Ok. Now I understand. You’re in a tough spot because you don’t want to come off as needy asking for more affection initiated by her. That’s a tough call because you don’t want to force her if she’s not into it.
Ok. Now I understand. You’re in a tough spot because you don’t want to come off as needy asking for more affection initiated by her. That’s a tough call because you don’t want to force her if she’s not into it.
Yes. Plus, I think my needing her affection is coming from a place of weakness...not strength. IE, instead of feeling so connected and in-tune that I enjoy her initiating affection, I feel like something is missing and insecure so I want her to initiate affection.
Some of this is my history. I was always a good friend to girls I was interested in. The girls that were interested in me I had no desire for. I am weird.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Yeah not a fan of that answer. Well if everything else is going good you may have to give on that one.
My ex was like that with sex. Very rarely initiated but even more rarely turned me down. It bothered me. My friends thought I was nuts because I still got it when I wanted. It would get to me sometimes.
Yeah not a fan of that answer. Well if everything else is going good you may have to give on that one.
My ex was like that with sex. Very rarely initiated but even more rarely turned me down. It bothered me. My friends thought I was nuts because I still got it when I wanted. It would get to me sometimes.
Yeah, I agree, and what you describe with sex is the case with us as well. She is always open to me initiating, but never initiates herself. She flirts, and makes innuendo, which I enjoy.
But yeah, I think this is more my hang-up than an actual problem.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I believe once a couple gets to "Together at last", they both should be going out of their way to meet the other persons needs. True giving.
I am not sure if you are there yet. How do you get there? I think it is part of the MC.
One of my mantras: "As the man, I am in charge of the sex and romance department."
Seeing the desire in my ladies eyes and having her initiate a full on french kiss is priceless. This almost always happens when I am not being needy. I am just enjoying her for who she is. I am being romantic. I make it all about her.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I believe once a couple gets to "Together at last", they both should be going out of their way to meet the other persons needs. True giving.
I am not sure if you are there yet. How do you get there? I think it is part of the MC.
One of my mantras: "As the man, I am in charge of the sex and romance department."
Seeing the desire in my ladies eyes and having her initiate a full on french kiss is priceless. This almost always happens when I am not being needy. I am just enjoying her for who she is. I am being romantic. I make it all about her.
Thanks, as always R2C!
I think part of my problem is I am feeling down right now. About a lot of things. This is having a negative impact on my MR outlook. I need to find my groove again and get back to where I was feeling fulfilled and happy internally. I have a lot to be happy and thankful for, and I need to get busy feeling that way again.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Oh, and I've decided that maybe I do need to employ a bit of a distance approach. I think I've been too "there", and trying to hard on filling her love tank (her LL is words of affirmation). I need to go back to being pleased, content, happy, fulfilled, confident, and not be so talkative. Let her initiate conversation and do more of the talking.
Most of the problems that I've had in my life were due to my fat mouth.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I think part of my problem is I am feeling down right now. About a lot of things. This is having a negative impact on my MR outlook. I need to find my groove again and get back to where I was feeling fulfilled and happy internally. I have a lot to be happy and thankful for, and I need to get busy feeling that way again.
Boom! That's it! It's funny how quickly our perspectives can change when we line up a few small wins and get the good feelings rolling. I know you can do this. You know you can do this.
Steve, you've helped out a TREMENDOUS number of people here. You can turn this around and I know it.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
