As for your husband your keeping the road paver home smoothly. Like you he’s broken too so when things go bad with OW he can run home to you.
UGH.... so here's what a trainwreck I am...
Christmas Eve --- sent the most amazing sexy pics in holiday themed lingerie... they were hot!!! His response was sort of luke warm and then went to - wait your still in Seatlle... that's an interesting item to pack. ((UHM... this was my plan to send you something fun for xmas)) ***Side note... I can't remember if I wrote on here for our last date I showed up to his house only wearing lingerie... yeah his jaw dropped. that was a fun night.
Christmas Day -- I'm traveling and we are texted intermittently. I randomly texted I miss the days of longer connection times so you could actually go to the bar and drink. These days you literally get off one plane, walk to your gate and board your next flight and if you lucky you get a chance to pee. I told him I missed the days of getting liquored up at the airport so the rest of me could be as numb as my arse.... he teased me and said I should have ponied up for first class or vacationed closer to home... I replied I thought about first class but they weren't my ff miles.
AND the downward spiral begins....
Pilot asks who's miles they were.... STBXH... He replies he finds it weird that someone I am divorcing would give me ff miles. I stated - not really... they don't matter to him... that's why he is paying off the timeshare and dumping it on me as he does not want to mess with it. He wants a simpler life.
The next day... STUPID ME says "I won't apologize for my unconventional D. I will still occasionally have lunch with MIL. I will still be in touch with my step kids in whatever capacity they are most comfortable with. STBXH will still bring the puppy to my office (this he already knew) and I will be petsitting the puppy when he is out of town. I'm a delightfully interesting woman with some unique hobbies, lust for life and a love a jazz. Pilot you have my number... next move is yours.
YUP... you guessed it... CRICKETS.
So trying to be funny and sarcastic (which for whatever reason always falls flat for me... why can other people be funny and sassy in text and its a trainwreck for me???))
SO LAST NIGHT I SENT A MEME... It said "you know what's sexy as h3ll? EFFORT. Effort is f*cking sexy." But, then I added... You're f*cking sexy as h3ll as well so that makes 2 things" ((added emojis with sunglasses))
[facepalm].... NOTHING... DEAD SILENT... CRICKETS.
Yeah, this is humiliating. How many woman show up at his door the way I did??? And, does he think I do that all the time.... UHM... NEVER... I've never done that but that's how much I was digging this guy.
So do I let it fade to grey or do I apologize for my behavior and delete his number?
I've never done something sooo humiliating and I did a lot of begging with my H at BD....
Based on your description of him. He doesn’t seem to feel bad for using you for sex.
Hmm... don't really know how he feels.
The only time he ever expressed anything was 1) when he has on more than one occasion mentioned that I don't talk, that he carries the conversation and 2) referred to me as a MILF once but other than that hasn't ever commented on how attractive I am.
I agreed to the sex and clearly I'm showing up in lingerie at his front door... maybe I was using him for sex too??? But, being a woman I just got attached and then behaved badly.
You had starting beginning your OLD Adventures that you are separated and looking for fun. You said you were clear that you weren’t looking for anything serious. I am not surprised at his reaction at all. He thought he was getting some married woman looking for a fun time. And instead you kind of went a little clingy nutty on him.
When he realized you wanted more, he should have backed out, instead of taking what you were giving him. Maybe that’s his fault. But you claim you were very honest you were just OLD for some friends and a fun time. You got that and you tried to make it more and you are upset that he doesn’t see you as more?
I’m going to blunt. Your reactions were kind of desperate and maybe seen as a little psycho .
Do not apologize. Just drop it . But do yourself a favor and get some professional help. You can’t drown your problems in other men. You can’t drown your problems and sorrows in alcohol. You need to deal with them and get through them in a healthy way like therapy. This isn’t good. Stop treating yourself so awful. Do healthy things for self emotionally. It’s a really tough time right now. Try to take care of yourself in a healthy way
