Steve85 - She had lots of questions in her emails. They were about different topics. I at least need to go through them, but I may make the decision not to reply.
Working on GAL - After a tough day yesterday I went to the gym and that made me feel a lot better. I've got a Happy Hour tonight, Friend invited me to dinner at his house tomorrow, on Saturday working out with a friend and then I invited over a handful of friends to hang out. Taking Sunday off so far to do whatever I want. I get the kids back on Monday so that gets me through this first five day stretch.
A friend of mine wanted me to meet a woman going through a similar situation to mine so I called her last night and asked her to dinner. She wasn't able to make it be we chatted for 30 minutes. It did give me some confidence that I can talk to women (which may sound silly, but its been a long time). Hold the advice on moving too fast, I'll watch it.
It was interesting to listen and to talk about my situation. I need to begin referring to my wife by her name as opposed to calling her my wife. That's my next step.
I tried to connect with my son last night but wasn't able to - that seemed odd. I'll try to catch them tonight.
Steve85 - She had lots of questions in her emails. They were about different topics. I at least need to go through them, but I may make the decision not to reply.
You are being vague. Nature of the questions? Be very careful with D related answers in email. They can come back to bite you.
Originally Posted by ScottB
Working on GAL - After a tough day yesterday I went to the gym and that made me feel a lot better. I've got a Happy Hour tonight, Friend invited me to dinner at his house tomorrow, on Saturday working out with a friend and then I invited over a handful of friends to hang out. Taking Sunday off so far to do whatever I want. I get the kids back on Monday so that gets me through this first five day stretch.
You are doing better with GAL than expected you to do Scott. You've been pretty bad at GAL in my estimation and this has caused you to spin. GAL keeps you busy, keeps your mind off of things and let's you let go and detach.
Originally Posted by ScottB
A friend of mine wanted me to meet a woman going through a similar situation to mine so I called her last night and asked her to dinner. She wasn't able to make it be we chatted for 30 minutes. It did give me some confidence that I can talk to women (which may sound silly, but its been a long time). Hold the advice on moving too fast, I'll watch it.
I know you said hold on the advice, but why post this if you don't want feedback? First, be very careful with advice from friends and family. They are too close to the situation to give you sound, objective advice. And they have one goal: To try to end your pain as quickly as possible as it pains them to see you in pain. So they will give you short-sighted advice towards that end. Friends especially will trend towards the "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone" type of advice. That is the worst saying I've ever heard. First, it is flat out wrong, it doesn't help you get over someone. It is like self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, it temporarily makes you forget about the someone. But the next morning they are right back on your mind.
Plus, it complicates your situation. Now instead of issues with one woman, you will have issues with two women. (Especially since you haven't done the work on yourself to set you up for future R success.)
So what was your goal with this dinner? Was it a date? If not, why not ask the friend who suggested you call her to dinner instead?
Scott, I know you know this but you are so not ready to add another person to the mix. So not ready. You still go up and down emotionally based on whether your STBXW is nice or mean to you.
Originally Posted by ScottB
It was interesting to listen and to talk about my situation. I need to begin referring to my wife by her name as opposed to calling her my wife. That's my next step.
Interesting. So one conversation with another woman......and suddenly you need to refer to your STBXW as her name instead of "my W". I agree that you need to stop calling her "my W", but not because you had another woman to talk to. But because whether you talked to this other woman OR NOT, you need to face the fact that your MR is over and that D is on the horizon. So refer to her as you STBXW. Or your exWife.
Originally Posted by ScottB
I tried to connect with my son last night but wasn't able to - that seemed odd. I'll try to catch them tonight.
Put the offer out there, let him decide whether or not he wants to talk. No need to read a lot into this.
Last edited by Steve85; 12/10/2003:49 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
R2C - I'll keep checking those out. They are interesting.
I had a good night out last night with a friend. He separated from his wife 12/2017 and his wife filed 1/2018 - he is hoping to get that wrapped up soon. I can't imagine this thing taking two years, I'd lose my mind. He said if you get out there on the dating scene it is crazy. He also found out his wife was having an EA about 1.5 after they separated. This stuff is rampant and crazy. I have to believe my Ex is doing the same thing.
Anyhow, tonight I'm going to another friends house for dinner. Should be fun. Tomorrow I am working out with a friend then I have to put a ping pong table together before a bunch of guys come over in the afternoon to hang out and watch football.
I can think of maybe two stories in 6 years here that I feel confident there wasn’t an OP. Your STBX has her sights on someone for sure. She’s addicted to the high.
I disagree the dating seen is crazy. It can be if you want it to be. Lot of amazing single women out there. Lots of crazies too. You just have to weed them out.
R2C - I'll keep checking those out. They are interesting.
I've watched a number of the "Entrepreneurs in Cars" Youtube videos based on RC's recommendation on this thread. He certainly has strong opinions. Definitely a different mindset than me, but maybe that's the point - could probably use a bit more alpha/decisiveness. Seems a bit jaded about the divorce process but spot on regarding working out and finances.
Originally Posted by ScottB
He said if you get out there on the dating scene it is crazy.
What do you mean by "the dating scene is crazy"? Can you expand on that? In a good or bad way?
Originally Posted by ScottB
He also found out his wife was having an EA about 1.5 after they separated. This stuff is rampant and crazy. I have to believe my Ex is doing the same thing.
I was immediately suspicious of an affair in my sitch after the bomb and confirmed an EA within a day or two - just had that feeling there was more going on - why break up a marriage with two young kids just returning from Disney if not for something else going on? Maybe I'm looking through the bias lens of my sitch right now but I think most people wouldn't leave a "not so bad" (no abuse...etc.) situation if someone they perceive is better isn't lined up, and it seems most of the sitches on this board backs up that theory.
Originally Posted by ScottB
I had a good night out last night with a friend.
Originally Posted by ScottB
Anyhow, tonight I'm going to another friends house for dinner. Should be fun. Tomorrow I am working out with a friend then I have to put a ping pong table together before a bunch of guys come over in the afternoon to hang out and watch football.
Two dinners, working out, and watching football with the guys...sounds like great GAL weekend to me! Way to keep yourself busy and entertained.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
