Today was a tough day. I did a poor job of finding something to do for New Years Eve and I've been alone all day. I learned a couple of things.
First, have a plan and follow the plan. I had planned to work all day - that would have helped a lot. I still could have planned something to do tonight, I'm not sure why I didn't reach out to anyone. That was a failure.
So for next weekend, when I won't have the kids, I planned a spiritual retreat. That will help check off those days. Then two weeks from then, I planned a trip to FL for the 5 days I don't have the kids. That effectively will get me through the month of January.
I've been taking in some Richard Cooper and Elliot Hulse. I'm not sure what I make of that. Its interesting.
I get the kids tomorrow at 10am which will help me with feelings of loneliness. I'm hoping that as we get back to normal work weeks I won't struggle as much with feeling lonely.
Today was a tough day. I did a poor job of finding something to do for New Years Eve and I've been alone all day. I learned a couple of things.
First, have a plan and follow the plan. I had planned to work all day - that would have helped a lot. I still could have planned something to do tonight, I'm not sure why I didn't reach out to anyone. That was a failure.
So for next weekend, when I won't have the kids, I planned a spiritual retreat. That will help check off those days. Then two weeks from then, I planned a trip to FL for the 5 days I don't have the kids. That effectively will get me through the month of January.
I've been taking in some Richard Cooper and Elliot Hulse. I'm not sure what I make of that. Its interesting.
I get the kids tomorrow at 10am which will help me with feelings of loneliness. I'm hoping that as we get back to normal work weeks I won't struggle as much with feeling lonely.
Sorry man. Gal does require a bit of planning. However, there are things you can do to stay busy without planning. Reading is always a good go to. I'm a big fan of self learning too. Whether online training or videos. Always be self improving!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
First time in my life I’ve spent New Year’s Eve alone. First year in 25 I didn’t have sex. 2020 was the worst year yet. Thank God it’s over. I know that with the calendar things don’t change, and 2021 is going to be hard too. I’ll lose half of what I have worked for and get divorced. But I’m not in limbo, there is movement. I can make my own decisions, so there are some positives. I wouldn’t wish my last year on anyone, and really most of the real pain was in the last three months. I’m going to bed early, I’ll work out in the morning, go to church, get my kids, and watch some football. Today is behind me and tomorrow is ahead, it will be better.
First time in my life I’ve spent New Year’s Eve alone. First year in 25 I didn’t have sex. 2020 was the worst year yet. Thank God it’s over. I know that with the calendar things don’t change, and 2021 is going to be hard too. I’ll lose half of what I have worked for and get divorced. But I’m not in limbo, there is movement. I can make my own decisions, so there are some positives. I wouldn’t wish my last year on anyone, and really most of the real pain was in the last three months. I’m going to bed early, I’ll work out in the morning, go to church, get my kids, and watch some football. Today is behind me and tomorrow is ahead, it will be better.
This is one reason why I am so glad to have this place. It's easy to feel so alone on a holiday and get discouraged. I think many of us feel it. But we are all sending out support vibes to each other for sure. I am feeling sad tonight, too, and a little anxious about the new year. But also trying to believe that there will be so much good in it too.
me: 46 h: 49 m: 24 T: 27 DD1:20 DD2:17 DS:12 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019 Now: He is in the same house, but has filed for divorce.
I didn’t sleep great. Got up at 7a and headed to the gym. On my way I got to thinking that maybe these last days has been more about the reality of the fact this is how life is now. I think I’d been looking forward to spending Christmas together as a family and that helped me in December.
I do get the kids back today (but the last time i had them i could feel the loneliness too) so we’ll see how it goes and how i feel. I’m looking forward to getting back to regular work weeks and I have a lot planned for January. My GAL game is pretty strong but this is hard, and after 20 years with someone always there, it is lonely.
Scott, I feel for you man. I know that this is difficult. With time it will get better. This is also why I was against the joint Christmas, I felt it would set you back in your detachment. It also felt like she was throwing you some breadcrumbs and doing you a favor. Never a healthy place to be with a WAS. I think the message it would have sent her to have insisted on separate Christmases would have been profound. And would help your kids be less confused about reality moving forward. And it would have helped you start getting some respect back. You held onto the joint Christmas out of fear and anxiety.
Water under the bridge. Onwards and upwards in 2021!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
