Yeah, this mindset is counter productive. Still have not figured out how to shut it off.
That is perhaps the hardest part in these sitchs, battling our own mindsets. No one in my family has divorced less a distant cousin on my father's side. I grew up thinking divorce isnt even part of most peoples vocabulary. Naive on my end.
It sounds like you're having a tough time. Keep pushing on for your children and grandchildren. They need someone to look up to.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
Dad's parents -D Mom's brother-D Mom's sister -D My sister -D Mom's sister's daughter and adopted Daughter -D and D (x2) My daughters - both D
Mom and Dad married 52 years. Mom died because of cancer. Mom's parents married about 40 plus. Grandpa died from cancer at age 63-or 64 from prostate cancer.
Cousins, Dad's brother, two of the four are D, maybe three. Don't keep in touch .
I want to beat those odds.
I can do the work. I pushed and finished my primary school in the Navy. Passing grade was 2.5/4.0. First grade period I was 2.49/4.0. Was given a chance and finished with 2.81/4.0. Improvement and catching up.
I would like a honest chance. She's unwilling to.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Yup --- and asking and hanging around won't make her suddenly want to either.
All you can do is work on yourself and become the better option than what she is going towards. Its painful to continue to see them pull away - gosh that hurts.
You keep doing you and setting some awesome goals for yourself is tremendous progress.
Seriously, the more to start to NOT care about where she is at... the more she WILL start to get curious about what it is you're doing.
Stop focusing on family history and starting focusing on yourself.
Dad's parents -D Mom's brother-D Mom's sister -D My sister -D Mom's sister's daughter and adopted Daughter -D and D (x2) My daughters - both D
Mom and Dad married 52 years. Mom died because of cancer. Mom's parents married about 40 plus. Grandpa died from cancer at age 63-or 64 from prostate cancer.
Cousins, Dad's brother, two of the four are D, maybe three. Don't keep in touch .
I want to beat those odds.
I can do the work. I pushed and finished my primary school in the Navy. Passing grade was 2.5/4.0. First grade period I was 2.49/4.0. Was given a chance and finished with 2.81/4.0. Improvement and catching up.
I would like a honest chance. She's unwilling to.
Unfortunately, it takes two to make a marriage. It only takes one to get a D. So to D or not to D isn't always up to us. How we learn and grow from it is up to us.
KEEP GROWING!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
No time at home over Memorial Day weekend. Disappointing yes. Visited my parents and maternal grandparents. Grandpa served in Pacific in the Navy during WWII. Paid respects to a few other veterans buried near them. Spent the rest of the day with the two kids and grandsons. Grilled and had a good time.
I hope all of you are doing well in this crazy Covid focused world.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Spent the rest of the day with the two kids and grandsons. Grilled and had a good time.
I hope all of you are doing well in this crazy Covid focused world.
Glad you made some memories with the kids and grandkids, and stayed busy.
I tell you, this covid crisis isnt too much different for some introverts in a non medical profession. Its normal in a way. Hopefully the numbers showing positive signs of reopening things continue and people stay smart.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
Today the parts I worked on allowed too much time in my head. Never good. I needed to put down the shovel. So I picked up a spoon and had the Espresso Chip frozen custard (double scoop).
Lathe is out of alignment. I get tapered parts. Wider the further from the head stock. About a .001 per inch from the head. The lathe should hold better than that. Boss knows. Just have to get time to correct it. One of the parts I was working on had a tolerance of 0.0005 in three inches. This must be measured with a 0-1 inch micrometer that will measure ten thousandths of an inch. I have such a micrometer (Thanks Dad. I have his tools) The other guys in the machine shop do as well but the receiving guys... eh... not so much. Yeah... if they wanted to try for an ISO 9000 qualification there would be a huge amount of work needed first.
To be honest everyone. I'm still scared about a future without her. I don't know how I will react if the judge grants this. I'm pretty sure I was (still am?) depressed about my parents. Loosing her this way is magnitudes worse. Like logarithmic scale worse. Yeah... not helpful, counter productive.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Turbine, how long has it been since you"had" her? It's been quite a while.
The future without her is already here. A judge granting it is just the government recognizing what's already been done. And you have no control over any of that. But you do over how you react to it. Fear is a motivator to do the wrong things. Drop fear and start looking forward to productive things you can do!
Last edited by Steve85; 05/29/2003:06 AM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
