But I've come to realize something my friend said. I'm H's person. And at some point he'll figure it out. He just hasn't yet. That's why even though he had OW to talk to he still wanted to talk to me and followed me around to do so. Even though he had OW to watch shows and movies with he still wanted to watch certain shows and movies with me. It's why he'd try to mask the places he'd gone and the things he had done with OW that he really enjoyed so he could tell me about this awesome thing he did or saw or ate. Because he can't not talk to me. Have me as his sounding board. Have me as his friend. His mouth keeps saying I'm more than happy to live with out you. But his actions say I don't know how. And I need to learn how to just mentally check out when he's giving me these diametrically opposing signals.
Hey WF, this is so my H too. I'm coming to learn that a number of things he introduced to me-- bands, an NPR show, apps-- are things he got from AP. It all feels dirty to me right now but also I really enjoy some of these things. (I just want to mentally Lysol it all.) I would take it for what it is and yes, mentally check out. I know this is NOT validating but I kind of perfected (during the worst of him telling me how much in love they were) eye contact, nodding, looking like I'm listening, and actually just repeating WTF inside my head, or focusing on telling myself to check out, calm down, reacting right now won't help anything, trying to slow down my breath consciously until I was calm again.
Originally Posted by wayfarer
My new therapist said I'm going through this with a lot of grace. I had a friend say the same thing to me. That I'm walking though this with grace.
I think you are handling all of this with an enormous amount of grace and class. You should hold your head up high. You're amazing.
Last edited by Cadet; 03/06/2002:03 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
