Kas, I get the impression you are still this way. It seems like you just see doom and gloom wherever you look.I know you think this is all related to your situation with your husband, but I'm not so sure. Given your struggles with depression I just have a feeling you're still in depression. That's why I mentioned before about seeing your therapist and doctor to discuss it.
I've suffered from depression my whole life and this doesn't feel like that. It feels like a case of perfectionism wrapped up in codependency with a side of procrastination. I'm not in a dark place, it does let go and I have control over my mood. For example right now I'm sitting here feeling all blah but if I actually work or go talk to a coworker my mood gets better. I CAN control my thoughts/moods it's just difficult like quitting smoking. Sometimes all I need is something to eat (like right now I'm hungry).
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I went from seeing everything in my life as horrible and wanting to die to being my old, happy self, content with things even if they weren't perfect.
My current therapist says I'm doing great that I just need to work on radical acceptance and learning positive coping skills to tolerate a problem instead of choosing toxic things like finding another man. I need to work on changing my belief system which is a direct result of taking action even when I feel bad. I see my dr next month and will ask her about this.
My brain appears to be working well and I'm not sure a pill can fix perfectionism, procrastination and codependency. Codependency is my worst problem. I don't know how to be alone.
Kas, how are you working on the Perfectionism issues? I'm reading through a book by Brene Brown--who I know we both mention from time to time--on that subject.
Please start a new thread and link the two threads together.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
