I've contacted a local family law solicitors this evening for a free consultation. Truth is I'm broke due to the entire situation so will have to navigate this carefully.
The more you attempt to get the info out of her, the more determined she will be not to be cooperative and give it to you. Drop the questions about the mediator for now and wait. When she sees you aren't taking the bait for an argument or appearing to beg for info, she will then open up.
Just leave it alone for now...trust me....her tune will change when she sees that you aren't bothered about the info.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me: could you let me know which mediation service it is and how they will be contacting me. No response Whatsapp message 1 hour later. .. Me: did you see my message on parenting app? .. Her: via whasapp: I'm working all this back and forth is distracting!
You agreed to stick to the parenting app when talking about the kids and it's only been 1 hr.
Originally Posted by JDevast
still no mention of who? Is this an issue for you to share this information?
"Which mediation service is it?" - if being able to name them now is important.
Originally Posted by JDevast
Laugh then get ready for a battle I guess
A battle requires two people. My ex-girlfriend and her ex-husband disagreed on many points and successfully mediated. Ex-husband would send a proposal and CC the mediator. When she disagreed with a point, she'd ask her attorney if he'd be likely to win that point in court. If her attorney said no, she said no to her ex-husband. When they disagreed and asked for input, the mediator provided a second opinion. ("If you can't agree, you could go to court. She'd probably win this point.") If they agreed, the mediator documented it.
This is not a unilateral decision making process. You need to put your balls back on.
This is a negotiation process. The lawyers do it well and take all your family money at the same time.
This is my template:
Here is what I propose: Mediator 1 Mediator 2 Mediator 3. Pick one. If you don't like any of them, go find a couple you like and I will see if I like them. If I do them we use the one we both agree to use.
This is how you should respond:
W, Since you will not provide the name of the mediator you are recommending, bla bla bla
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Ready2Change's suggestion is active and I recommend it with no reservations.
It gets you back in the driver's seat instead of letting your ex-wife control all. Speaking of which, did you finalize on Christmas after your initial strong statements with a 48-hour timeline for her to respond?
Sorry for late response, works crazy and been on the phone seeking advice.
Legal appointment next week
Will be forwarding choices of my preferred mediation services to w.
There has been no response regarding my message on Xmas arrangements
Even with mediation in place, I think it's unlikely appointment and resolution will occur before Xmas. So not sure how to proceed.
Mediation in the UK is a voluntary process but is Start of legal agreement to seperate. An assessment takes place , whatever agreements are then sent to court.
One factor is that both parties must be certain that their marriage has broken down before they attend mediation
I need to get some clarity and advice on this, if one partner retains hope of reconciliation.
Perhaps I should move forward with suggestion of couples counselling 1st , welcome thoughts. Even if it's to counsel through seperation.
Also wary that all the advice is not to participate in counselling if abuse is present?
Question If I propose joint counselling prior to starting mediation process is this pursuing, obviously it's a relationship talk in some format. There are pre divorce counselling service locally. I would like the opportunity to talk things through before starting mediation/ legal process. It's advised by mediation providers but not by abuse services?
Depends on your goal for it. If it’s to save marriage it’s a waste of time. If it’s to sort things out for the D then i wouldn’t worry about it being pursuit.
