When you slide into the MBR this evening, just do it. If she questions why you are doing it, be honest and tell her that the bed is just as much your as it is hers. If she's not happy, she'll take herself out to the couch and just leave her there. If she starts an argument, do not get into it w/her. If she's angry, she's going to bait you into an argument. Remember...you have kids in the house that can hear everything that goes on. Just get in the bed, turn the light out and let her fume. Trust me...she'll get over it in time or she'll be sleeping on that couch for many days ahead.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I would say "you have three choices, the MBR bed, the couch or sleep w/one of the kids. I have made my choice and I'm sleeping in the MBR tonight."
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Got home from BB practice. Have to take another kid to and from practice later. Read the youngest a story and put her to bed. W asked how practice was, this was first initiated conversation by her about me that did not happen in front of kids.
Always be prepared for the worst case scenario. That makes dealing with everything else easy.
I think the worse case is she takes the kids and leaves. The next is she tells you she is leaving with the kids.
Seek legal advise ASAP.
With that said, tomorrow, I would go buy at a minimum a manly comforter for the bed. New sheets would be nice. It is now your room. A picture of a motorcycle (or other manly thing) would be a great touch. If you would like the bed in another location, put it there. Get the idea?
ONLY SAY THIS IF ASKED: "I decided this would be better"
If she joins you in there to sleep, great. If not, great. That is the your attitude.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Me: I can appreciate your feelings on this but the bed is where I believe I belong. So I’m going to sleep in it.
W: Ok, that’s fine
She is sleeping on the couch downstairs.
Hank, let me ask you a question. Do you think what you did tonight commands respect? Or do you think sleeping on the couch does? I'm not one to directly disagree with another poster 's advice, but a man giving up his bed is about the most beta thing you can do. Heck, it's not even beta, it's Omega. So if you are getting similar advice from a lot of the vets here, I'd heed it. There will always be desenters. Some do it because they really believe it. Some just like to troll because, I don't know, they have nothing better to do.
This evening you commanded respect. It was a baby step towards regaining her attraction.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hank, I am the LBS, since the BD I have had the MBR to myself while he either sleeps in our vacated D’s Room or the couch when she was home. As much as I would like him back in the MBR, he needs to come in on his own. I did not ask for this BD. Neither did you. We deserve to sleep in our beds. Our BD spouses have chosen to bomb the marriage so they can sleep in the rubble. I have never asked him to leave the room nor have I asked him back. This is his issue. I am GAL and I can only hope we work towards a reconciliation.
