This is kinda interesting. My attorney was on top of it when I first hired her but then I got wishy washy trying to "nice" WAH back. Cancelled the temporary support hearing (dumb I know). Two other times I cried wolf with her and she blew me off (gently). My negative self said she was going to fire me. I work in the legal field so I have her personal cell number. Yesterday I sent her a text telling her that WAH had a girlfriend, that I wanted to file and that I'd get the paperwork back to her within 24 hours.
She responded immediately. Fastest she's gotten back to me since this started. It's probably because I'm finally doing something but I'd like to think it's because I handed her an infidelity card. I have a witness (not S19). She said it's hard to prove infidelity but she can name drop as a scare tactic.
Maybe so, doesn't really matter though. You're doing this to protect yourself and not as a form of revenge, right?
Its to protect myself. I'd prefer to wait and see if he comes out of this. I still want to reconcile I'm not doing well and grasping at anything including imagining him underestimating me to feel better.
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He offered less and is paying less, so that tells you he's trying to cheap his way out of this. He more than likely realizes that if he files it's going to cost him in L fees, extra spousal/ child support and who knows what else. He sounds like he's avoidant in general so there you go.
This is on me. I allowed him to cheap his way out because I wanted to "nice" him back. I kinda knew after I moved I'd have to file soon but wasn't sure when. Finding about the OW made the decision easy and yes he's an avoidant.
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I would GLADLY have chosen to have my kids 100% of the time rather than 50 and let my XW sow her wild oats as much as she wanted. You are very lucky in that regard. And who says he's happy? He doesn't sound happy.
I have 2 kids 100% of the time. D14 is with him. He's happier now that he has his own place.
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You're jumping to some big conclusions there. You just found out he was dating, and now you've already got them shacked up and sharing incomes! Quit spinning, all it's doing is messing with your PMA!
I'm trying to stop. I'm grasping for air. I can't breathe. My thoughts are strangling me. The only positive I can see are my kids but I can't hang onto that. I keep posting here hoping someone can help talk me down. I can't stop spinning and I'm in trouble at work and at home.
Last edited by job; 11/14/1910:17 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
