I spoke with my MC. I wanted to discuss options with her and get perspective. I’m surprised she called me back. She put it pretty simply. She said I need to move on. She said my wife is worn out and needs her energy for the divorce. That if I push anymore it will get contentious and escalate. She said my wife doesn’t want to hurt me and has a tendency to therefore be agreeable or be nice.
Same thing someone else said yesterday; she says “I love you” back because she doesn’t want to hurt you. My wife told me yesterday she’ll always love me, she’s just not in love with me. I need to move to acceptance. I’ve probably said that before.
I told her that I accept her decision and that we need to do what we can to keep this from the kids until we know the details and we’re ready to tell them. She agreed. I held it together but it was tough. I did ask her to where her wedding ring again so that the kids wouldn’t ask about it. She was noncommittal, which is fine. It’s up to her.
This feels sad but better. I have my call with my coach in the morning and I’m sure he will tell me to continue to empathize, work to be kind, and gentle. I think this was a step in that direction. My only chance, if I have one is that she changes her mind as we go through the process over the next three months or so and I have to accept that she probably won’t and stop throwing up road blocks because that will only reaffirm her.
Your MC is a wise person. It is time to set her free alone into the wild. I really do not believe it will live up to her expectations. She is going to want out quick and will likely take concessions in the D. Use it to your advantage. We are here for you.
