I agree, take it as a first date. You go in confident and lead the way! Assume she wants you to touch her, be romantic, etc. Touch, tease , and tell her what to do.
Tickets were 20 bucks. I just sold my wheat crop. I have a little money right now
I’m really nervous about starting contact with her. Grabbing her hand or anything like that sounds like pursuing. I feel like I’m just getting the hang of detaching and GAL. I’m just starting to feel comfortable by myself. I hate to set myself back.
Steve I’m getting into IC too! Oh and the book “no more mr nice guy” is awesome so far
Grabbing her hand sure seems like a big step
If you can afford it, go for it! As R2C said she made the move here. So there is nothing against DBing that says you shouldn't accept. I do think you need to temper your expectations. I have gone to concerts with a few girls as "friends". Just because she wants to go to a show with you doesn't mean you are out of the FZ just yet.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Ok maybe I misled you a bit. Didn’t mean to. We had been talking about goin to this concert for a while but hadn’t done anything about it. Then she just called me today to say she was gonna buy the tickets She didn’t ask if I wanted to go though. She just bought me a ticket. So I guess that seems like an invite Then she sent me a funny text that said she had them and she is really excited
Oh side note. Tell me how I did. If you remember I have done terrible in the past about worrying about my health and getting scared come MRI time. My MRI is sep 4. I haven’t said a word about it. Which I normally start getting really anxious about a month before. She saw it on the calendar yesterday. Usually I want her to come with me and be there. This time......
Her : (looks at calendar and swears under her breath) Me : what’s wrong Her: I didn’t realize your MRI coming up so soon. I don’t know what to do about my job Me: you don’t have to go unless you want to. It up to you. I can handle it by myself Her. Hmm I guess we’ll see
Major win for me
Waited too long to refresh. Just saw all your replies
Her : (looks at calendar and swears under her breath) Me : what’s wrong Her: I didn’t realize your MRI coming up so soon. I don’t know what to do about my job Me: you don’t have to go unless you want to. It up to you. I can handle it by myself Her. Hmm I guess we’ll see
Major win for me
Bigger win- "Don't worry about it, I've got it covered." Don't be wishy washy, that's more NMMNG stuff coming out.
Originally Posted by ozman
I played in a bad mitten tourney.
I'm guessing you meant badminton, but a "bad mitten" tourney sounds way better and is something I would totally be down for
Assume she wants you to touch her, be romantic, etc. Touch, tease , and tell her what to do.
Assume might be the wrong word. I believe it is more of an acute awareness of how she is responding to you.
It all starts when she is getting ready:
H:"I am taking S to sitter while you are getting ready. I will pick you up at x:15"
In the car ride, is she having a pleasant experience? The smell, the temperature, the music. Do not ask about the temperature. Set it to where she is comfortable. If she looks cold, turn it up a bit, if she looks hot, turn it down. Music low so she can talk. This is a good time to let her talk (and you listen). NO R TALK from you.
Building up sexual tension is your goal. Making and breaking physical contact. Not taking anything she does personally. Pleasantly surprising her. Start out as small and non-sexual as possible. If she responds positively, then step it up a notch. If you do things perfectly, she MAY move in for a kiss.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Thanks guys. There is a lot of really great advice here. You guys really are kick a$$!
I don’t really know her love language R2C. Maybe........ words of affirmation then acts of service. I don’t really know
I know she thinks very little of herself. She is self loathing.
What I can’t get over is. How much I’m actually starting to enjoy this journey. How messed up does that sound. I’m learning about myself. I’m bettering myself. I’m taking time for myself. I’m starting to enjoy my life. This is nuts.
And in doing all this. My W seems like she is thinking “this guy is different”. And if she doesn’t bite and decides to go. Her loss! This really is crazy. It’s like every day I get off work it’s “how awesome can I be and how much fun can I have today “.
I’m starting to see the value in me as well. I’m not a bad guy. I’ve got crap to work on. But I’m WORTH having.
Do you know how much this has helped my cancer journey? Aside from living healthy. I can’t control it. It will be what it will be
Total side note. Please don’t take this as actual.
I feel like I could conquer the world right now. Is that a bad thing?
I’m pumped for tomorrow night. Regardless how it goes
