Just a thought Steve considering she is a SAHM, Christ follower, etc. Maybe she could fit the mold of desiring something different, "the bad boy", the lifestyle of no responsibilities, etc.
One of my XW's best friend was married to a guy for 20 years who was a buttoned up, polo guy, clean shaving, good dad, your proto typical professional.
She divorced him for some dude that was bald, had a bunch of tat's, a big old foo man choo, and was jacked. Looked like he was straight out of some motorcycle club.
Just explore the possibilities of what her desires might be.
Maybe her problem isn't yours to solve. Maybe what is missing is on her. From some of the stuff you shared, I tend to believe it is.
Steve, I expect you and I are alike in often thinking that we have to fix everything. I think that is often a big mistake.
Boundaries and let them figure out what is missing. Just don't think you can always do it.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Just a thought Steve considering she is a SAHM, Christ follower, etc. Maybe she could fit the mold of desiring something different, "the bad boy", the lifestyle of no responsibilities, etc.
One of my XW's best friend was married to a guy for 20 years who was a buttoned up, polo guy, clean shaving, good dad, your proto typical professional.
She divorced him for some dude that was bald, had a bunch of tat's, a big old foo man choo, and was jacked. Looked like he was straight out of some motorcycle club.
Just explore the possibilities of what her desires might be.
So which one do you think I fall into? LOL
I shave my head. I have a tat. I usually wear a foomanchoo/goattee (though I am growing a full beard for hunting season). Admittedly I am less "jacked" than I was when her and I met.
However, I also clean up pretty well, where polos to work, and am successful at work as well.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Maybe her problem isn't yours to solve. Maybe what is missing is on her. From some of the stuff you shared, I tend to believe it is.
Steve, I expect you and I are alike in often thinking that we have to fix everything. I think that is often a big mistake.
Boundaries and let them figure out what is missing. Just don't think you can always do it.
All fair comment. I even told her during this last incident that I didn't know if I could make her happy. She said, "it isn't up to you to make me happy." I was impressed with that response.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Timing is important. Now might be too soon. You could also wait too long.
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and both of you get into IC and MC immediately....whatever is not being met is going to fix itself.
Do this.
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You and your W need to figure out what is missing in your R because obviously there are needs not being met.
This is what is important. Maybe "OPEN and HONEST" is missing.
Do your research on this: retrouvaille
Lead your wife through this. You can handle it.
Looked into retrouvaille. My concern is it is catholic based, we are not catholic. That in and of itself is not a problem, but Sunday worship becomes a problem. We will want to step away for a couple hours to worship with like-minded people (not necessarily OUR congregation). The information I read was that that was frowned upon.
I am still open to it though.
Last edited by Steve85; 09/06/1905:15 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
