This is the hardest thing I ever had to deal with.
Yes, it is. It is incredibly painful. However, I try to look at it this way - there can be no growth without pain. I don't always succeed in thinking that, but i give it an effort every day.
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I don’t have a friend who is divorced. All of my friends are married. It is hard to find people to hang out with.
Yes I know the feeling. I live thousands of miles from my family. All of my friends are also married, engaged, or were "couple friends" with myself and W. You know what i do? I hang out with them anyway. Is it awkward and weird at first? Yes. But i like them, I still want to be friends with them and they still want to be friends with me.
I suggest you do not isolate yourself from your real life friends. That's not healthy, Wolf - you need to get out there and force yourself to do it. You will feel better, maybe not at first, but the more you do it the more you will get used to it.
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Accepting the end of my m is extremely difficult. Just like everyone on here never imagined. I never imagined my w would be doing this. She always wanted to portray this perfect life we had, then she snapped. Iron will you asked if there was anything I wanted to do for myself and the answer is no, my life was my family and my enjoyment.
I really need everyone’s help here. Really just the support. It’s obvious I am struggling, I am trying real hard to find positive in my life. But it’s hard. My family was my world and I know people say you still have your kids but it’s not the same. Some days my thoughts go real dark. I have no one. I’m not use to that. Because of my marriage I don’t have a lot of friends anymore. I always feel alone. That’s why I love this board. I know everyone on here has a life but it means so much to me when people respond. I never thought this divorce would break me this bad I was such a strong independent person before I was married. I became husband and family man and lost my sense of strength. Everyday I feel sick to my stomach hoping I will wake from this nightmare. LH tells me all the time I use logic and he is right. How giving up this life we built is better than staying married. I just wish her MLC would end. And my “wife” would come back. Because she is not the same person. Please people I know I am not as strong as a lot of you on here, but please just stay with me. This board is the only place I find strength and love. Most days I feel like the zombies from the walking dead.
We won't give up on you, Wolf. If you ever need to talk, someone will be here to help you. But at the end of the day the only one who can do anything about your situation is you.
You are the one who has the power to control your life. You are the one who has to pick yourself up after getting knocked out. If you think about it, even in a marriage, partners can help each other but they can only do so much. they cannot force the other person to do anything. "You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink."
The person who gets knocked down has to want to help themselves first, then that person needs to do something about it. Take some action. Think positively and get busy doing things about it, even if they don't want to at first.
I feel for you man. This is a tough situation that you didn't want. But there has to be something you wanted to do in life before you met your W. Think about it. Make a list here, take some time and write it out. You will be surprised at how much you always wanted to do.
Wolf. In short you are not alone. I am friendless, (well I have 1 or 2 friends) unsupported, my despise my family's lifestyle and actions, but relate to their mindset in a way. I'm in the middle of moving, refi is done on W part, lost my friends and family through my seperation by me isolating myself from everyone as a result of seperating, probably doing more harm then good to myself because I feel like I've always lost good friends after a breakup, but I have to detach from anyone and anything that reminds me of W and what im losing as a result of marriage failure. BIL moving into home (awkward) , no where to put my stuff, don't have an apartment yet. I get depressed every day but it comes and goes. Little things like listening to You tube videos and cleaning up after myself. Little joy in things. Maybe watching the sun cone up, and work work work, little pleasure in life, but no big purposes for my life, small jealousy of W moving forward in mindset with her life to get what she wants out of it. A part of me wishes i could change my mindset the way she does to get unstuck. The other part of me wishes she took more action. You see that's the problem with me is I have to get my mind right to take action but I'm more susceptible to take action before getting my mindset right. Because I am hyper. I need to create a bucket list or something and achieve it a little at a time. I realize that my attachment to all my previous partners, and women in general, I've never made myself the center of my life. This is something I need to unlearn. That no person can ever make it keep me happy, I have to change my mindset and learn to do it for myself. I have no choice now but to put myself first. That's the scary thing Wolf. Is not knowing where I want to go, what I want to do, how I want to live, and how to take action to get there. Remaining stuck [censored], its hard to quiet the voices and the dialogues in your head that make everything wrong, and everything right, the questions, the what ifs and the influences that are of your own, and that are of other people. Like mind viruses. All the questions, all of the perceptions, who's wrong who's right, what is truth who's truth it is. Am I making the right moves based off of someone else influence, or is it of my own? (That can greatly differ depending on who you are talking to.) All this chatter in your mind and being alone [censored] because it gives you too much room to think, and not enough experience to enjoy. Its no joke when people on here say you must remain in the present. The future makes you anxious, the past makes you depressed. But that is the trickery of the human mind, is that we feel things based on our thoughts, things that are not presently happening right now in real time. It has the ability to keep you repeating the same convos, the same experiences, the same circumstances, and the same tramaus over and over again, even though its not presently happening. The beautiful thing is we can also worry about the future, or we can choose to dream, manifest, and create it, plan for it, do it, risk and all, and actually get there. An emotion is a feeling either of a thought, or an experience. It is a result of that. But it is not us. There is this guy Joe Dispensa on You Tube, I highly recommend his videos which are a little complex in attempting to get your mind in the right frame, and breaking the stuck patterns of the past, as much as we hate going through all of this pain, we must grow from it, or we remain stuck and paralyzed, we must grow from it. Use it to grow from it. I'm tired of being a victim. I'm tired of being depressed, I'm tired losing and not learning to gain from it, I'm tired of habitually repeating the same behaviors even though I don't want to. Its like thoughts become habits and habits become your personna. You get up the same way every morning, you shower, you make your coffee, pack your lunch, drive the same way to work, do the same things, etc, these become habits, we get addicted to familiarity, our thoughts, our comfort zones, and impede our growth. Do something different every day. Whether it be behavioral, habitual, etc. We can't afford to remain attached and stuck and go on this way. We can't afford to think and act the same way if it is not working for us. We can't afford to attach our identities to another person that no longer is one with us, doesn't want us, and isn't willing to work with us any longer. Its draining. You want to hold onto what's familiar, but at what cost? Your sanity, your life, your personality? I don't know who I am anymore, but yet I still do, but I am also going to find out what I am made of by going through the fire. Are you going to sit down in the fire, curl up into a ball and die, or are you going to make the best with what you have, run through it with all your being, and plan to come out the other side? You have a lot to offer going on in your life, don't realize it, and probably are way better off then some of us like myself here. I literally don't have my $hit together, but its going to come. Slowly with every action u take, and every small choice I make not to remain stuck and in the same place, with experience. I also have deeper philosophical questions like what is love and what does it really mean? Is it just attachment to what is familiar? Is it putting yourself first so others can love you for it or putting other people first, so they see your selfless appreciation and sacrifice? Is it letting someone go and honoring their wishes for them to be them? Or trying to convince them that their feelings or perception is not the same as yours and that they are in the wrong? All these schools of thought on life and what is the right way to live it based off of all these influences can be downright confusing when you're searching for it. Because parts of it validate your own mindset in your own experience
Wolf I know Im not your W. I know you miss the affection, the relation, the attention, the experiences, I know you feel lonely, isolated, confused, unrealatable, undesirable, directionless, hurt, scared, angry, resentful, afraid, betrayed, like a failure, lost in your own thoughts, conflicted with your M, society, your spirit, and yourself. (Maybe Im projecting?) If I could give you a hug I genuinely would. You are not alone. But you will only get better if you want to stay commited to the process of getting better.
Wolf... he makes good points and your advice is the essence of what it takes to triumph over depression. Do FIRST, feel SECOND. Too many people want to wait until they feel better to do anything. Depression wants you to do that. The key is to get out there and force yourself to do things and have faith that the positive feelings will come. The second way to tackle it (and you should do both) is to change your mindset and your faulty thinking patterns. Google faulty thinking patterns and see how many apply to you. When you catch yourself thinking that way, look for ways to reframe your thoughts so they are more realistic and hopeful. If you struggle to do this, a good IC can help you with it. The third way is to temporarily go on antidepressants with an anti anxiety component. I know medication is not for everyone and I have always been one of those people but at the height of my sitch, I was desperate so I did it. It helped me quite a bit, IMO. I stayed on them for a few months until I thought I had a handle on things and then weaned myself off.
Some thoughts on being the fifth wheel. Again...it is a mindset. I had some issues with it as well but then when I thought back to my MR, I realized that I had done A LOT without my H for the past five years. He was busy separating himself from me (attending fake medical treatments) so I was alone most of the time. When I did socialize, it was usually without him and I was a fifth wheel most of the time. However, I didn’t feel that way because I was married so the idea of that kept me from seeing myself in that way. It was my mindset not his presence that kept me from feeling that way. When I was feeling my worst, I FORCED myself to do things. I accepted every invitation I got and in doing so, met some new people and also got to know some acquaintances better. I threw a New Year’s party even though it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I had about 30 people in my house and when the clock struck midnight, had lots of people lined up to give me a hug. I had a good time in spite of myself. Reach out to people Wolf. They will reach back. And you will be surprised how many people in your life are going through tough times in their relationships or who have gone through similar things in the past. You are not alone but you will be if you keep to yourself and avoid people. I am planning a great vacation next year with two couples who will be celebrating their 25th wedding anniversaries. I am hoping my current boyfriend will be coming along but I know that I can’t count on it as we have only been dating for five months and the vacation is a year away. So I am mentally prepared to go on my own and TBH, I will be just as happy either way.
Anyway...hang in there. It will get better with time regardless. I went to my kids open house at their school a few days ago and their dad met us there. A year ago, I remember I was resisting the urge to punch him in the face (I would never do it but man I felt like it) the entire time and couldn’t wait to get out of there. I cried on the way home. This time (even knowing that he has replaced me (he had before he left, he just didn’t tell me) and is planning a wedding next year, something I thought I would NEVER be able to handle), I was completely focused on my kids. It felt slightly awkward but overall it was good. My XH and I were friendly, we shared a couple of laughs, we talked a bit of “business” and signed up for parent/teacher interviews together. We walked back to our cars together, I gave my kids BIG hugs, told them to be good for Daddy and waved at them as they drove away. Not gonna lie... that part still stings a bit BUT I am adjusting and I know they are happy as long as they know that I am okay so I make sure I always look okay to them. And for the most part, I am.
Bottom line... I am way to good of a person and I value myself too much to waste time longing to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Does him not wanting to be with me make any sense given how much he claimed to love me in the past and with everything we had built together? Hell to the no. We were debt free living in a beautiful home and making plans for an awesome retirement. Now... he is living with a woman and parenting her two teenagers full-time and his own kids part time, he has purchased a home and has a $500,000 mortgage, he has lost the respect of many friends and family and is counting on an inheritance from his parents to rescue him financially. His parents will likely both live at least another 10 years. My financial situation is quite a bit better as I have a $100,000 mortgage, a rental home that I own with my sister and about $600,000 equity in the house I live in. Even more than that... I have the respect and admiration (for how I have handled this situation) of friends and family (including many members of his family) and I have held onto my self respect. He lost his a long time ago. When I think about this, TBH, I actually feel kind of sorry for him. He thinks he has skipped over the hard parts by attaching himself to someone new. I think the hard times, for him, are yet to come. I just hope my kids are adults by then so they don’t have to witness it first hand.
Keep posting Wolf. I posted A LOT when things were toughest and it made a HUGE difference in my life. (((HUGS)))
Ironwill I am working at picking myself up. I try everyday and say today will be a good day. I try to do things that make me happy and feel better. The days I don’t have the kids I hit the gym for about 1.5 hours. Usually feel much better after that. When I have the kids I try and plan things for us to do.
IH you are very right about what goes on in the head. I am my own worse enemy. My mind is constantly bringing me down. Thinking about the past and how it was. What is my future going to be like? It creates all this anxiousness and anxiety. I just really miss the family dynamic, a lot. We were a team and that is gone. I do get stuck a lot. Then I try to unstick myself. That is not always easy. I’m trying to do more things by myself, trying to get comfortable with myself again. IH you brought up so many great points. I feel like we are living the same life at times. With our w buying us out, not wanting this, few friends, struggling. There are some days that are good. But when they are bad, they are bad. It’s so sad how I hate nice days now. Because it just feels like it’s a day I have no one to share it with.
Dejavu I don’t get it. How can things be going so well and this is the path they choose? My situation was close to that, as far as how we lived life. Our only debt was our home. Money in the bank, 5 vacations a year, big beautiful home, 3 nice cars, 2 beautiful healthy kids, a husband who was around to help all the time. Yet she had the nerve to say numerous times, “I wouldn’t wish this life on my worse enemy.” Are you serious??? You know how many people would kill to have this life and you say that. For my w it was never enough. She always wanted more and more and more. So yeah at times I had to tell her we couldn’t go on that $10,000 vacation, we don’t have the money for it. My kids also did a million activities so that took a lot of our money. And yet still never dipped into savings. I worked my tail off to make sure we were never in debt, picked up another job to help pay for everything. I even asked her if it was ok I did this other job. She said yeah, but then get mad when I worked. This job made it so we could go on nicer vacations. But yet she would find something wrong or a problem. All I ever wanted to do was make my wife and kids happy. They were my world, my life. For some reason she never saw my dedication and hard work to the family. How many husbands have 2 careers, clean the house, food shop, do the landscaping, clean up after dinner, take the kids to activities, pat all the bills, take out the garbage, make the kids lunch, and yet she felt I didn’t care? I get part of it now that, that was not her love language. and yet at times she would compare me to other husbands how they do things for their wives.WHAT?? A lot of friends and family say it’s not me. I believe that, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. And when this all started I moved into the basement, to make her happy, I sacrificed again. Even though many people on here told me not too. We have a wall in the dining room with all the vacations we went on, how can she look at those and not see a great life??? I remember one time we were sitting in the dining room with her 2 girlfriends. My w said to them that we barely go away or do anything. They BOTH said are you crazy?? You go away more than both of us combined. They both said we don’t do half of what you guys do. I said to my w see we do, do a lot. She actually then said to them no it’s not that much. It’s like she doesn’t see any of it. She is in a fantasy world. This is one of the many reasons it hurts me, I worked so hard to give her this life and she took it for granted and then made me feel like I did nothing for her or loved her. Women use to tell me all the time that hey wished their husbands did half of what I did. My buddies would say I made them look bad on what I got and did for my w. Yet she saw none of that!!
Yesterday was a great day!!! I took my kids to a farm to Apple pick, corn maze, hayrides and corn hole. The kids had so much fun we were there for about 5 hours. Then I took them out to eat and did something called slot car racing. We had a awesome day together. It was so much fun. I love those kids more than anything and miss them so much when they are not with me. Thanks for listening. Comments feedback I look forward too. This forum helps.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Hey Wolf - you need to start meditation to help with racing thoughts. Get the Insight Timer app. If you can't squash your thoughts yourself, jump onto a guided meditation straight away, ok.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Dejavu I don’t get it. How can things be going so well and this is the path they choose?
She is in a fantasy world.
Wolf, please read all you can on how MLC effects behaviour. There are childhood issues there that she suppressed for years, til they welled to the surface. She cannot control herself that way. There is no explanation other than that as to why someone would blow up there life. All you can do is be the lighthouse, and pillar of strength for your kids. You need to be in your right mind to do that. You've got this Wolf.
If it helps you in exhausting all avenues of getting answers, and doesn't offend your principles/values etc, then go see a reputable psychic and ask them what happened.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
corn hole.
Oh geez this made me laugh Wolf. You Yanks have some funny sayings, and I thought us Aussies had some weird sounding games!
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
Hey wolf I started generating a response to relate to you and everything is going on yesterday but I didn't have the time to finish it all but I will put it up here later. But I want to share a couple of new thoughts I had drving this morning.
Wolf. Even though we all have gained valuable insight here by listening to each other's sich's here on a incremental daily basis. Let me pose a few questions. How much time of your life do you think you have wasted trying to figure all of this out of your sich in the past year? How much more action do you think you could have taken for bettering yourself, your well being, and your life, if the majority of you, your emotions and your actions weren't focused on your W? I know we have to process this in our own way, and in our own time, but how many times have we re-read and heard the same things over and over here and elsewhere? Had the realizations, but failed to take action for ourselves torwards positive change torwards ourselves? Not our W and our sich but actually for ourselves?
Ill pose another thought. I'm willing to bet that we are unrecognizable to our W, their families, their friends, etc. I'm willing to bet that you are the same person and act the same for the most part to your friends and family, and your W is the same to theirs. But the two of you don't recognize each other to yourselves anymore. Let me ask this? Who is changing more at the moment and putting their focus in themselves by their actions? You? Or your W? I'm willing to bet your W has more of a conversation with a family member or friend naturally than she does with you. What does all this mean? How much do you really think you matter to them right now based on your perception, your experience, and their actions? Is it worth your limited time on this earth, for months on end to continually reflect on all that has happened, although somewhat productive mentally, are you going to 've apply it and start bettering your life? Or are you just going to keep focusing what the answers are and stay immersed in the drama over and over and over? I realized that even though I have gained all this knowledge. That I can be addicted to keep looking, and reading, and doing very little about it. I have been watching YouTube videos for almost a solid year, and doing practically nothing else, just in order to feel better, feel validated, in attempt to get my mind right, while doing little to better my own personal sich. When I could have been aggressively looking for apartments, working out, looking at investments, taking up a new hobby, figuring out where I want to live. Making goals, keeping track of them, and measuring progress, etc. I don't matter to the W anymore. Except when she needs $ or needs care for S2, or needs time to watch him for her personal GAL activities. She still looks out for me. (She sends me emails on apartments to her benefit of course.) Another thing Wolf. Get used to the silence. Get used to being alone with your thoughts, and get used to pursuing a new and exciting life for yourself whatever you want it to look like. Make her an afterthought, and yourself a priority. Doesn't matter if its friends. Family, or co workers. People who keep active in your life are there for a reason, and the ones who arent, or don't wish to be, are also for a reason, its just as simple as that. The drama in our heads and in our lives thstvwe are addicted to emotionally, is keeping us stuck. Before all this pre-bd. I'm sure we were laser focused on what we had to do to get to the next step. I just realized I wasted a solid year, and a solid summer because of it. Now its time to apply what we've learned, move forward, and create a life and experiences that is going to make me happy. No excuses, no wallowing in drama or lack of results, no assigning blame to other people why I feel the way I feel. No more victim hood.
Wolf. Have you ever had a person in your life that you wanted to empathise with at first. Listened to their stories and circumstance for a few months, years, etc, but then you were like? I need to distance myself from this person, because they are clearly doing nothing to change it? Or their preferences didn't match yours anymore, and they stopped growing, and you wanted to start moving forward? We have become those people. Either live it Wolf. Or change it. It doesn't matter if we get them back. They are no longer the person that we knew to us. May be not everyone else? But to us. In simplicity. This place advocates about saving yourself first and the rest will follow. Not saving your family and marriage to leave you drained, frustrated, under developed, stunted, poor, helpless, out of control and destitute. We can't control that.
Dejavu I don’t get it. How can things be going so well and this is the path they choose? My situation was close to that, as far as how we lived life. Our only debt was our home. Money in the bank, 5 vacations a year, big beautiful home, 3 nice cars, 2 beautiful healthy kids, a husband who was around to help all the time. Yet she had the nerve to say numerous times, “I wouldn’t wish this life on my worse enemy.” Are you serious??? You know how many people would kill to have this life and you say that. For my w it was never enough. She always wanted more and more and more. So yeah at times I had to tell her we couldn’t go on that $10,000 vacation, we don’t have the money for it. My kids also did a million activities so that took a lot of our money. And yet still never dipped into savings. I worked my tail off to make sure we were never in debt, picked up another job to help pay for everything. I even asked her if it was ok I did this other job. She said yeah, but then get mad when I worked. This job made it so we could go on nicer vacations. But yet she would find something wrong or a problem. All I ever wanted to do was make my wife and kids happy. They were my world, my life. For some reason she never saw my dedication and hard work to the family. How many husbands have 2 careers, clean the house, food shop, do the landscaping, clean up after dinner, take the kids to activities, pat all the bills, take out the garbage, make the kids lunch, and yet she felt I didn’t care? I get part of it now that, that was not her love language. and yet at times she would compare me to other husbands how they do things for their wives.WHAT?? A lot of friends and family say it’s not me. I believe that, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. And when this all started I moved into the basement, to make her happy, I sacrificed again. Even though many people on here told me not too. We have a wall in the dining room with all the vacations we went on, how can she look at those and not see a great life??? I remember one time we were sitting in the dining room with her 2 girlfriends. My w said to them that we barely go away or do anything. They BOTH said are you crazy?? You go away more than both of us combined. They both said we don’t do half of what you guys do. I said to my w see we do, do a lot. She actually then said to them no it’s not that much. It’s like she doesn’t see any of it. She is in a fantasy world.
They do live in a fantasy world. The sad part is they build the fantasy world to support their narrative that their breaking up the family is required and that their spouse is responsible for that happening.
My sitch is similar to yours. I was a good husband and father and the family was always my priority. I know my exW will leave her fantasy world at some point. She has gone back to treating me with respect now. She also shows signs of wanting to do things for me, but I have reached a point where I no longer care for these touch n go actions. I am getting close to a point where I may not even consider taking her back if she expresses a desire to R.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Yesterday was a great day!!! I took my kids to a farm to Apple pick, corn maze, hayrides and corn hole. The kids had so much fun we were there for about 5 hours. Then I took them out to eat and did something called slot car racing. We had a awesome day together. It was so much fun. I love those kids more than anything and miss them so much when they are not with me. Thanks for listening. Comments feedback I look forward too. This forum helps.
Making plans focused on my kids has been very helpful. Spend as much time as you can with them when you have possession. When they are not with you, complete all the other work so that you are spending more time with them when they are with you. If you do that, even though they spend a much smaller percentage of the days with you, you can still keep the effective percentage of 'total meaningful time' spent with you relatively high.
I went through struggles accepting my sitch just as you. Here is my advice based on my experience: Focus on what you have and not what you don't or what you 'could have had'. You have a life that is still better than a large percentage of the world's population. You are not struggling to meet what is needed for you to have a decent life with all basic needs met. You have two wonderful kids and you get to spend quality time with them. Enjoy the blessings you have in life *today* and you will start recognizing how much happiness is still there in your life! Keep a positive attitude and you will find that things will get better.
DS9 thank you for that. I have done a lot of reading about MLC. At this point I feel like an expert. I know this is what she is going through. It’s just that I am running out of patience. It’s been over a year and I have hurt way too much. I don’t know if I want to be the lighthouse anymore. I just want to start finding the joys in life again.
IH you are right I have spent a lot of time worrying and being depressed about this. First my IC says that this is normal, I am grieving the loss of my marriage. Everyone grieves at different rates. You made a lot of good points about how she interacts with me and other people. I am just being the best person possible. And I am doing it for me. This is the new me if she recognizes it great, if not still great. I needed to go through the pain of this separation/divorce it’s the only way I would get better. IH I am now trying to save myself. She is no longer becoming number 1 in my life. It’s me now!!!
MLCxH her fantasy world is out of control. And I see it getting worse. The way she is spending money, her behavior towards me and the kids (very angry) looking for any reason to go out. We have good jobs but the financial hole She must be putting herself in must be deep. And I know she sees me happy and that pisses her off. I am trying to find little positive things each day to make me happy or smile.
Now onto what happened yesterday. Yesterday I was out with the kids and I received a text from her, that we need to talk when I bring the kids back. I said ok what is it about. She replied we just need to talk face to face. I bring the kids back to the house and she was out. So I got the kids to shower and get ready for bed. I went into the den to watch tv until she got home. When she got home she said hello and got right to it. We need to talk about 2 things. I said ok. The first was about who was Gerri g the kids what days because there were some days off coming up. We took care of that. Second she goes why am I hearing it from 3 separate people that you are dating someone I know. I said what?? I told her I am not dating anyone she knows and that these people are lying. Then she said when had proof of it. I said really? Because it has to be made up because I am born dating anyone she knows. She said I don’t know why you need to hide it and I need to hear it from other people. I told her I am not hiding anything. I said who are these people accuse me of dating? She refused to tell me. She said I don’t care I’m happy for you just don’t know why it’s a secret. I said there is no secret it’s not true. I told her many people were jealous of our marriage and now that we are going through this there are many people who are ecstatic about our divorce. And they are looking to add more fuel to the fire. So at this point I was so annoyed I said I hope at least she is hot. She said well I don’t like this person anyway and you guys are good for each other. I said really. Again I have no idea who you are talking about. Then she actually had the nerve to say. That she was embarrassed to hear this from other people and that they asked her if this was going on during our marriage and if this is the reason for us getting divorced. I’m telling everyone on here she is out of her f mind. I never once had an inappropriate conversation with another woman let alone cheat. I told her you are out of your mind if you believe something was going on during our marriage. She said I don’t care just don’t know why it’s a secret. I soaked you really aren’t going to tell me who it is. She said no because then you will hide it more. And she walked away.
I know I shouldn’t have engaged in that much conversation, now. But I was totally thrown off guard by that because none of that is true. My question is how should I have handled that? Also, if she is d me and has told me she doesn’t have those feelings anymore, why does she care if I’m dating anyway? She wanted me to confess to her but yet says it doesn’t matter. The. Why are we even having this conversation? My head is spinning.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
