AS. I can promise you that I’m not trying to get a response out of her. If she wants to D than fine. I really am OK with it. Your “having sex with OM” question you posed to me a couple months ago? If I saw that it would phase me zero. I mean that. I would literally be like “holy smokes! They are doing that THERE?!!? And then I would kick her out of the bedroom and sleep like a baby. Zero emotional response from me
She has offered little to no support in the way of my fresh diagnosis.
She really has the ultimate cake eating experience. She gets to come home, vent about her day, enjoy my income. Enjoy the plutonic aspects of my company without offering any intamacy. It’s very one sided
I stand by this statement unequivocally. If she BD’d me tonight I wouldn’t even blink. When I said I was a little sad I meant in the way you get sad when summer is ending or something like that. Like (wow it’s all coming to an end).
Take this as you will. I stumbled on some fair evidence of a PA. Just by accident. I don’t know if I even care.
I have no idea how much time I have. Sounds like a few years talking to doc. I’m not sure if I want to spend it all in limbo.
Besides. Steve once told me the only way to get out of friend zone is to tell her To kick rocks. If she wants to make it work great. If not great.
Is this what total rope drop feels like. Cause I feel liberated. And nervous. And great and a little scared
But she has changed a lot. She is overwhelmed with stress and depression. But she doesn’t try to fux it. She still seems to think I’m the cause of it all. (Who knows. Maybe I am).
Either way. I’m tired. I love her. But the rope is dropped. Cage door open. And I’m ready to walk out the door and never come back
She has offered little to no support in the way of my fresh diagnosis.
Hi Oz, so is she your best friend, or offering zero support? Those are opposites. When your evaluation is inconsistent or fluctuating, that's an indicator you may need more time.
The lease isn't up until January. Wait for her to bring it up? A few months isn't much in a 10-year relationship.
Originally Posted by ozman
She really has the ultimate cake eating experience. She gets to come home, vent about her day, enjoy my income. Enjoy the plutonic aspects of my company without offering any intamacy. It’s very one sided
Some aspects of this are firmly under your control. My partner--we spend 50% time together--came over agitated. After listening for a bit, I asked her if she wanted to go out and do something fun with my son and I or she needed to stay and focus on what was bothering her. She stayed. My son and I had fun. Later she and I had a fun conversation. I mean to say, if (a) You don't enjoy hearing her vent, (b) You have no explicit agreement to get something in return, and (c) You don't implicitly trust her to give you something in return--stop doing it. Drop that rope and enjoy life instead.
Originally Posted by ozman
I stumbled on some fair evidence of a PA. Just by accident. I don’t know if I even care.
I would, but since it's not a deal-breaker for you, I'll let this one be.
Originally Posted by ozman
And then I would kick her out of the bedroom and sleep like a baby. Zero emotional response from me
That is an emotional response--relief that the exhausting limbo of wondering what she will decide is over.
Originally Posted by ozman
I’m not sure if I want to spend it all in limbo.
Besides dating--what would you differently if you were out of limbo? Could you begin doing some of it now? We spend so much time waiting for our moment. Now is the time! Go live your dream now.
When I said I don’t care. It’s more of like I feel done. I’m not mad. I’m not sad (except for how I explained earlier). I enjoy being around my boy. But I don’t really enjoy being around her any more. She doesn’t like who I am. I’m energetic and goofy and adventurous and spontaneous and a little to loud. But that’s me. She doesn’t like that. And that’s ok. If she is sleeping with someone else fine by me. She wants to be done. If I ask her if she is in an A she will deny it. I don’t have means to prove it. I prolly never will. Why would I continue to live like this?
I really am just tired. Like genuinely tired. Maybe I overestimate our friendship. She told me. “I didn’t sight up for this”. Talking about my cancer on night of BD. It’s all sinking in. She really genuinely can’t handle it. She is broken and refuses to be fixed
I’m ready to walk away. Like I said. No emotion why am I standing here for someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Maybe there is someone out there who does. Maybe there isn’t. All I know is this isn’t right she nixed our M when she broke the vows of it. Why am I standing here trying to un-void the contract. Does that make sense.
A stain on a new pair of panties. In the crotch. On the outside of the panties. Kinda narrows it down. But like I said. I’m not sure I even care. Not like I’m ok with it. More like I’m just done.
