This morning. And she was out very late on Saturday night. But her alibi seems sound. But this is what I don’t want to do. It’s exhausting and I don’t have any desire to continue digging. I Just saw them there on a fresh pile of clean clothes. While getting ready for work. And I thought hmm and picked them up to look
In six years and well over 15,000 posts here, I have noticed....I've only seen one of two methods ever work with a wayward and/or cheating spouse: either Allen A's consistent, boundary-laying, affair-exposing, throw-everything-you-got-at-'em approach . . . or, Robx's/Gucci's "You know what, I agree, maybe this is best as I'm tired of your crap behavior anyway/time to move on" approach. Or perhaps some combination of the two.
I believe a mix of AllenA, Gucci, RobX, Puppy and Coach are the best. Puppy guided many down the right path.
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This morning. ....I don’t have any desire to continue digging...
Best thing is to not reveal what you know. Do not reveal how you know. Do not even reveal that you do know...YET....
Intel is powerful if you can handle it. I am a firm believer that an alpha male will do what it takes to understand what he is dealing with before taking action. Then he will do what is necessary to protect the relationship if it is important to him. He will gain respect in doing this.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Personally after everything I’ve learned through this process, IMO a PA should be a deal breaker for everyone on this board.
I believe there is a difference between a drunken one night stand and a full blown secret affair that last for years.
As for OZ, it is important to understand what he is dealing with.
I know that unhappy wifes are easy targets. Even happy wifes are easy targets. I have the skills to easily seduce these woman. Getting LBH to add these skills to their behavior and use them with their wifes takes time. LBH have so many roadblocks in their way, mostly self created. How do they rewire their thought process and behavior?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I have only one fear. And that is dying in a hospital bed of brain cancer alone. But that’s a different story. As far as my marriage. I don’t have any fears any more. Just want to make sure my boy is taken care of.
I have no fear of her, of her having an A, of her leaving, of D.
If she wants to reconcile. I’m in. Full disclosure and full transparency. If she wants out. I’m out. Peace
That’s where I am
I’m cool with either outcome.
Unless PA is confirmed. And then I’m not sure if I would want to Reconcile. I would have to think a lot in that.
But really. I’m cool with whatever.
And I really appreciate you guys questioning the validity of my feelings. I kinda question them myself
I believe there is a difference between a drunken one night stand and a full blown secret affair that last for years. I know that unhappy wifes are easy targets.
Personal tolerances. For me, monogamy is a core promise, so cheating is unacceptable. Drunken one-night stands typically require choosing to have drinks under questionable circumstances. I've been the OM more than once, where it was clear to me the spouse was angling for an "oops" moment. I drew a line the one time my partner tried to be intimate after going to a bar and "forgetting" the evening. It jogged her memory.
Thanks for everything today guys. You all are really great. You really are. I wouldn’t be where I am today without this group of people. Maybe now that I really don’t care at all how it turns out. Maybe now the heavy duty DBing can kick in. Lol
But I don’t have a lot of patience left I feel like.
Life is not a game. And we shouldn’t treat it as such
I don’t think they’re playing a game I think that is their true feelings at the moment that they are done. What they don’t know is that the feelings can and will likely come back at some point and the fantasy that they have in their mind will likely never come true.
I understand where you’re at right now with not willing to live like you are anymore, I got there too. It just took longer then 4 months. Just remember you’re feelings fluctuate and today you can decide you’re not done.
AS. I can promise you that I’m not trying to get a response out of her. If she wants to D than fine. I really am OK with it. Your “having sex with OM” question you posed to me a couple months ago? If I saw that it would phase me zero. I mean that. I would literally be like “holy smokes! They are doing that THERE?!!? And then I would kick her out of the bedroom and sleep like a baby. Zero emotional response from me.
She has offered little to no support in the way of my fresh diagnosis.
No from what you've described she's been pretty cold and heartless about it. I'm curious if you think she's hanging around with the hope of grabbing your life insurance and/ or estate?
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She really has the ultimate cake eating experience. She gets to come home, vent about her day, enjoy my income. Enjoy the platonic aspects of my company without offering any intimacy. It’s very one sided
My XW moved out pretty quick after BD so I don't know what this is like, but it sounds like absolute hell based on what you and others have described.
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I have no idea how much time I have. Sounds like a few years talking to doc. I’m not sure if I want to spend it all in limbo.
The truth of it is your WAS has shown no signs of turning around. Will she if you give it enough time? Maybe, maybe not. But it will probably be a year or even years before you know. It's your life and your choice, but if it were me then I would file for D now and never look back at her and make the most of the time I had left whether that is with someone else, or just my loved ones. If you only have years left then the BEST time you have left is happening now, why waste it on someone who doesn't love you or even care enough about you to show even basic interest in what you're going through.
