always that she doesn’t want to go with me. So of course w takes out on me that it’s my fault that we should have left right away. I asked my w a couple of days before if it was ok for me to bring some stuff over to make breakfast.
I don't understand your purpose in preparing breakfast at W's place, when you know how your D acts about leaving with you. Have you tried my suggestion of telling your W you will pick the kids at xx time and to have them ready to leave when you pull up in the driveway? That way, you bypass the drama in the house, plus it puts the responsibility of having the kids ready on her shoulders, instead of everything being your fault. Don't go inside the house to plead with your D. If she isn't waiting by the door, then leave without her. Your W will get fed up with her, and will see that D gets her fanny in gear. As long as you persist in going inside, it's going to fall on you.
I went into the house because I wanted to make them breakfast. Just trying to be a good dad. But as always it backfired on me. I will do that, tell her to have the kids ready by a certain time. I am telling you now I already know her response. She will say, oh so now it’s my responsibility to get the kids ready for you. You just come and pick up the kids and don’t have to do anything and I will have to deal with them. I could probably put that in quotes. No matter what it’s alwasy my fault or I am making her do something for me. I can’t win with anything. Sandi since you have been down this road, were you like that? What do I say or do when I will always be wrong. And I feel she just gets more resentful with everything I do. Like I have other motives.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Who gives a flying fuch if she gets resentful towards you. Stop trying to please her. I’ve asked you several times if you read NMMNG. You never respond. That book is DB 101 especially written for you. Everything you do is for her love and approval and when she doesn’t give it to you then you double down harder. She treats you like $hit and then you try even harder. Then you come to the board and state that you can’t believe she’s doing this after all you do for her. Rinse recycle repeat. Your acts are not genuine you want something in return. That’s selfish. Dating right now while your married is selfish. Abandoning your kids because you couldn’t deal with your W is selfish. Expecting her to stay in an unhappy marriage is selfish.
I’m sorry for being harsh but you just don’t get it. There are no short cuts. You have to do the work. Stat by reading NMMNG!
