Leaving it behind.

[LH19]

Hope you sound like you were an amazing W.

Now you got me thinking. Can you respect a person but not there behaviors? Is a person’s behaviors the reason you respect them in the first place. Kinda thinking out loud.

[97Hope]

Interesting discussion.

I'm starting a new career next week. I will have to show respect to every individual I come into contact with. With the exception of routine calls and calls for assistance - they will be violating the law. For these people - I am meeting them at possibly the worst moment of their lives. I don't need them to respect me as a person to show respect. And that doesn't mean that I won't take them to jail - but during our interaction I can choose to treat them with dignity and respect. I think of it like this - how do I want my family treated if they were in the violator's shoes? Even if my family member was being a total dirtbag.


I found this quote: "Respect, like trust, has to be earned, no doubt, but when we are gracious enough to bestow the respect to others first, even when they don’t deserve it, we are essentially practicing respect towards ourselves and showing others how to respect us appropriately."

"when we practice mutual space and respect to people, even those we dislike or cannot tolerate, we are not only building on our tolerance, but also demonstrating our graciousness by showing others that we respect ourselves enough to not be on the same page as them."

You know what they say here - we can only control ourselves. That's my goal.

[LH19]

I get it but would it be logical to say “ I respect Charles Manson or Hitler”?

[97Hope]

I wouldn't torture them to death. That's the only respect they get from me.

I think it's still a choice.

I was sexually assaulted. At the end of it - I wanted him in jail. Certain family members wanted him dead. Probably still do. Justice vs. vengeance along with respect.

None of us were "wrong" in our desires, IMO.

I'm not a hunter but the hunters I know aim for an instant kill - they don't let an animal suffer. There is no torturing them to death - they respect the animal. Animals do nothing to "earn" respect.

Now it could be argued that Manson & Hitler deserve to suffer - and I won't argue that. But that goes with my faith as well. And who I want to be inside.

I wanted vengeance at one time. I wanted a lot of things. Some times still have those thoughts - but deep down, who do I want to be? Still a choice I get to make every day.

[LH19]

I’m really sorry that happened to you hope. You did an amazing job at over coming adversity.

Truthfully I don’t need vengeance, I don’t love from a distance, I don’t hate from a distance, I just need peace.

She’s been bitten by the karma bug and although it makes me smirk I just keep on keeping on.

I have to live my best life and as my signature says “the right people will come and stay”.

[97Hope]

Thanks, LH.

I like where you are FWIW. It's honest and neutral. I might do better to be more neutral and drop the love - but that's where I am today. And that's still all I try and focus on. Might be interesting to see where I am in 10 years.

I smirked too about getting karma. Not gonna lie! lol

I love your tagline. I remember it from when I first started posting and leaned into it. I needed that reminder because my self esteem was in the toilet and XH had gone over and over and over my "list of iniquities" to the point where I just felt worthless.

I think that's where a lot of LBSs are when they come here. That it's all on us. If we would have x, or y, or z and the target moves and we try and work on q, and that's not enough. It's good to see people embrace this.The right people WILL come and stay. Our identity and worth can't come from others.

[97Hope]

Journaling,

Amazing day! Signed up for cross-fit! I start Monday. Have been running and not much else. Time to get strong. They are very nice there and the owner said that the people there are mostly working professionals around my age. Hallelujah! I live in a college town and it will be nice to meet people in my age group.

A sweet neighbor helped me clear ice off of my car last week. Young man (20 something). He is now parking next to me so I went and got him a little gift card for gas or whatever. I was struggling that day emotionally, and his kindness meant so much to me!

Treated myself to an over-priced soup & sandwich and spent a while at the book store. Purchased "Gates of Fire", and the movies "300" and "This is 40".

I would like to join a book club, but Covid.

I was supposed to go on a hike today with a new hiking group but it fell through.

Looking so forward to getting to work! Tentative start date is the 25th but if paperwork goes through - maybe sooner. Too much time right now to think and I can only run so often.

Grocery shopped and a man approached me in the cat isle. We chatted about cats (I'm sitting for my son's cat) and it was just nice to talk to a human.

Then I ran into him again in the rice isle and I think he may have flirted with me!

Don't worry, y'all - I didn't pounce. rawr. lol

Cleaned up the apartment and excited about a new book and movie a little later.

I haven't been able to read like I used to. My brain jumps too much. I think my anxiety is down, so I'm gonna give it a go.

Spoke with DIL and will pick up the grands tomorrow. 8 & 4 y/o and they are so much fun. They love coming here and I love my time with them.

Overall a great day. Enjoy reading here and discussions with my people. You are all my people and I appreciate you so much!

Have a great night!

[LH19]

If your looking for interesting podcasts listen to Peter Crone on YouTube.

I adopted one of his quotes:
What happened happened and it couldn’t happen any other way because it didn’t. If you can really get it and understand it and accept it, it’s a game changer.

Pretty sure the majority were destined for this path on their wedding day. Every LBS did the best they could with the tools they had. The frustrating part is watching people who don’t learn from their mistakes and keep doing the same thing over and over.

I’m sure you’re on the right path. I was very impressed with your exchange with your ex. You’re going to be fine.

May I ask how old you are?

[97Hope]

What happened happened and it couldn’t happen any other way because it didn’t. If you can really get it and understand it and accept it, it’s a game changer.

I LOVE this!!
Thanks for the recommendation - I like Jordan Peterson a LOT.

46 - 47 in April. I used to have a signature but I don't know what happened to it.

[LH19]

Cross Fit is awesome! Don’t get frustrated it’s very difficult at first.

Add “Feeling Stronger Every day.” By Chicago to your running play list.

I like Jordan Peterson too but he’s intense and I can only take it doses.

46 and three grandchildren. I’m 52 and have a 12 year old.