Thanks G....I am still learning and the DR/I have a ways to go but it is nice.
L - No, I couldn't have prevented it. In some ways I am glad that she just cut me off at the knee caps. Not sure I will ever understand why she didn't want to work on it together with counseling, etc. in the end it just wasn't met to be.
I agree, most where destined to happen. You just here a lot of stories of depression, messed up childhoods, etc. etc. that certainly make it very difficult to have a long lasting R. I know in my own my XW was never consistent emotionally, I never knew what I was going to get. It got worse the older she got as well.
Hey All......Thanksgiving was great, took a road trip to my parents house with the girls. They always love seeing Grandma and Grandpa. Not sure I would have made if not for them having technology! I have no idea what my parents did with me..............
The Dr. and I are still moving right along. No drama, just slow and easy however she is starting to pick up the pace on the marriage comments. Still no serious discussions though. I will leave that up to her
On a side note I am struggling on what to get her for Christmas. She is pretty hard to buy for as she gets herself whatever she wants for the most part. She is a very practical person, doesn't really splurge on herself however I am struggling in this department. The things I have bought her so far are pretty practical but items she would never buy herself like wireless Air Pods.
An engagement ring?? I can guarantee that’s exactly what she wants. So, whatcha going to do when she brings it up?
But seriously, for someone who has everything...... nothing beats an experience. Romantic weekend getaway. Buying her a hot dress to wear to an exclusive fancy restaurant where you managed to lock down the chef’s table. Cooking class for 2. We have one here that cooks a 5 course meal and then you sit down to eat it woth the wine you bought. It ain’t cheap either.
Something sentimental. Last Christmas I got in contact woth the photographer from his brothers wedding to get a canvas picture of him and his son at the wedding. Pretty sure he lost it in the fire.
Whatever you do, don’t get a prepackaged Godiva tin with a coffee mug and a package of hit chocolate. I still laugh when I drink out of that cup.
LOL G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have got her a few things so far but all are just your standard, practical gifts. I got her some Air Pods, a couple of pillows she wanted, a wireless car charger for her phone, a new magazine clip for one of her guns (she sent me a picture of what she wanted). For her birthday back in May I got her a necklace but we had only been dating for like 4 months at the time. So yeah, just practical stuff so far. I was at her house last night and she has a ton of presents under the tree for me and the girls. I did get her son a couple of things that cost a total of around $100.
Buying clothes for women is really hard!
Oh engagement ring.................I mean gosh, whoa! I have started to think about it more and more but there are so many things we have not discussed yet. I just think we are finally starting to get to that point to where the both of us are feeling much more comfortable, letting our guards down, etc. At this point it's probably a game of chicken.
I am missing something romantic though. I did send her a huge bouquet of flowers for her office being open for 1 yr.
I’m just kidding. It’s just about to be a year, right? It could be on the radar, but when blending 2 families and 2 lives, I do think a lot needs to be discussed. And it seems as if that might be a bit much for your girls right now.
You definitely need to throw something romantic in there. I think every woman appreciates a beautiful piece of jewelry. Even if she could go out and buy it herself, there is something about it when someone else compliments it and you can say “my boyfriend bought it for me”
Yum, yeah technically January 16th was our first date. She makes comments like...."When you are 80 baby I wont' let you pull your pants up to your nipples". Comments like that happen fairly frequently. She has also told me directly that I am the one and she would never do anything of her doing to ruin our R. So really it's just a matter of time.
The kids are the one thing that is holding us back. We have been very lucky that for the most part our weekends have been aligned until now however we really have not spent a ton of time around each other's kids. That is the next step.
When I have my girls I do not see her at all during the week. When I don't have them I will go over to her place after her son goes to bed on Sunday nights and Tuesday nights then we spend the entire weekend together outside of breaks for my girls sporting events, errands we have to run, etc.
I thought about some earrings as she always wears her favorite pair. She also makes her own jewelrey as well so she is kind of picky.
Whatever you do, don’t get a prepackaged Godiva tin with a coffee mug and a package of hit chocolate. I still laugh when I drink out of that cup.
I’m not great at buying gifts but I’ve had my moments. But help a guy out who can occasionally be clueless - okay maybe more than occasionally... what’s the problem with the mug gift? Seems okay to me. Or was that it and nothing else - then I get it. Did M get you this or someone else?
Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
I have got her a new magazine clip for one of her guns
Ha!!! Nothing says romance like a new clip for her gun - you romantic devil you. That is a smooth gift there big smooth.
As for the engagement ring, I was thinking about posting but then you wrote my thoughts yourself. You guys seem to be great at dating. You’re getting along well, etc. but I very much agree that you’ve not at all had the conversations that are very much needed about the things that derail too many couples. Need to be on the same age about kids, discipline, blending families, where to live, money and on and on. In many ways you are doing the easy part now. It gets way harder if you get married - way way harder.
If you think you might want to marry her as many here clearly think she wants, talking over and working out these many things over the next year really needs to be done. Have you guys even had a serious argument yet? How to you know how she handles disagreement? Getting to this level is a must before any rings. Then maybe a year from now... that’s my take anyhow.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
And no, don't buy her clothes unless you are very sure of her size and style. There's just too many vagaries - for instance, I have a long torso and short legs. Shorter tops make me look like a box - longer tops accentuate my curves. I look awful in yellow - jewel tones look great on me. No guy is going to know those things.
No arguments yet. I do know she want's a pre-nup and won't be changing her last name. Not deal breakers for me.
There have been no other details discussed. I have assumed though that all financial accounts will be separate. Which is not a deal breaker for me either. I don't want or need her money as I don't want her to hold it over my head either as she did with her XH. While I make good money and I am certainly not a DR. so if she is going to hang it over my head and make little comments about her buying this and that then she needs to think about what is of equal value that I bring to the table.
Our parenting styles are very different. Her house is paid off and big enough for all of us however I also want it to feel like my home and my daughters as well.
I agree with G, she wants a ring. But, I agree with Don that now isn't the time. I also agree with kml….NO CLOTHES. And, here is the thing...you say she's practical and you have only bought her practical things. Speaking from another practical woman's point of view, I'm ALL about practical gifts. I love getting new cooking gadgets and that sort of thing as gifts. BUT, even practical women like pretty, shiny, sparkly, frilly things on occasion. Buy her a nice piece of jewelry. Or, like G suggested, get her an experience. Experiences are my favorite gifts. Kick up the romance a bit and don't just think practical. Don't just buy her things that she sends you pics of and says she wants. I mean, yeah, that is a great "hint", but go above that. I know Sparky bought me the new Pioneer Woman cookbook for Christmas because I said I wanted it (and I do....love me some PW), but I know he also bought something else because I picked up the mail the other day and there was a package that he was very secretive about. Surprises can be a good thing and don't necessarily have to be super expensive. G is right....the Godiva chocolates and mug.....that is just a big no. To answer Don's question "what is wrong with that": it is a checkout aisle last-minute purchase you would buy for the receptionist in your office or a co-worker that you are friendly (not necessarily actual friends) with, your child's teacher, the older lady at church who doesn't have much family so you just wanted to make her smile.....THOSE are the people that the Godiva chocolate mug is a great gift for. The woman you love should be more than an after-thought at the check stand. How's this for practical? One year for Christmas, my dad bought my mom a registered Brahma bull. He wanted a new herd bull and she thought Brahmas were pretty and dad knew they would throw pretty calves with our black white face herd. Talk about practical. And for the record....she liked it. I'm not suggesting you go out and buy the nice dr. cows, but if you are going practical, think outside the box there too.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I'm not suggesting you go out and buy the nice dr. cows, but if you are going practical, think outside the box there too.